“Mum, maybe we should just let Grandma wander off and get lost? It’d be better for everyone,” said Maisie with a defiant edge.
“Mum, how much longer can we go on like this? Are you going to remind me of this for the rest of my life?” Maisie snapped back, her voice thick with resentment.
“Not foreverjust while shes living with us. If she steps outside, shell get lost and”
“die under a hedge somewhere, and well live with the guilt Mum, why dont we just let her?” Maisie pressed again, her tone sharp.
“Let her what?” Her mother frowned, confused.
“Let her go and get lost. Youre the one who said you were sick of dealing with her.”
“How can you say that? Shes my mother-in-law, not my own motherbut shes still your grandmother.”
“Grandmother?” Maisie narrowed her eyes, the way she always did when anger flared. “Where was she when her precious son walked out on us? When she refused to babysit meher own granddaughter? She never spared you a thought when you were scrambling for extra shifts just to make ends meet And she blamed you when Dad left!”
“Stop it right now!” her mother snapped, rising from her chair. “I never should have told you any of this.” She sighed. “Ive raised you badly if you cant feel pity for someone, for family. It terrifies me. When Im old, will you treat me the same way? Whats happened to you? You were always such a kind girl. You couldnt walk past a stray kitten or puppy without bringing it home. But Grandma isnt a puppy” She shook her head wearily. “Shes already been punished. Your father abandoned her too.”
“Mum, go to workyoull be late. I promise Ill lock the door.” Maisie glanced guiltily at her mother.
“Fine. Well just keep saying things well regret” But her mother didnt move.
“Mum, Im sorry, but it hurts to look at you. Skin and bones. Youre only forty, but you walk like an old woman, barely dragging your feet. Always exhausted. Why are you looking at me like that? Who else will tell you the truth if not your own daughter?” Maisie hadnt realised her voice had risen again.
“Thanks. Just make sure she doesnt leave the gas on or the taps running.”
“See? Thats exactly what I meanwere stuck here, tied to her. No life at all. Mum, lets put her in a care home. Shed be looked after properly. She doesnt understand anything anymore”
“Youre at it again?” her mother cut in sharply.
“Everyone would be better offher most of all,” Maisie went on, ignoring her mothers growing irritation.
“I dont want to hear another word. Im not sending her anywhere. How long does she have left? Let her stay at home.”
“Shell probably outlive us both. Go to work. I wont go anywhere, Ill lock the doorpromise,” Maisie repeated bitterly.
“Sorry. Ive dumped too much on you All your friends are out having fun, and youre stuck looking after Grandma.”
They spoke without noticing the open door to Grandmas room. She must have heard everythingthough whether she understood or would remember any of it was another matter.
Her mother left for work, and Maisie stepped into her old bedroom, now Grandmas.
“Gran, do you need anything?” she asked.
Grandmas gaze was blank, empty of any want.
“Come on, Ill give you a sweet,” Maisie said, helping her up and leading her to the kitchen.
“Who are you?” Grandma stared at Maisie, unseeing.
“Have your tea,” Maisie sighed, placing a sweet on the table.
Grandma had always loved sweets. She and her mother hid them from her, allowing just one with tea. Maisie watched as Grandma fumbled with the bright wrapper. Through her thinning grey hair, her pale scalp showed. Maisie looked away.
Once, Grandma had dyed her hair, piled it high, painted her lips red, pencilled her brows into perfect arches. Maisie remembered the cloying scent of her perfume. Men had always noticed heruntil her mind began slipping away.
Maisie couldnt untangle what she feltpity, resentment, disgust? A knock at the door pulled her from her thoughts.
“Must be Mumforgot something,” Maisie muttered, going to answer.
But it was her friend, Daniel, from sixth form. Her mother disapproved of him, so he only came when she was out.
“Hey. Why so early? Mum just left,” Maisie whispered.
“I know. She didnt see me.”
“Milly!” Grandmas voice carried from the kitchen.
“Whos Milly?” Daniel asked.
“Thats what she calls Mumthinks shes her daughter. Ill take her to her room. Go hide in the bathroom. Shes having one of her clear moments.” Maisie nudged Daniel toward the bathroom.
“No ones here.” Maisie returned to the kitchen to find an empty cup and a crumpled wrapper on the table.
“I want tea,” Grandma said.
“But” Maisie gave up explaining.
Grandma forgot things instantlyespecially the recent past. But she remembered long-ago days with eerie clarity. Sometimes she mixed everything up, didnt recognise them. But now and then, brief flickers of clarity surfaced.
Was Grandma playing dumb for another sweet? Or had she truly forgotten shed just had tea? Who could tell? Maisie sighed, poured another cup, and set out another sweet.
Grandma struggled with the wrapper, fingers uncooperative. When the cup was empty, Maisie led her back to bed.
“Sleep now,” she said, shutting the door.
Daniel peered out from the bathroom.
“Can I come out?”
“Yeah. Kitchen.” Maisie glanced to make sure the door was closed and followed him.
They sat close, sharing earphones, heads nodding to the music. Maisie closed her eyes, swayingand didnt notice Grandma slipping into the hallway
When Maisie went to see Daniel out, she found the front door open. She rushed to Grandmas roomempty.
“The door I didnt lock it. Shes gone. Mum will think I did it on purpose,” Maisie whimpered, near tears.
“Why would she think that?” Daniel asked.
“You dont get it. Today of all days, I said itd be better if she just disappeared. Mumll think I left it open out of spite.”
“Alright, get your coat. Well look. She cant have gone far.”
Maisie checked the coat rackGrandmas quilted jacket was still there. So were her shoes.
“She went out in slippers and a housecoat?” Maisie stared at Daniel.
“Maybe shes with the neighbours? Wandered into the wrong flat Ill check the garden, you ask upstairs.”
But no one answered their knocks. Maisie gave up and ran outside. Daniel was searching under bushes, by the playground slide
“Nothing. Lets try the next streets. You go right, Ill go left. Whoever finds her first calls. Meet back here.”
Maisie even checked the bus stop. No sign. How long had it been? Half an hour? Forty minutes? How far could an old woman in slippers get?
“We should call the police,” she said.
“Wait. Thinkwhat did she talk about most? Places she liked?”
Maisie frowned but came up blank.
“Alright, widen the search. You go toward school, Ill try the other way.”
Streetlights flickered unevenly. Maisie hurried past dark stretches, feeling unseen eyes from the bushes. Near the school, she suddenly rememberedGrandma once told her shed forgotten an exercise book, gone back, and been locked in. Shed jumped from a first-floor window, nearly breaking her leg.
Shed gone to a different school, but passing this one, she always told that story. Maisie pushed the gateunlocked. The building was a typical 1960s design, shaped like a “U.” Rounding one wing, she spotted a group of lads laughing at something.
Grandma stood in the courtyard in her blue-grey housecoat. One boy dangled an empty sweet wrapper. When she reached for it, he snatched it back, and they roared.
“Leave her alone! She doesnt understand!” Maisie shouted.
The boys turned.
“Oi, another one!”
“Whore you? Granddaughter?”
“Escaped from the loony bin together?”
The boy with the wrapper sauntered over. The others followed, no longer laughing, eyes greedy, feeding off her fear. Maisie backed into the fence. The gate was too far. As one, they lunged.
Hands grabbed her, pinned her against the railings. Fingers groped, deciding who
