The door rattles with a sharp metallic sound.
What on earth is going on?! This key doesnt fit! Are you barricaded in there? Emily! James! I know you’re home, the lights are on! Open up immediately, these bags are heavy, my arms are dropping off!
Patricia Barkers shrill, commanding voice echoes down the stairwell, bouncing off the clean magnolia walls and slipping under the neighbours doors. Wedged in front of her sons flat, she hauls at the handle and jams her old brass key with furious insistence into the unfamiliar, shining lock. Beside her sit two heavy tartan shopping bags, from which wilted parsley sticks out alongside the lid of a jar filled with some murky white substance.
Emily, climbing the stairs toward the third floor, pauses on the landing below, pressing herself against the wall in an effort to calm her racing heart. Every visit from Patricia is a test of nerves, but today is particularly fraught. Today is D-Day. The day five years of patience finally cracked, and the defence of her home began in earnest.
She takes a deep breath, adjusts her handbag strap, and summons a mask of polite calm before continuing upwards.
Good evening, Mrs Barker, she greets as she steps onto the platform. No need to shout; youll have the neighbours ringing the police. And please dont break the door; it wasnt cheap.
Patricia whips around. Her tightly permed curls halo a face blazing with righteous indignation, and her small blue eyes flash like storm-tossed glass.
So you are in! Look at her! Ive been standing here an age, knocking, calling! Why doesnt the key work? Have you changed the locks?
We did, yes, Emily answers, producing her own set of keys. Yesterday evening. We had a locksmith round.
And you didnt even tell me? Me, your husband’s own mother? I arrive with food shopping, looking after you both as usual, and you shut the door in my face? Give me the new key, now! Ive got meat for the freezer its starting to drip!
Emily stands firmly in front of the door, blocking the entrance and locking eyes with her mother-in-law. Once, she would have floundered, fumbling for an excuse or a spare key, desperate to keep Mum onside. But after what happened just two days ago, she has no urge left to play the good daughter-in-law.
There wont be a key for you, Mrs Barker, she says, voice steady. Not anymore.
A stunned silence falls. Patricia stares at Emily as if shes suddenly begun speaking Welsh or grown a second head.
What nonsense is this? she hisses, lowering her voice to a menacing whisper. Are you feeling alright? I am your husbands mother, Ill have you remember that! I am the future grandmother of your children! This is my sons flat!
This is the flat we bought with a mortgage we pay together, and may I remind you, the deposit came from the sale of my late grandmothers house, Emily counters. But thats not the point. The point is that you have crossed too many lines, Mrs Barker.
Patricia throws up her hands, barely missing the jar in her carrier.
Lines?! I come here out of love! You lot dont have a clue eating rubbish, wasting your money! I came to sort things out, inspect your food, and this is all I get?
Exactlyan inspection, Emily feels a cold wave of anger rising within. Lets remember two days ago. James and I were at work. You let yourself in with your key. And what did you do?
I tidied up your fridge! Patricia answers, proud. It was a disaster jars of mouldy stuff, and that stinky foreign cheese… I threw it all out, scrubbed the shelves, stocked up real food cooked a big pot of stew and whipped up some lovely rissoles.
You threw out the blue cheese, which cost nearly thirty quid, Emily starts, counting on her fingers. You poured half a jar of homemade pesto down the sink because it looked strange and green. You binned our pack of dry-aged steak, because you thought the meat had gone funny. And worst of all, you took all my skincare from the fridge and shoved it into the bathroom drawer, where the heat ruined it. The total cost, Mrs Barker, is over a hundred and fifty pounds. But its not about the money. Its about you rummaging through my cupboards.
I was saving you from poisoning yourselves! Patricia squeals. That cheese of yours is filthy. And steak? Real meat should be bright red, not marbled with fat! All cholesterol, that. I brought you chicken breasts proper healthy stuff! And soup!
You mean the soup you boiled up with bones youd already gnawed last Sunday? Emily snaps.
