My Beloved Is Still Married to His Wife and Has a Daughter – Living as a Family While He Won’t Divorce Her

Author Mitsuko NagasakiReading 3 minViews 1

My beloved is still married to his wife and has a daughter.

I love my husband very dearly. Weve been together for more than seven years now and have a six-year-old son. He spends a great deal of time with our little boy, often taking him to his garage or out for a day trip somewhere fun. He looks after me, toosometimes surprising me with flowers for no reason at all or organising a romantic night out in town. We live a typical lifea happy family, really. Game nights, a bit of quiet routine, nothing too extravagant, but always content.

Just recently, we borrowed a bit of money from our parents and managed to buy our first flat. I take great pride in keeping our home tidy and cheerfulthe place always smells of freshly baked Victoria sponge or scones. I work off the books, but manage to earn enough for us to live modestly without worrying about bills. I have so many dreams for our home, and Im determined to make every one of them come true!

I work in a hair salon with a fair few private clients, while my husband does well for himself, too. We arent showy with money, but if we set our minds on buying something special or going on a holiday, were able to save up for it. Wed talked about getting a little cottage in the countryside, but have decided to wait for the right moment.

I love my life, and things between us are good. We met a bit later than most do, but I tell everyone I was simply waiting for a man like him to come along.
My partner keeps up a good relationship with his daughterhelps her out financially, visits often, and is on generally polite terms with his wifes parents, since their daughter lives with them. What happened between him and his wife, or where she is now, is something Ive never particularly cared to ask after.

I didnt lure him away from his marriagehe was already living on his own when we met, quite free. But theres something thats been weighing on me more and more: hes never actually gotten divorced from his wife. At work, if anyone asks me why we havent tied the knot, I just say, Weve decided to wait a bit longer. Everything seems fine, and marriage is just a piece of paper, after all.

My mum, though, recently pressed me to give my partner a proper ultimatum, insisting that if were truly committed, he needs to propose soon. She finds it odd that he still has this official connection to another womanon paper, she has all the entitlement, while with me, it feels like I carry all the responsibilities. Even though weve just moved into a new flat, technically it belongs to her. What would you call this sort of marital triangle, I wonder?

If Ive learned anything, its this: love brings happiness, but clarity brings peace. No matter how comfortable things may seem, the truth has a way of catching up, and its better to address it head-on than let it quietly trouble you.

How My Son’s Mother-in-Law Stole Him Away from Us Ever since our son got married, he refuses to visit us—he’s always at his mother-in-law’s house. She always needs urgent help. I can’t even imagine how she managed before her daughter married our son. Our son has been married for over two years. After the wedding, the newlyweds moved into the flat we bought for him when he started university. He’s always had our support and understanding. Even before the wedding, he lived on his own since his flat was close to his work. I won’t say I didn’t like my daughter-in-law—she just never seemed mature enough for married life, despite being only two years younger than our son. She often acted like a child and was quite moody at times. Our son is such a kind soul, and I always wondered how he’d manage life with someone so childish. After meeting her and her mother, I realised what kind of people they are. Despite being my age, my son’s mother-in-law acts like a child herself. Maybe you’ve met people who behave like children even when they’re older? They’re very immature and helpless. When her daughter got married, she was already on her sixth divorce. We never had much to say to each other—she was in her own world, though she didn’t try to invade ours. Our communication rarely went beyond the polite congratulations at the wedding. The warning signs started even before the wedding—the daughter-in-law would constantly drag our son over to her mum’s: a leaking tap, a socket to fix, a kitchen shelf that had fallen down. The first time, I let it go—there wasn’t a man in the house, so of course, an extra pair of hands would help. But the issues at her house never seemed to end. Our son started ignoring us, always saying he and his wife were off to her mother’s. Soon after, they began spending every holiday at his mother-in-law’s, leaving only me, my father, and my mother-in-law alone here. It was bad enough when our son stopped coming to all family celebrations, but it hurt even more when he started ignoring our requests for help. When we bought a new fridge and asked our son for help moving it, he agreed at first, but later he called to say he couldn’t because he and his wife were going to her mum’s again—this time about a leaking washing machine. When my husband rang him, we overheard my daughter-in-law saying, “Couldn’t your parents just hire movers?” Our son did turn up, but he was in a vile mood. “Dad, couldn’t you have just booked a removals team? Now I have to lug this thing myself!” That’s when I lost my patience. Why couldn’t his mother-in-law just call a specialist herself? Is she living in a parallel universe where those don’t exist? My son said the poor woman needed help because everyone tries to cheat her nowadays—they’ll take her money and not fix a thing. At that point, my husband snapped and said, “Maybe your mother-in-law doesn’t know much about appliances, but she’s certainly a skilled shepherd—she’s managed to lead one sheep perfectly.” Our son stormed out, furious with his dad. I didn’t interfere—as much as I agreed with my husband that our new in-laws had made themselves very comfortable on our son’s back, he could have put it more gently, and now our son refuses to see him and is upset with me too. After that row, our son hasn’t spoken to his dad for more than two weeks. His father won’t be the first to make amends. I feel torn—caught between a rock and a hard place. Of course, my husband is right, but he could have put it more kindly. Now my son is offended, and I risk losing him altogether over something so petty. Neither will give way—they both say the other should apologise first. Meanwhile, his mother-in-law seems to be having the time of her life! — **How My Son’s Mother-in-Law Took Him Away from Our Family: Ever Since He Got Married, He’s Always at Her House—Now There’s Always an Emergency Needing His Help, and He Hardly Sees Us Anymore**

