Daisy
He called her Daisy the moment he dropped into the red velveteen seat next to hers, as battered and shiny from countless people as the one under my own legs.
He took a moment to scan the concert hall, then turned to his neighbour.
Bored, Daisy? he sighed, trying to throw one leg over the other, but the row was too tight; his pointy shoe jammed into the seat in front, his ankle twisting uncomfortably. Mike winced.
Daisy pretended not to notice him, resolutely facing the stage, though there was nothing of interest on it. Lined-up tables, a podium, people dashing to-and-fro over equipmentjust a typical conference, and the air was stifling.
Crowds always made Daisy feel strange, the closeness of chairs, the press of other bodies, the inescapable sense of being stuck.
Yeah…, Mike muttered, scratching his chin. Absolute shambles! And you know, Daisy, were not going to hear anything new here. Honestly! Ive read all the reportspart of the job, you see. Not a single useful thing among them.
Daisy turned, fixing him with a strict look.
He was tidy enough, suit and tie, polished shoes. Yet he was all wrongas if someone had cut out the shape of a rascal and shoved it into a business outfit. A mischief-maker, a jester, a chatterbox, and a bit of a jokerthats what he was. And his hair stuck up in soft tufts, two neat crowns curling over like pretzels.
Michael, he said, offering his large hand even as Daisy barely opened her mouth. Fancy lunch? Youre so small, so thin, I just want to feed you. Yes, thats how itll be. Come on, lets get out of here!
The hall was dimming now, the management and the valued staff were making their way onstage to applause, but Mike, not a bit embarrassed, was hauling his Daisy along, stepping on toes, apologising, shoving his tie back into his jacket (it refused to stay put, like it was sticking its tongue out at the pompous crowd).
Oi, what do you think youre doing? Let go! Daisy tried to yank her arm free but couldnt break away and hurried after Mike.
They burst into the foyer just as the speeches reached climax and someone tapped the microphone for quiet.
Let go! I need to get back, Im supposed to take notesIve got work to do! Daisy protested, clutching her notepad, dropping her pen, bending to fetch itonly for Mike to scoop it up.
Oh, put that notebook away, Daisy! Ill send you all the reports, you can peruse them in your own time. Right now, you need to eat. But first, water. Youre pale and your pulse is thumping. He pressed her wrist and tutted. Air, food, and no more conferences for you!
Truth was, Daisy didnt feel great; her heart beat so hard it thumped in her temples.
No one had ever fussed over her like that before. Shed always been the carerfor her mother, her husband, her daughter. It felt normal, though tough. Sometimes she wished she could just be lifted up, be silly and carefree, drinking wine and laughing like they do in rom-coms, but had never really found the chance.
Mike gave her that chance.
She hardly realised how shed ended up around a table in a cosy bistro across the street, where a waiter brought them tall glasses of fresh, golden-orange juice, so dazzlingly bright it looked like the sun itself squeezed into glass.
Here. Drink up. And water, too. Right… What shall we eat? Mike pondered.
She must have caught his fancy. Daisy was pretty enough, delicate and slim. She could perhaps have had her pick of men, if not for the tired, hopeless look that stayed on her facethe weariness of her forties, a loveless marriage, boredom. You cant expect to look like an April rose when youre just clinging on.
But Mike liked her even like thata weary, tender Daisy.
I dont need anything. Ill catch my breath and get back to the conference, I feel better already, she squeaked.
Fair enough! Mike grinned. But firstsea bass and veg, a nice salad, and… Daisy, what would you like to drink?
He looked up from the menu, fresh as spring, his hair ruffled, smelling of tobacco and aftershave, strong and lively, looking right at Daisy.
She blushed, frowning.
She must be mad! A complete stranger had dragged her to lunch, fed her, called her Daisy, even smoothed the hair from her browan outrageous sort. And she melted anyway, gone limp all over.
Where Mikes fingers squeezed her, she felt heat and shivers flick down her back.
They had white wine, and Mike told tales of odd jobs as a lad, then working up North on sites, bouncing from one place to the next, and after that…
Well, Daisy, my mate George and I started a little businessnothing big, just building sheds and holiday homes, put a crew together, things took off. Everybody wants a cosy home, all mod cons, not traipsing out in the cold for the loo. We knew how to sort it. Eat up! Heres to you, Daisy! Honestly, when I first saw you, I thoughtThis girl needs a good meal! Fancy another course?
She shook her head, light-headed from the wine, the food, and the odd thrill of being cared for, simply because she was a girltired and skinny.
Home wasn’t like that. Daisy grew up alone most days with her mum. Her mother worked non-stop; she was gone at dawn, Daisy had breakfast by herself, dinner late, waiting for mum to come in, then reheated her food, washed up as her mum had a bath, and theyd collapse into bed after midnight.