Thats real broth, Patricia snorts, scandalised, Honestly, Emily, youre spoiled! Back in the eighties, we were grateful for any cut of meat. And look at you… Theres nothing edible in your fridge. Just yoghurt, tubs of leaves… Where is the proper food? Wheres the bacon? Wheres your mums jam? I brought you pickled onions and jars of sauerkraut. Eat up and youll feel better for it.
Emily casts a glance at the bags. The mushy cucumbers floating in cloudy brine look dubious at best, and the sour reek of kraut pierces the plastic.
We dont eat that much salt, its no good for Jamess kidneys, Emily says wearily. Mrs Barker, Ive asked you countless times not to turn up unannounced. Not to touch my things. Not to conduct inspections. You ignore all that. As long as you had a key, you treated this place like your own storeroom. Thats why we changed the locks.
How dare you! Patricia advances, trying to wedge herself past Emily with her considerable frame. Im going to call James now! Hell sort this out! Hell open the door for his own mother!
Please do, Emily nods. Hell be home soon, actually.
Patricia, huffing, delves into her enormous coat for her mobile, glaring at Emily as if she were an enemy of the realm.
James! Jamie, love! she bellows so loudly that Emily winces. Do you know what your wifes done? Shes locked me out. Changed the locks! Im standing here like a beggar with heavy bags, my feet are killing me, my hearts pounding! Shes trying to kill me! Get round here and sort this madam out!
She listens, her expression shifting from triumphant to confused.
What do you mean, I know? You knew about the lock? Did you allow this? Are you henpecked? Keeping your own mother on the landing? What? Youre tired? Tired of what? Your mother’s care? I gave up everything for you!
She hangs up and directs a hateful glare at Emily.
So youre in it together Well, well see. James will be here soon. He wouldnt dare shut his mother out.
Without a word, Emily turns, unlocks the door, and steps inside.
Im going in, Mrs Barker. You can wait for James out here. I wont let you in.
Well see about that! Patricia tries to wedge her foot into the gap like a seasoned salesman.
But Emily is quicker. She slips inside and slams the heavy door. The locks click, first the Yale, then the mortice, then the deadbolt.
She leans against the cool steel, closes her eyes. Outside, the storm rages: Patricia pounds the door, kicks the step, hurls curses that would shrivel a daffodil.
You ungrateful wretch! Ill tell social services youre starving James! Ill call the council! Open this door! My krauts fermenting!
Emily heads for the kitchen, doing her best to ignore the racket. The fridge is spotless and eerie in its emptiness. Emily opens it. Only a lone saucepan of Patricias stew sits on the gleaming shelf. The smell of old cabbage and congealed fat is stifling. Without a second thought, Emily throws it down the loo and flushestwice. The pan she banishes onto the balcony; she cant face scrubbing it now.
She pours a glass of water, hands shaking slightly. All these years, she endured. Endured the early Saturday dusting visits. Endured her laundry being rewashed with cheap powder that triggered a rash, because your liquid doesnt clean properly. Endured the endless lectures on keeping your husband happy.
But the fridge was the last straw. Thats a womans domain, her little kingdom. Seeing well-chosen produce dumped for rank jars and stodgy dishes that made James illEmily realised: Either she fights for her boundaries now, or their marriage is over. Because she could no longer live in a Patricia Barker annex.
The noise falls silent. Patricia must be catching her breath or saving energy for the coming confrontation.
Twenty minutes later, the key turns in the lock. Emily tenses. The door opens, and James stands on the threshold, exhausted, collar askew, dark shadows beneath his eyes.
Patricia looms behind, less triumphant now, but unbowed.
There, Jamie, you see? she wails, pushing forward. Your wifes locked me out! Imaginethe mother who raised you! Come on, bring in the bags, I made fresh rissoles myself
James blocks the way, placing his briefcase on the hall table.
Mum, just leave the bags on the mat. Youre not coming inside.