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How My Son’s Mother-in-Law Stole Him Away from Us Ever since our son got married, he refuses to visit us—he’s always at his mother-in-law’s house. She always needs urgent help. I can’t even imagine how she managed before her daughter married our son. Our son has been married for over two years. After the wedding, the newlyweds moved into the flat we bought for him when he started university. He’s always had our support and understanding. Even before the wedding, he lived on his own since his flat was close to his work. I won’t say I didn’t like my daughter-in-law—she just never seemed mature enough for married life, despite being only two years younger than our son. She often acted like a child and was quite moody at times. Our son is such a kind soul, and I always wondered how he’d manage life with someone so childish. After meeting her and her mother, I realised what kind of people they are. Despite being my age, my son’s mother-in-law acts like a child herself. Maybe you’ve met people who behave like children even when they’re older? They’re very immature and helpless. When her daughter got married, she was already on her sixth divorce. We never had much to say to each other—she was in her own world, though she didn’t try to invade ours. Our communication rarely went beyond the polite congratulations at the wedding. The warning signs started even before the wedding—the daughter-in-law would constantly drag our son over to her mum’s: a leaking tap, a socket to fix, a kitchen shelf that had fallen down. The first time, I let it go—there wasn’t a man in the house, so of course, an extra pair of hands would help. But the issues at her house never seemed to end. Our son started ignoring us, always saying he and his wife were off to her mother’s. Soon after, they began spending every holiday at his mother-in-law’s, leaving only me, my father, and my mother-in-law alone here. It was bad enough when our son stopped coming to all family celebrations, but it hurt even more when he started ignoring our requests for help. When we bought a new fridge and asked our son for help moving it, he agreed at first, but later he called to say he couldn’t because he and his wife were going to her mum’s again—this time about a leaking washing machine. When my husband rang him, we overheard my daughter-in-law saying, “Couldn’t your parents just hire movers?” Our son did turn up, but he was in a vile mood. “Dad, couldn’t you have just booked a removals team? Now I have to lug this thing myself!” That’s when I lost my patience. Why couldn’t his mother-in-law just call a specialist herself? Is she living in a parallel universe where those don’t exist? My son said the poor woman needed help because everyone tries to cheat her nowadays—they’ll take her money and not fix a thing. At that point, my husband snapped and said, “Maybe your mother-in-law doesn’t know much about appliances, but she’s certainly a skilled shepherd—she’s managed to lead one sheep perfectly.” Our son stormed out, furious with his dad. I didn’t interfere—as much as I agreed with my husband that our new in-laws had made themselves very comfortable on our son’s back, he could have put it more gently, and now our son refuses to see him and is upset with me too. After that row, our son hasn’t spoken to his dad for more than two weeks. His father won’t be the first to make amends. I feel torn—caught between a rock and a hard place. Of course, my husband is right, but he could have put it more kindly. Now my son is offended, and I risk losing him altogether over something so petty. Neither will give way—they both say the other should apologise first. Meanwhile, his mother-in-law seems to be having the time of her life! — **How My Son’s Mother-in-Law Took Him Away from Our Family: Ever Since He Got Married, He’s Always at Her House—Now There’s Always an Emergency Needing His Help, and He Hardly Sees Us Anymore**