At New Years, her mum, Mary, was back just before eleven. She worked in a corner shop, and the last hours before midnight were hectic.
Mary came in exhausted, pale. Daisy would get her dress ready, help with her hair for the party. Guests were always arrivingneighbours, friends, distant tipsy relatives, falling about the table while Daisy kept an eye on her mother, who nodded off after the first shot of vodka.
Mary only drank vodkasaid champagne was for show-offs. No, true love was for vodka!
Trouble was, her poor body gave out quickly, Mary would start snoring right at the table. Daisy would jab her elbow, Mary would jolt awake, blearily remember where she was, clink glasses, make a toast, laugh, but it was always a brittle sort of laughter. No chance of Daisy being a carefree child.
Daisy married young. Andrew was nearly ten years her senior, serious, educated, but never warm, not one for words. He simply installed Daisy into his life the way someone fits a gear into a machineuseful, proper, good at the chores, but little more.
Perhaps that was all Daisy needed. The romance, the passion, the fuss had all faded after the initial spark; what mattered was family, a home, no tired mother or grimy view from the window, no peeling wallpaper. There was her ownor rather Andrewsflat: kitchen, a big bathroom, a balcony, two rooms, a vast bookcase, and a husband. People envied Daisyshed landed on her feet, not stuck with a mother-in-law, a blessing indeed.
All her life, from birth until Mike, Daisy was just Daisy, or by her proper full name, Daisy Margaret.
Andrew, her mum, friendsthey always called her Daisy.
Then suddenly: Daisy. Wine, canapés… And someone cared what Daisy thought, what she wanted.
Andrew had never bothered about those things. Sure, he discussed big decisions with herbuying something, planning holidaysbut mostly hed already decided, her objections lost in the noise floating in through his beloved open window. Andrew insisted on fresh air, never mind the draft.
But then, when Mike took her to the bistro, he immediately made sure they were seated far from any breeze.
Thoughtful sort…
He asked things, she answered shyly. Yes, she had a husband. And a daughterCharlotte. Charlie was at university for foreign languages; Daisy had found her a fantastic tutor, so now her daughter was set to go off on exchange soon.
They hadnt exactly planned Charlotte, or prayed for her. They simply made her. Andrews mother said it was about time he became a father. Daisy was young, ought to be easy enough. Yet pregnancy was slow to come, they were told to keep at it.
Eventually, Daisy found out she was expecting. Andrew avoided her, didnt touch her bump, as they show in joyful, expectant families, didnt talk to the baby rolling around inside her. He found it all odd, even unsettling.
When its born, then Ill help raise it. Daisy, whens your appointment? I can drive you, hed grunt anytime she mentioned needing attention.
Hed drive her to the maternity, collected her when she left hospital with balloons and Cheers for the daughter. He tracked Charlottes weight and her own milk supply, bought the best food, got up at night to rock Charlie, took her for vaccinations. When the health visitor came the first time, Andrew checked shed thoroughly washed her hands, eyed up the white coat, warmed the stethoscope so it wouldn’t be chilly.
Tired? her friend Rachel would ask Daisy, pale with dark circles. Kids arent a walk in the park, eh? Does Andrew help out?
Daisy would shrug. He helps, she supposed. But its never enough…
Sometimes being the poor overworked one was a comfort of sorts. At least then people pitied her, and sometimes scolded Andrew for not looking after his Daisy.
But MikeMike pitied her too, but kindly, plying her with food, and Daisy would blush and protest.
Oh come off it, Daisy! frowned the generous Mike. Eat up! I wont let you leave till you do. Got it?
Daisy bit her lip, looked at her rescuer with sad eyes, and ate.
He walked her to the tube that day, Daisy excused herself from any more company, citing chores.
That evening, the full transcript of conference reports landed in her email.
To Daisy, from Michael! the note read.
She quickly shut her laptop, but Charlotte must have glimpsed something, snorted.
Silly codenames! scolded Daisy, Official documents, and they put nonsense at the top!
Charlotte wasnt really listening, headphones on, music blaring.
Daisy, Charlie, Im home! Time for dinner! Andrew called from the hallway.
He came in, untucked his shirt, down to trousers, then changed to shorts with bright green palm trees, flung open the balcony for a breath of air.
He smelled sour, of old sweat.
Im not showering every day, Daisy! I told you! My skin itches after, like Ive got eczema. Tomorrow, okay? Im shattered. Lets eat.
Dinner was silent, each lost in thought. Daisyabout Mike, his freshness, consideration…
He called again the next day at work.
Hello, Daisy! Hows it going? Have you eaten? Mikes voice danced through her phone, startling her so much she glanced around to check if her colleagues overheard. The speaker sounded deafening.
No… not yet. Loads to do, she mumbled. Daisy. Someones Daisy, soft and fragile… she felt goosebumps up her arms.
