Living in Someone Else’s Flat? Pay the Rent! “I don’t even know if my daughter’s wedding will go ahead. Everyone’s fallen out, and my future son-in-law’s lost the plot. With only two weeks to the big day, he’s acting up. I have no idea how this will end, I feel so sorry for my daughter,” sighs Helen. “Why is everyone arguing?” “You won’t believe it—it’s all about the new flat. We wanted to do something special for the newlyweds, so we put together every last penny, even sold our cottage in the country and the garage, just to afford a flat as a wedding gift. It’s in my daughter’s name. But since they’re about to marry, what does it matter whose name is on the deed?” “Well, exactly…” “That’s how both myself and my husband see it. The flat, of course, is a blank slate. It needs a full renovation and furnishing, but we’ve nothing left in savings. My husband suggested we all pitch in on the renovation so they could move in as soon as possible. But the fiancé flat out refused to do any work!” “Why’s that?” “Because, in his eyes, it’s not his flat. He doesn’t want to put time or money into a property he doesn’t own. He said we should handle renovations ourselves. He’ll pick up a few basics, but has no intention of spending much on it.” “Maybe they should just live in it as is, without a renovation?” “That’s impossible, the flat’s completely bare. And to top it off, all the water and electrics need redoing, floors and walls are a mess, old windows are about to fall apart, and it needs at least basic finishing touches,” Helen explains. “I really don’t see how anyone could live there, even I’m not that easy-going. How can young people start off in a dump like that? It’s embarrassing. My future son-in-law works at a major company, he’s paid well, but he’s too tight with money. You see, he wants to save for a home of his own so he’s never at risk of being left with nothing. Basically, he wants to live off us. He insists we pay for all the work ourselves. So I told him if he thinks it’s someone else’s flat, he should pay us rent! He laughed and agreed,” sighs Helen. “What does your daughter think?” “She’s in tears, very upset. She loves him terribly, but we just can’t add his name to the deeds. She says now she doesn’t want a flat, or a renovation. But I don’t like that he won’t invest in the family at all. What comes next? They’re not even married and they’re already fretting over divorce and splitting assets,” Helen says. Do you think my future son-in-law should invest in the flat? He’s planning to live there, start a family, make it a home. Does it really matter whose name is on the paperwork? Or is his position logical? What would you do if you were in his shoes?

Someone elses flat? Then pay rent!

“I honestly dont know anymore if my daughters wedding will even happen. Everyones been arguing. And my future son-in-law is acting up. There are just two weeks to go, and hes completely losing the plot. I genuinely worry for my daughter,” I confessed.

“And what are you all arguing about?”

“You wont believe itits all about the flat. My wife and I wanted to do something really nice for them. We gathered all our savings and bought them a flat as a wedding present. We even sold our little cottage on the coast and the garage to cover everything. The propertys in my daughters name. But theyre getting married, so what difference does it make whose name its under?”

“Well, quite”

“Thats what we thought. Of course, the flat is completely empty. Needs a full renovation and to be furnished, and we havent got a penny left. My wife told my future son-in-law that wed all pitch in for the refurbishment together, just so they can move in as soon as possible. But my son-in-law refuses to do anything to the place!”

“Whys that?”

“Because, he says, its not his flat. He doesnt want to put money and effort into a property that isnt his. He suggested we do the renovation ourselves. He might pick up a few things here and there, but he has no intention of spending much at all.”

“So why dont they just move in and live there as it is, without renovating?”

“They cant. The place is completely bare. The plumbing and electrics need to be redone, the floors and walls sorted out, old windows replaced before they fall out at least a bit of basic finishing off,” I explained.

I really think you cant live in those conditions, even though Im not fussy. How can young people start their lives together in such a dump? Its embarrassing. Hes got a good job at a big company, gets a decent salary, but hes too stingy to spend on the flat. Apparently, he wants to save up for his own place so he doesnt end up without a roof over his head.

“It just feels like he wants to live at our expense. Expects us to do the flat up for him. So I said, if the flat isnt his, then he can pay rent like a tenant. And he actually smiled and agreed!” I sighed.

“What does your daughter think?”

“Shes terribly upset and honestly, shes been in tears for days. She loves him a lot, but we cant just put his name on the deed too. Now she says she doesnt even want the flat or the renovation. But it really gets to me that he doesnt want to invest in their life together as a family. What happens next? Theyre not even married yet, and already theyre thinking about a potential divorce and dividing up assets!”

Do you reckon my future son-in-law should put money into this place? He plans to live there, have kids, settle down. Does it really matter whose name the property is in? Or perhaps his perspective is reasonable? I wonder what you would do in his situation?