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Living in Someone Else’s Flat? Then Pay the Rent! “I don’t even know if my daughter’s wedding will happen. Everyone’s fallen out, and the future son-in-law has gone off the rails. There are only two weeks to go and he’s acting up. I feel so sorry for my daughter,” complains Alina. “Why is everyone arguing?” “You won’t believe it, but it’s over a flat. We wanted to make the young couple happy, so we used all our savings and bought them a flat as a wedding gift. We had to sell our little cottage by the lake and the garage just to afford it. The property is in my daughter’s name. But they’re getting married anyway—so what difference does it make whose name it’s in?” “Exactly…” “That’s what my husband and I think too. Now, the flat’s totally bare. It needs renovating and furnishing, but we’ve got no savings left. My husband suggested to our son-in-law-to-be that we all pitch in to get the place ready so they can move in quickly. But he refuses to help with the renovation!” “Why not?” “Because it’s not his flat! He won’t invest in property he doesn’t own. He said we should do the renovation ourselves. Maybe he’ll buy a few bits and bobs, but he won’t spend any real money.” “So why don’t they just move in as it is?” “They can’t. It’s completely empty and needs new plumbing and electrics, the floors and walls need evening out, the old windows are about to fall out—they need to be replaced. At the very least, it needs basic finishing,” says Alina. “I think it’s impossible to live in such a state, even though I’m not hard to please. How can young people live in a dump like that? It’s embarrassing! My future son-in-law works for a big company and makes good money, but he doesn’t want to spend it. He wants to save up for his own place so he’s not left without a roof over his head. “So it seems he wants to live at our expense. He’s demanding we pay for the renovation. So I told him, if he thinks it’s someone else’s flat, then he should pay rent! He just smiled and agreed,” Alina sighs. “What does your daughter say?” “She’s very upset and cries all the time. She loves him very much, but we can’t add him to the flat’s deeds. Now she says she doesn’t want the flat or the renovation at all. But I dislike that he’s unwilling to invest in their family. What’s going to happen next? They’re not even married and already thinking about divorce and splitting the assets,” says Alina. Do you think my future son-in-law should invest in this flat? He plans to live there, start a family, settle in. Does it really matter whose name is on the deeds? Or is his position logical? What would you do in his shoes?

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My Husband’s Parents Refuse to Accept His Divorce – They Keep Trying to Reunite Him With His Ex-Wife. “Don’t You Understand, They Have a Son Together!” My Mother-in-Law Complains I am married to a man whose parents have stubbornly refused to accept the fact that their son is divorced—even though it’s been over four years since it happened. They’re constantly trying to reconcile him with his ex-wife. He and I married three years ago and we have a happy life together. My mother-in-law thinks her son acted recklessly and foolishly. She believes he must do everything possible to rebuild his relationship with his ex-wife’s family. After all, his son is still there. When I met Adam, he was already divorced. Supposedly, it was a mutual decision, and his ex-wife happily remarried. Apparently, her affair was the reason for their split. Maybe we made a mistake by getting married. My own mum insisted we wed because she got pregnant, and I wasn’t really in love—I was just dating her. “If she hadn’t been pregnant, I wouldn’t have married her,” my husband explained. I wasn’t intimidated by his ex. At first, I decided to watch him closely. I realised he really wasn’t longing for his old family; he was indifferent to his ex-wife. She wasn’t interested in him either. She remarried, and they only communicate about their son. Only my mother-in-law couldn’t stand things as they were. His father as well. They kept trying to reunite the family, and took our relationship very negatively. “You’re still young, your life is ahead of you. Why would you get involved in someone else’s family?” she asked me when we were alone. I replied that if Adam were married, I wouldn’t interfere. But right now, he’s single. My mother-in-law tried to say more but fell silent when Adam came in. At that moment I knew I’d never have a good relationship with her—but I wasn’t particularly upset. We got married and moved in together. I’ve hardly had any contact with my mother-in-law except for occasional family holidays. That’s when I have to listen to her sigh about my husband’s former family. Adam tries to hush his mum, as he isn’t happy about it either—but then it all just repeats. We’re not rushing to have children. I don’t feel ready to be a mum and my husband already has a son, which my mother-in-law is very pleased about. After the divorce, my mother-in-law stepped in—she kept inviting my husband’s ex-wife for Christmas and praised her for everything. “They made such a lovely couple…” she’d sigh. His ex-wife had nothing to do with it—she was completely indifferent, just showed up and that was that. You could feel the lack of enthusiasm. My mother-in-law even tried to make Adam jealous of his ex-wife and me jealous of him. She’d ring me asking if I knew where my husband was. If I didn’t, she assumed he was with his ex. Or she’d send him on errands to his ex. All sorts of little things. I’m not jealous, but it all gets on my nerves. If you look at Adam and his ex, it’s obvious there’s nothing between them and there never will be. But having a child together doesn’t help. My husband regularly gives his ex money, sometimes talks to his son, and brings him round for visits. His ex isn’t manipulative or greedy, and doesn’t restrict visits. She seems perfectly normal. They behave like civilised adults. It just didn’t work out, and now each has their own life and they respect each other. But my mother-in-law can’t accept that, constantly stirring up drama. When will she stop? When will she wise up? My husband hopes she’ll quiet down once I give her a grandchild, but I don’t believe it.

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Stay informed and get help when you need it. Below are key national services with direct contacts that may support you or your loved ones:
🏥 Health & Mental Support

SAMHSA – Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration

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Hotline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) – 24/7, anonymous support

Website: samhsa.gov

🧒 Support for Children & Families

WIC – Women, Infants, and Children Program

What they do: Nutritional and healthcare support for pregnant women, new mothers, and young children.

Federal Info Line: 1-800-522-5006

Find local WIC office: fns.usda.gov/wic

My Beloved Is Still Married to His Wife and Has a Daughter – Living as a Family While He Won’t Divorce Her