Patricia stands, mouth agape. The bag with sauerkraut slips from her hand and flumps onto the floor.
What? she whispers. Jamie, darling Are you turning your mother away? For this little madam?
Mum, stop insulting Emily, James says, quietly but firmly. Last night he and Emily talked till 3 a.m., the memory of an empty fridge and ruined food raw between them. For the first time, he realised the scale of disaster. Hed always thought, Thats just Mumshe means well. But seeing the receipts for lost groceries brought home that Mum wasnt just trying to helpshe was destroying their peace and their finances.
Im asking you to leave, he continues. We had an agreement. Youd phone before coming. You didnt. You used your key to come and fix things while we were out. You threw away our food. Mum, thats overstepping, and its theft.
Theft?! Patricia screeches. I was helping! You eat like students! I care for you!
We dont need the kind of care that makes us want to run away, James snaps. Your soup upsets my stomach, your rissoles are all breadcrumbs and onion. Were adults, we choose our own food.
So thats it, is it? Patricia narrows her eyes. You dont need your mother? Grown too big, have we? Forgotten all Ive done for you?
Dont, Mum. Thats emotional blackmail. The key was for emergenciesflood, fire. Not fridge raids. You broke the agreement. So the locks changed. There wont be a new key.
Stuff your bloody key! she yells, so loudly the neighbours dog starts barking. Ill never set foot here again! See if I care! Live in your filth, eat your mouldy cheese! Dont come crawling to me when youre ill!
She scoops up her bags. One splitswizened carrots roll down the corridor.
See? See what I do for you? She prods a carrot with her shoe. All for you! And you Bah!
She spits on the mat, turns, and thunders down the stairs. Her muttering and curses echo right down to the slamming front door.
James locks up, bolts the door, turns to Emily.
How are you? he asks, collapsing onto the ottoman in the hallway.
Emily comes over to hug him, catching the scent of office air and stress.
Im alive, she replies. Thank you. I was scared you wouldnt stand up for us.
I was scared too, he admits. But when I saw her face… I realised that if I didnt say no now, wed be over. And Im not losing you over sauerkraut.
Emily laughs, shaky but relieved.
Theres carrots on the landing. We should tidy up, or the neighboursll think weve knocked off a greengrocers.
Ill sort it, James says. You just rest. Youre the hero tonight.
Later they sit together in the kitchen. The fridge is empty, but it feels like freedom. Freedom to fill it with whatever they love. They order a massive pizzacheesy, greasy, forbiddenthe very sort Patricia calls gut rot.
You know, James says as he takes a bite, she really wont be back. Shes proud. Mortally insulted.
Shell last a month, Emily predicts. Then the phone calls about her blood pressure will start.
She can call. Shes not getting a key.
Never again, Emily agrees, resolute.
The doorbell rings; Emily and James jump. Has she returned?
James peers through the peephole.
Who is it?
Delivery! comes the cheerful call.
Emily exhales, realising shed forgotten about the online food shop she ordered earlier, while James was cleaning up the carrot trail.
Soon, theyre unpacking groceries. Fresh, crisp salad. Cherry tomatoes. Scottish salmon steaks. Sugar-free yoghurts. And, crucially, a new wedge of blue cheese.
Emily puts things away, feeling a quiet, physical pleasure in every movement. This is her fridge. Her space. Her rules.
James, she calls.
Mmm?
How about we get an extra lock fitted on the bottom tomorrow? Just to be safe?
James grins and squeezes her shoulders.
Good idea. And a video intercom, while were at it.
Bathed in the cool light of the open fridge, they stand together, feeling for once genuinely content. Sometimes happiness isnt just being understood. Sometimes its about not having anyone impose their rulesor their ancient casseroleson your kitchen. And sometimes you have to change more than just the locks; you have to rethink every boundary, even if it hurts. Because on the other side of that pain is peace. Precious, white-noise peace that lets you, finally, just live.












