I am ashamed of my actions and I do not consider myself a worthy son. I was looking at my mother, who was looking at me through the windows of the nursing home. A few years ago I left her here, because I chose a wife and a life of comfort. Now my conscience does not give me peace.
My father left us when I was very young and my mother worked hard to put me on my feet. She was very beautiful and young, so she had many admirers. However, she chose me and remained alone, saying that she would never leave me. She worked as a pastry chef in shifts, because she needed to earn money to pay for housing, food, and then for education.
Because she often worked with pastries, her hands were always red and swollen. Sometimes we ate pastries from her work when my mother’s salary was delayed. She did everything to make sure I was not hungry, but I did not even notice it then. She was both mother and father to me, I never felt deprived of anything. I remember she often repeated that she would never get married so that her new husband would not teach me.
I really had a happy childhood, in high school I decided to help my mother and got a job in a local kiosk. There I cleaned, took out the garbage, sometimes stood behind the cash register. Later, my mother began to have health problems, it was very difficult for her to move her hands, she could not work anymore. Then I became responsible for providing for the family. A therapist often came to us and wrote out whole prescriptions with medicines, for which I was forced to save money.
Later I entered the university and my mother and I moved to a big city. Then my mother went to work as a concierge, and I earned money by writing diploma and term papers. We had more money and found good doctors for my mother. Life began to improve and we were really happy. Even my mother’s health was improving.
And then I fell in love. At first, Amelia did not pay attention to me, and she seemed to me an impregnable beauty. I still do not know whether she was my first love or the destroyer of my destiny? She was from an intelligent family, stylishly dressed and a bit strange at the same time. We started dating and all my friends were jealous of me. Her parents were against our relationship, so I hardly talked to them. I was ashamed to introduce Amelia to my mother, her parents were successful and beautiful. It was wrong, but I could not help it.
I decided then that Amelia would move to me, and my mother would have to look for another place to live. So after school I started this serious conversation:
– “Mom, I have a girl I love, we want to live together.
– Son, I am so happy for you. I am already looking forward to our acquaintance.
– I’ll introduce you sometime, but where are you going to live?
– Oh, don’t worry about me, I’ll go to our town, maybe a neighbor will take me in.
– But you won’t be able to live there for a long time. You will still need to get money from somewhere.
– The neighbor also needs help, don’t worry, I say again. And do not spend money on me, create a good family, and I will be happy. And when I get a job, I will send you money.
– Okay, Mom. I’ll see you off tomorrow, then?
– Yeah, let’s go to bed.
I knew that the neighbor would not accept my mother and they would definitely not live together. But then I was satisfied with the answer and wanted to get rid of this burden as soon as possible. In the morning my mother left without even saying goodbye. When I got up, I saw a note on the table and breakfast prepared:
“Don’t worry about me, I just didn’t notice that you are so grown up. You are probably ashamed of me and do not want to introduce us to your beloved. I completely understand and love you. Just tell her that you have no mother, so you will avoid an unpleasant situation for you. Do not forget that I am in your life, I am always ready to help. I will be at the neighbor’s house”.
Mother left without a penny in her pocket, I did not know where she was and what happened to her. Amelia and I got married, later we had a daughter. There were so many things to do that I just did not have time to think about my mother. However, after I became a father, I began to think about my mother more often. I told my wife everything about my mother and how I treated her.
– Don’t tell me you want her back!” Amelia said with disgust.
– I just need to know that she’s okay.
– Just do not think to bring her to us, not knowing where she was, and what diseases she can bring home, and we have a small child. It is not desirable for her to be with strangers.
– She is her grandmother, don’t be silly.
After a few weeks of searching I found her. The neighbor passed away long ago, so the mother could not go to her. Various phone calls and I was told that my mother was in a nursing home. When I went to her, she was standing at the window looking for someone.
She did not recognize me. The disease was progressing without proper care. She just said hello and continued to look through the windows:
– “She is standing like that because she is waiting for her son. She has been looking out the window since she got here. She said that he would definitely come here, she believed that he was waiting. Now she does not even remember why she is standing, just waiting and crying. We are all waiting for something here: either the last hour, or the conscience that will finally wake up in children.
What do you think about this?