Drop everything, come down. Im in your cafédismal place, but a person has to eat. Come now, Im waiting!
Daisy muttered something foolish, asked the boss for a quick break, got in the liftface burning bright red, convinced everyone already guessed she, Daisy Margaret, was off to meet her lover.
Thats just what she called himloverin her mind. It felt thrilling, reckless.
Today, Mike was in jeans and a T-shirt, ruffled again, all vitality.
They drank coffee, Daisy shared bits from her childhood, Mike listened.
Daisy, youre beautiful, you know that? he interrupted out of nowhere. Lets get you something. A dress. Ive got friends at the boutiquestheyll sort you out! I want to see you in something lovely.
And he did. Not that instant, but later that evening, when he took her to the fancy shops, sat, grinning, while the salesgirls fussed over the bewildered Daisy.
He gazed at her hungrily, with a longing Andrew could never match.
Ive never had that before! Daisy whispered to her closest confidante, Rachel. Only in the movies. I never thought anyone could look at me that way. I felt like… a woman. Its awful, but I liked it.
What about Andrew? Rachel asked, a raised eyebrow after hearing all the details.
He doesnt know. He mustnt. I dont even know what to think! Please dont say a word to him, okay? And keep this dress at yours, in the bag. How could I explain it? Its outrageously expensive! Goodness, what now?
Rachel shrugged. Well see.
I dont know, Daisy… Youre making a mess of it. Sure, Andrews not romantic, but remember how he braved that rubbish village for real milk in winter? He works hard. Other blokes would lie about, drinking cheap lager; your Andrew is clever, respected. When you wanted a car, he got one, fixed the house uptakes you and Charlotte to the seaside every summer. Hes a good manpredictable, yes, but thats not bad. And whos Mike, eh? Wheres his money from?
No idea, and who cares! Rachel, living with Andrew is misery, you wouldnt know. He makes me ill, all right? You just envy me!
Rachel gave a little laughmaybe she was envious, but not of Mike, rather of Andrew…
Daisy began coming home late, sort of half-cooking dinner; she wouldnt even eat, just poked at a cold cup of tea.
Mum, whats going on? Ive asked five times for bread! Charlie would ask, rooting in the bread bin. Were out, you know! Honestly.
Daisy nodded, frowned, drifted back to her roomto dream.
Andrew and Charlie watched her with puzzled eyes.
Daisy could dream for hours, hands clammy with nerves.
Mike was gentle, a master kisser, teased her for being awkward, cared for her, always calling her Daisy, feeding her, bringing gifts Daisy had to stash with Rachel, even wiring her money now and then. Sometimes, in the quiet of the night, Mike sent messages; Daisy would sneak into the bathroom to read and reply until she cooled off and silenced her phone.
Andrew shifted in bed, threw a heavy arm across her and muttered something. Daisy replied faintly, holding her breath. Oh, it was a pity she had Andrew in her life… A pity shed missed so many years not knowing what it was to be Daisypretty, wanted, joyfula whole life wasted…
But now she had Mike. He was her happiness.
They met at Mikes flatbig, bright, floor-to-ceiling windows, no curtains, and the lights of Canary Wharf glowing outside. Her head spun from champagne and Mikes aftershave. The sheets were silky soft.
The world shattered into a thousand sparks, bursting in the sky, falling to the sheets like diamonds. Magic…
Back at home, life became suffocating. Daisy felt sure everyone knew about her and Mike; Charlie gave her side-eyes, Andrew looked sombre.
Daisy made excuses to stay out, slipping back only when everyone was asleep. Then she could sit alone, drink bitter instant coffee, and dream…
Daisy! Where are you? Ive got cabbageneed to shred it. Werent we going to do that? Andrews voice crackled through her mobile one evening, just as Mike swam gracefully by the pools edge. The air was coldthis was the famous lido, outdoors, a marvel of engineering.
Daisy had never been to the Lido before; today Mike had brought her, told her to put on her swimsuit, and now they were swimming, watching clouds of steam rise and drift in the chilly air. If you climbed up, you could see the winter lights across Hyde Park. But Daisy didnt careshe only had eyes for her gallant. At last, shed found love.
Cabbage? she stammered, wrapping herself in a towel. Leave it for nowIll be late. Rachel and I are at the Lido. I was told I need to strengthen my back. We took out a membership. Well do the cabbage tomorrow. Bye, sorryRachels calling.
She hurriedly cut the call, her heart thumping. Shed better warn Rachel, in case Andrew rang her next!
When Rachel answered, Daisy whispered about the Lido story with a nervous catch, then froze.
Daisy, I actually brought you some caraway seeds for the cabbage. I was at the market, so I thought Id pop in. Andrews already put the kettle on, Rachel replied calmly.
Daisy bit her lip, eyes darting for Mike. He was already on the high board, flexing for a dive; a pack of young women squealed, watching him, slender, laughing.
