“Stop spending so recklessly!”
Emma sighed. This kind of outburst had marked nearly every conversation with her husband, Josh, recently, especially when she showed him anything new she’d bought. Lately, Emma had stopped boasting about her recent acquisitions—whether they were sweaters, shoes, or handbags. However, Josh still noticed every new addition to her wardrobe and ended up arguing.
In reality, there was no reason to fault Emma. She earned just as much as Josh, and they both contributed equally to the household finances. Josh couldn’t claim he was the sole provider or that he spent more on joint expenses. Yet, for some reason, each of Emma’s recent purchases had started to irk him.
Emma couldn’t understand what was wrong. Financially, they were stable—easily managing the mortgage, enjoying pleasant summer vacations, and having enough left over for small indulgences like new clothes. But suddenly, Josh had become unexpectedly frugal. Emma pondered what could be causing this change. They’d known each other for years, having met at university, progressing from a crush to a strong attachment, and finally love. They’d married right after graduation and had been together for five years, in a mostly happy marriage until recently.
Josh worked at a law firm, specializing in civil law, and was seen as a promising partner candidate. Emma handled accounts at a major estate agency. Their busy schedules didn’t yet allow them to think about starting a family, despite both being 29 years old. Their parents had been subtly suggesting it was time to consider children.
“Emma, don’t delay,” her mother, Mary, an athletic woman, would advise. “It’s risky to have children later, the baby might not be healthy.”
Mary had given birth to Emma at 33, and Emma would remind her that she turned out perfectly fine. Her mother would just shrug, “I got lucky, but you might not be. Fortune is fickle.”
Mary would often spit over her shoulder or make the sign of the cross superstitiously. Emma would inwardly sigh, as there was no convincing her mom otherwise.
Josh’s parents were equally relentless, often telling him they were eager for grandchildren, suggesting two, or even three.
“You have everything,” Josh’s father would start his spiel, “a house, a car, a job. Financial stability. Settle Emma at home and let her have babies! That’s what women are for, after all.”
“Oh, stop pressuring him!” his wife would chime in, feigning annoyance. “Women can do so much! But we would love to have grandchildren to cuddle, Josh.”
As time passed, both Emma and Josh were slowly getting used to these conversations, accepting them as inevitable. But, naturally, the parents were not about to let up. When mere suggestions failed to prompt the young couple into parenthood, they adopted more active methods.
Emma’s mother, vibrant and active, suddenly began “feeling unwell.” She abandoned her favorite Nordic walking and swimming, taking every opportunity to tell her daughter how strenuous even household chores had become.
Emma saw through the deception and manipulation. Her mother was as healthy as ever, except for slightly high blood pressure. Mary had always been robust, a former athlete who even won regional competitions and retained her fitness well into her sixties. Emma couldn’t recall her mother ever being truly ill, aside from an occasional mild cold.
Thus, Mary’s lamentations about her poor health were mere acts. Emma could see her mother was strong, eating heartily, devouring her beloved scones and salads, and always preparing elaborate meals for Emma’s visits—dishes a genuinely ill woman couldn’t possibly make.
Josh would merely chuckle when Emma complained about her mother’s clumsy attempts at manipulation.
“She probably says she’s going to die soon and won’t be able to enjoy her grandchildren, right?” He’d wrap his arm around Emma’s shoulders and kiss her tenderly on the temple. “Don’t worry, love. They’re just trying to push things along. But we’ve already decided our timeline, haven’t we?”
The couple indeed had a plan. Emma would work another year to secure the experience needed to find a comparable role post-maternity leave. She would then quit, focus on her health, and undergo necessary checkups she could hardly fit into her current schedule. Then they’d have a child, or maybe even more.
However, they weren’t ready to share their plans with the parents, who would surely lament the delay if they knew. Emma and Josh preferred to keep their discussions about starting a family private for now.
Things were more or less manageable, excluding Mary’s ongoing complaints about her health, until recently when Josh began criticizing Emma’s spending.
Emma couldn’t understand why. Then she reviewed her expenses using the banking app on her phone. Perhaps she was indeed spending more on herself unconsciously, and Josh, being a prudent husband, was simply pointing it out?
However, the app analysis revealed her spending had remained consistent. Emma set the phone aside, puzzled. Clearly, there was no basis for Josh’s criticisms. Could he be experiencing difficulties at work and worrying they might run into financial issues?
Emma decided to talk to him. Over coffee on a weekend, she broached the subject with Josh in their living room.
Josh shook his head, putting down his half-empty cup.
“No, Emma, work is fine. Really. You don’t need to worry, I wouldn’t hide such a thing from you.”
“Then what’s the issue?” Emma asked directly. “Look, I analysed my spending—it hasn’t increased.”
She showed him the charts on her banking app. Josh scrolled through them, frowning.
“You even spent less last month,” Emma added, perplexed by his expression. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s my mother,” Josh admitted reluctantly. “She’s been nagging me to save more, claiming we won’t have enough for a child otherwise, and that we’re spending too much…”
“So, it’s her?” Emma said slowly, starting to grasp the real reason behind Josh’s criticisms. “Your mother’s counting my money?”
Josh nodded sheepishly. Emma felt a flash of anger but ended up laughing.
“What a sly one! You know she’s trying to pressure us, right? First to make me save, then later to say, ‘you have enough savings, it’s time for grandchildren.’”
“Yeah, I realize,” Josh said begrudgingly. “But how do I prove it to her?”
“You can’t,” Emma shrugged. She looked thoughtfully at her coffee cup. “Josh, maybe it’s time we share our plans with them. Yes, they’ll fuss about the delay, but we can explain things like my job situation. They might understand, and if not, it won’t be any worse.”
“Maybe…” Josh replied, uncertain.
“Tomorrow’s Sunday. Let’s invite them for tea and discuss it as a family. I’ll bake something. Your parents love my shortbread, I can make that.”
“Alright,” Josh agreed, hugging Emma and kissing her temple as usual. “You’re right—better to discuss openly than plan in secret.”
