“Mum, maybe we should just let Gran go off and get lost? It’d be better for everyone,” said Emily defiantly.
“Mum, honestly, how long is this going to go on? Are you going to remind me for the rest of my life?” replied fifteen-year-old Emily, hurt.
“Not the rest of our lives, just while she lives with us. If she goes outside, shell get lost and”
“And die under a hedge, and well live with the guilt… Mum, maybe we should just let her?” Emily challenged again.
“Let her what?” Mum frowned.
“Let her go and get lost. You said yourself you’re sick of dealing with her.”
“How can you say that? Shes my mother-in-law, not even my own mother, but shes *your* grandmother.”
“Grandmother?” Emily narrowed her eyes, as she always did when she was angry. “Where was she when her precious son walked out on us? When she refused to look after meher own granddaughter? She never cared about you, slaving away at any job just to scrape together a few extra quid She even blamed *you* when Dad left”
“Stop it, right now!” Mum snapped. “I shouldnt have told you any of this.” She sighed. “Ive raised you badly if you cant feel pity for someone, for your own family. It terrifies me. When I grow old, will you treat me like this too? Whats wrong with you? You used to be such a kind girl. You could never walk past a stray kitten or puppy without bringing it home. But Gran isnt a puppy…” Mum shook her head wearily. “Shes already being punished. Your father didnt just abandon ushe abandoned her too.”
“Mum, youll be late for work. Ill lock the door, I promise,” Emily said guiltily.
“Alright Well just end up saying things we regret.” But Mum didnt move.
“Mum, Im sorry, but it hurts to look at you. Skin and bones. Youre only forty, but you walk like an old woman, barely dragging your feet. Youre always exhausted. Why are you looking at me like that? Who else is going to tell you the truth but your own daughter?” Emily hadnt realised shed raised her voice again.
“Thanks. Just make sure she doesnt leave the gas on or the taps running.”
“See? Thats what I mean. Were tied to her. No life of our own. Mum, lets put her in a care home. Shed be looked after properly. She doesnt understand anything anymore.”
“Are we back to this?” Mum cut her off.
“Itd be better for everyone, *especially* her,” Emily pressed on, ignoring Mums growing irritation.
“I dont want to hear another word. Im not sending her away. How much longer does she have? Let her stay at home.”
“Shell outlive both of us. Just go to work. I wont go anywhere, Ill lock the door, I promise,” Emily muttered bitterly.
“Sorry. Ive piled too much on you All your friends are out enjoying themselves, and youre stuck looking after Gran.”
They spoke without noticing Grans bedroom door was ajar. She must have heard everything, though she probably didnt understandand would forget it all in a minute.
Mum left for work, and Emily went into her old room, now Grans.
“Gran, do you need something?”
Grans gaze was blank.
“Come on, Ill give you a sweet.” Emily helped her up and led her to the kitchen.
“Who are you?” Gran stared vacantly.
“Have your tea.” Emily sighed and placed a sweet in front of her.
Gran loved sweets. She and Mum hid them from her, only giving her one with her tea. Emily watched as Gran unwrapped the bright wrapper. Through her thin grey hair, her pale scalp showed. Emily looked away.
Once, Gran had dyed and styled her hair, painted her lips bright red, arched her eyebrows. Emily remembered the sweet scent of her perfume. Men had always noticed heruntil her mind began to fade.
Emily couldnt tell what she felt for Gran: pity, resentment, guilt? A sharp knock at the door distracted her.
“Mum mustve forgotten something,” she muttered, going to answer.
But it was her friend, sixth-former Daniel. Mum didnt approve of their friendship, so he only came over when she wasnt home.
“Hi. Why so early? Mum just left,” Emily whispered.
“I know. She didnt see me.”
“Millie!” Grans voice floated from the kitchen.
“Whos Millie?” Daniel asked.
“Thats what she calls Mumthinks shes her daughter. Ill take her back to her room. Wait in the bathroom and stay quiet. Shes having a lucid moment.” Emily nudged Daniel toward the bathroom.
“No ones here.” Emily stepped into the kitchen and saw an empty cup and a sweet wrapper on the table.
“I want tea,” Gran said.
“But” Emily gave up trying to explain.
Gran forgot everything quickly, especially recent events. But she remembered the distant past vividly, often mixing things up, not recognising her or Mum. Sometimes, though, she had moments of claritybrief and rare.
Emily couldnt tell if Gran was pretending now, angling for another sweet, or if shed genuinely forgotten shed just had tea. Who could know? She sighed, poured another cup, and laid out another sweet.
Gran fumbled with the wrapper, her fingers uncooperative. When the cup was empty, Emily led her back to bed.
“Sleep now,” she said, closing the door behind her.
Daniel peeked out from the bathroom.
“Can I come out?”
“Yeah. Kitchen.” Emily checked the door was shut and followed him.
They sat close at the kitchen table, sharing earphones from Daniels phone, Emily swaying slightly to the music. She didnt notice Gran slip into the hallway
When she went to see Daniel out, she found the front door open. She rushed to Grans roomempty.
“The door I didnt lock it. Shes gone. Mum will think I did it on purpose,” Emily said, near tears.
“Why would she think that?” Daniel asked.
“You dont get it. I *just* said today itd be better if she wandered off. Mum will think I left the door unlocked to spite her.”
“Alright, get your coat. Well look for her. She cant have gone far,” Daniel said.
Emily glanced at the coat rackGrans quilted jacket was still there. So were her shoes.
“Did she go out in slippers and a dressing gown?” Emily stared at Daniel, bewildered.
“Maybe she went to a neighbours? Got confused on the landing Ill check the street, you knock on doors,” Daniel said, already heading downstairs.
No one answered on their floor. Emily gave up and ran outside. Daniel was searching under bushes, by the playground slide
“Nothing. Lets check nearby streets. You go right, Ill go left. Whoever finds her first calls. Meet back here,” Daniel said, sprinting off.
Emily even checked the bus stop. No sign of Gran. How long had she been gone? Half an hour? Forty minutes? How far could she get in slippers and a dressing gown?
“We should call the police,” she said.
“Wait. Thinkwhat did she talk about most? Favourite places?” Daniel panted.
Emily thought hard but couldnt recall anything. She shrugged.
“Alright, widen the search. You head toward school, Ill go the other way.”
Not all the streetlights worked. Emily hurried past dark patches, imagining figures hiding behind bushes. Near the school, she suddenly remembered a story Gran had toldhow shed once forgotten an exercise book, gone back for it, and been locked in. Shed jumped from a first-floor window and nearly broken her leg.
Gran hadnt gone to this school, but she always told the story when they passed it. Emily pushed the gateunlocked. The building was a typical 1960s design, shaped like a “U.” Rounding one wing, she saw a group of lads laughing at someone.
“Gran!” Emily ran toward them.
Gran stood in the courtyard in her blue-grey dressing gown. One lad held out an empty sweet wrapper, snatching it back when she reached for it. The others roared with laughter.
“She doesnt even get it. Escaped from the loony bin, have you? Want a sweet?” He dangled the wrapper again.
“Leave her alone!” Emily shouted.
The lads turned.
“Look, another one!”
“Whore you, then? Granddaughter?”
“Escaped together, did you?”
“This ones not bad. Want a sweet?” The lad with the wrapper stepped toward Emily.
The others followed, no longer laughing, sensing her fear. Emily backed up, hitting the fence. The gate was too far
