Dont expect any help while she stays with that goodfornothing: I told my daughter she must become independent.
Until she gets a divorce, she wont get a single cent from us, I said, adding that I would stop supporting her as long as she remained with that lazy man.
Every day our house shakes from arguments not between my husband and me, but because of my soninlaw. The man my daughter married is utterly idle and irresponsibly negligent. He hasnt held a steady job for over a year, doing only occasional odd jobs, and spends the rest of his time doing nothing. My daughter bears the whole family burden, raising two little ones while on parental leave. And him? He merely exists.
Of course my daughter cant work fulltime the twins need constant attention. I offered to help, but on one strict condition: I will not give a single cent until she divorces that parasite. Helping her also means, in a way, feeding his laziness, and Im done financing someones idleness.
From the start, I never liked Antoine. I hoped it would pass, that she would wake up. But alas they married. Youth, love, fantasies all clouded her judgment. Now we have to face the fallout.
My husband and I gave them my mothers apartment. It had been rented out and was our only supplemental income in retirement. The young couple couldnt afford the rent, so we handed it over. I only asked them to do a modest renovation so the children would be comfortable.
Then Antoine showed his true colors:
I wont deal with that. Im not a handyman; Im an intellectual. Let the paid workers handle it. Hire professionals.
With what money, I asked? He couldnt even earn enough to buy a screwdriver. All he does is philosophise and complain about his bad luck. Working evenings? Impossible. Weekends? We need rest. Hes clearly adopted the mindset that everything is owed to him.
When I called him a lazy bum outright, he took offense. Youre being unfair to me. And my daughter? Instead of backing me, she blamed me:
Because of you were arguing again. Why are you meddling?
I decided to keep my distance, warning her plainly: if she chose this situation, she must own it. Dont come asking for help later. When I learned she was pregnant with twins, my heart broke. I thought Antoine might pull himself together, but nothing changed. Everything fell back on us. We finished the work, sourced baby cribs, even accompanied my daughter to the doctor. He? Still slumped on the sofa, glued to his computer.
Camille did her best, but it was clear she was beginning to see the man shed married. Together we cobbled together the apartment, everything done by hand. Sure, he later bought a few bargainbasement gadgets thats no excuse. When you have a family to support, you must act like a man. He? Just a tenant in a house where everyone else does the work.
We eventually discovered how they were scraping by: a creditcard theyd quietly opened and hidden. Then a call came:
Mom, we cant make it. Help us
I was furious.
Camille! You had children with a man who cant even change a lightbulb! How did you expect to manage alone?
Were just going through a rough patch
What rough patch? You have a roof over your head, parents who shoulder everything. And him? He cant even find work the pay is too low, the distance too far, the hours dont suit him!
Mom, you dont get it Hes looking! He just wont work for peanuts!
But we live on peanuts! You, your kids, and him all on our hook!
Enough was enough. I refused to be a cash cow. I told her:
Until you divorce him, forget our door. Not a single euro will come your way. If you stay with him, own the consequences.
She burst into tears.
You want my children to grow up without a father?
Then I finally said what Id been thinking for a long time:
Better off without a father than with a man like that a parasite who lives off others.
I am a mother, but I wont play the victim. I want my daughter to raise her children with a real partner, not a dead weight. I want her to respect herself, not beg for aid while he sips his tea in peace. She hung up in silence, but I know someday shell understand.
