“Mum, he wants me to do it for him… He says all good wives know how… Am I not good? Teach me… If everyone else can, surely I can too…” I’m still amazed that my niece found a husband, all thanks to her mother. When Alina was a child, my sister refused to let her go to nursery school; as a teenager, she was never allowed out, always kept at home—she became a hermit. While studying at university in our town, her mother insisted she return home by 6pm every day. At 20 years old, her mother would call at half seven and shout if she wasn’t home yet. It was absurd, nothing less. Alina met her future husband in her second year at uni, studying together in the library—he was two years older, shared his notes, helped her, and before he knew it, he had fallen for her, and they started dating. That was when my niece began openly defying her mother’s rules. Eventually, my niece married, and her mother allowed her to start a new life. Now, let me share a story that recently happened. I was at my sister’s house when Alina rang, her voice mixed with laughter and tears so that we could barely understand her: “Mum, he wants me to do it for him… He says all good wives know how… Am I not good? Teach me… If everyone else can, surely I can too…” At that moment, my sister’s face changed instantly; she told her daughter to calm down and asked her to explain what it was that all good wives can do. “Make soup, Mum,” she said. And we burst out laughing. “Don’t laugh at me! You never taught me how to cook, I’ve tried recipes online but nothing tastes right!” So my sister and I quickly walked her through every step of how to make homemade soup—occasionally laughing at ourselves along the way. That evening, my niece called to thank us; her husband had praised her, the soup was delicious, and Alina now insists she’s finally a “proper woman”!

Mum, he wants me to do it for him He says all proper ladies can do it And am I not proper? Please teach me If everyone else can do it, then surely, so should I

Im still amazed that my niece actually found herself a husband, especially considering how her mother raised her.

When Alice was a little girl, my sister refused to send her to nursery school. As a teenager, she was never allowed out with friends. She spent almost every day at home and grew up rather sheltered. Even when Alice was studying in London, her mum made sure she was home before six in the evening. At twenty, her mother would ring her at half seven, shouting down the phone asking why she wasnt home yet. It was ridiculous, honestlyalmost comical.

Alice met her future husband in her second year at university, studying together in the library. He was two years older, always lending her his lecture notes, helping her with essays, and before long, he had fallen head over heels for her. Soon after, he started courting her, and it was then that my niece began breaking her mothers rules without a care in the world.

Eventually, Alice did get married, and her mother, somewhat reluctantly, accepted that it was time for her to begin a new life.

Now, let me tell you what happened just recently. I was at my sisters house when Alice rang, her voice wobbling between tears and laughterhonestly, you could barely make out what she was saying:

Mum, he wants me to do it for him He says every good wife knows how And does that mean Im no good? Youve got to teach meif other wives know, then surely I can learn too!

My sisters face changed in an instant, and she asked Alice to calm down and explain just what it was that every good wife could do.

Make soup, Mum! Alice blurted out, and we both burst out laughing.

Dont laugh at me! You never taught me how to make it! Ive tried following recipes online, but they never taste any good!

We quickly walked her through how to make a decent pot of soupstep by step, with more than a few giggles along the way.

That evening, Alice called back to thank us, delighted that her husband had praised her, saying the soup was delicious. She proudly declared that at last, she felt like a proper woman!

And so, we realised that sometimes, the simple things we pass downa recipe, a bit of guidancecan help the next generation find their confidence. Growing up sheltered may set you back sometimes, but its never too late to learn something new, laugh at your mistakes, and start living life on your own terms.