Monday, 10th June
My mother-in-law, Margaret Whitmore, dropped a bombshell today that left me utterly gobsmacked. Apparently, this summer she’s taking her daughter Natalie’s children—Emily and James—to her country cottage, while our six-year-old daughter, Lily, is to be sent back to us for the entire season! Not a single word of discussion, just a royal decree. When my husband, Oliver, and I tried to object, Margaret merely sniffed and said, “It’s only fair, Rebecca! I can’t possibly take all the grandchildren!” Fair? Since when do our lives revolve around her whims? I’m still fuming, and if I don’t vent, I might just explode.
It all started a fortnight ago when Margaret rang and casually announced her “arrangements.” At first, I didn’t grasp what she was implying. “Becca,” she said, “this year I’m taking Emily and James to the cottage. They’re older, easier to manage. Lily can stay with you.” I thought she was joking. Lily adores the cottage—the garden, the swing, the nearby brook. Every year, she’d spend a fortnight there, and Oliver and I were grateful for the break. But to outright exclude her and dump her on us like a parcel? That’s a step too far!
I confronted Oliver straightaway: “Did you hear what your mother’s decided? Since when does she get to call the shots?” Oliver, ever the peacemaker, just shrugged. “Becca, Mum wants time with Natalie’s kids. Lily will be fine here with us.” Fine? Of course she’ll be fine, but that’s not the point! Why didn’t Margaret bother asking us? We both work—we’d planned a summer holiday by the seaside with Lily. Now what? Cancel everything because Her Majesty decreed it? And that line about it being “fair”—as if she’s doing us a favour!
I rang Margaret directly. “Why didn’t you discuss this with us?” I asked. “Lily loves the cottage. We assumed she’d go, as always.” Her response? “Rebecca, don’t start. Emily and James haven’t been in ages. Lily’s your responsibility.” I nearly dropped the phone. *My* responsibility? Since when isn’t Lily her granddaughter too? And why do Natalie’s children take priority? I know Natalie lives closer to the cottage, and Margaret’s always favoured them, but to openly rank them above Lily? That’s downright rotten.
I tried explaining our plans, how hurt Lily would be, but Margaret cut me off. “Don’t be dramatic. Lily can stay home. I’m not made of elastic, you know.” Elastic? Who asked her to stretch? We’ve never forced Lily on her—we always arranged things properly. Now she’s just bulldozing over us. Oliver, instead of backing me up, just muttered, “Mum knows best, Becca. Don’t make a fuss.” *Don’t make a fuss?* I’m this close to packing Lily’s things and driving her to that cottage myself. Let Margaret try turning her away to her face!
The worst part is Lily’s excitement. She keeps asking, “Mum, when are we going to Granny’s cottage? I want to swing and pick strawberries!” What do I even say? That Granny chose the others? She’s just a child—she won’t understand, only feel left out. I suggested a compromise: take all three grandchildren for a month, and we’d cover the costs. But Margaret dug her heels in. “I’ve made up my mind, Rebecca. Don’t interfere.” *Interfere?* Since when am I a stranger in my own daughter’s life?
I even rang Natalie, hoping she’d talk sense into her mother. No luck. “Mum does as she pleases,” she said. “Emily and James have been begging to go. Lily’s still little—she’ll be fine at home.” Little? She’s a year younger than Emily! It’s clear Natalie’s thrilled her children are the favourites. Meanwhile, Oliver and I are left picking up the pieces of Margaret’s so-called “fairness.”
Now I’m torn. Do we carry on with our seaside trip and ignore Margaret’s snub? But it stings, knowing she’s sidelined Lily so easily. Or do I push Oliver to finally stand up to his mother? He’s hopeless—always insisting, “She loves Lily, Becca. She just wants it to be fair.” Fair? Is it fair when one grandchild gets the cottage and the other gets treated like an afterthought?
I haven’t decided yet. But one thing’s certain: I won’t let Lily feel unwanted. If Margaret thinks she can dish out her “fair” rulings unchecked, she’s mistaken. We’ll make this summer unforgettable for Lily—cottage or not. And I’ll remind Margaret that her grandchildren aren’t just Natalie’s. If she wants to be a proper grandmother to all of them, she’d better learn to negotiate, not dictate. For now, I’m just trying not to combust over this “fairness” and work out how to explain to Lily why Granny’s being so bloody peculiar.