All right, darlings? One, two, three! Mike cried, leaping in, slicing the water cleanly, surfacing with a grin, waving to Daisy. Daisy, come over! The nights just begun!
The girls giggled, sizing up Daisy. And suddenly she felt ugly againordinary, stomach a little soft, thighs a bit flabby. She floundered in the water, more frog than swan, face fallen with suffering.
The new Daisies were already mucking about, trying to touch Mike as they played water polo.
He laughed, barely bothered when Daisy vanished. Work, family, cabbage… let her go!
Back home, the rooms were dark, only the kitchen light was on.
Andrew silently set down a frying pan of eggs for her.
Hungry after all that swimming? Eat. Want some sausage too? He poured her a huge mug of tea.
Daisy shook her head, avoiding his eyes, stabbed at her eggs, scared to meet his gaze. Did he know? What now? Why was he so calm?
Daisy… Andrew finally spoke, after a long silence. Rachel dropped some things offkept fussing, but I sent her off. This is your kitchen, not hers. She left these bags, he pointed under the table. Said theyre yoursbut are they? Did Rachel get mixed up?
Daisy slowly lifted the edge of the cloth, stared at the bags, shrugged.
Exactly, silly stuff! Andrew sounded relieved. Pour me some tea, will you? Or better yet, fetch the brandy. I fancy some tonight.
Daisy rushed to the pantry, then froze mid-movement.
Daisy, her husbands voice made her spin around. I said, Daisy, the crumbswipe the table, will you? Charlies always getting crumbs everywhere. Get a cloth and sort it. He looked at her heavily, then turned away.
They drank the brandy in silence, neither daring to look up.
Finally, Andrew left the room.
***
Rachel, hes gone! He got dressed, left his keys on the table. He just left, Rachel! Daisy sobbed, staring at her twisted face in the mirror, repulsed by the sight of Daisywho only three hours ago had been splashing in the Lido with Mike. Her hair still stank of chlorine; her back was aching. Rachel! How could he? Is that what proper men do? Hes just left usleft me and Charlie, just walked out!
Suddenly she was angry; she slammed her fist on the table.
Thats exactly what a proper bloke does, Daisy. Someone else might have beaten you senseless. But Andrew just walked outand from his own place. And you still have the cheek to complain? You know, I never did understand why things never clicked with you and Andrewmoney was fine, Charlies clever, Andrew doesnt drink. Quiet, yes, but better that than a blabbermouth dragging mates home. Isnt it, really? But oh, you needed romance and baby talk, did you? You never said a kind word to him either, never praised or thanked him. Menhonestly! They just want a bit of praise, then theyd move mountains for you. No, Daisy, Ive no comfort for you now. Sorry. Good night.
Daisy put down her phone, slumped, and wept softly…
Charlie had passed her exams and gone off to a friends in the country, leaving a note asking not to be disturbed.
***
Mike turned up about a week later, waiting for Daisy outside her building, emerging from the darkness.
All right, Daisy? he hissed, tucking his wind-burnt face into his leather collar. Missed me?
Daisy had rung him a few times, meaning to pour her heart out, but hed ignored her callsand now, here he was.
Mike… she replied in a dull voice. Why are you here?
Scanning for his car.
Im here for you. Time to pay your dues, Daisy! Mike drew her in.
What dues? What do you want? She was scared now, tried to pull her elbow free, but Mikes grip was iron.
I fed you, didnt I? Cheered you up? Oh, you bet. Now I need a favour, kitten. Give us some cash. Ive got problemsand youve your mums old flat, must be worth half a million. Let’s sell it. This place too. Come on, lets go inside and chat.
Daisy whimpered, struggling hopelessly toward her door, praying someone might cross their path. But the courtyard was empty.
Come on, Daisy, lets get inits freezing, Mike nudged her toward the entrance.
She started to cry, sinking onto the snowy step, when Mike, suddenly, toppled aside, groaning.
Above him stood Andrew, hair wild, face raw from the cold, fists clenched tight.
Get out! You hear me? Get lostbefore I break you to bits! he thundered, lunged at the fallen Mike, but Daisy grabbed Andrews arm, pulling him back.
Realising who it was, Mike stared, smirking as if to say little cuckold Andrewbut that grin was wiped away when Andrews fist thudded into his jaw.
Go! Dont let me catch you near Daisy again! Andrew bellowed, scooped up his knitted hat, wiped his nose on it, and turned to her. Lets get home. Its bloody freezing.
***
What was said between husband and wife that night, what grief and pain, only the moon at the window and the wind rustling the curtains could ever know. Two cups of untouched tea sat on the table, the old grandfather clock ticking slowly. And then, the world fell silent, just those twohusband and wifechoosing, for some reason, to keep going.
No one ever called Daisy Daisy again. If they had, shed just flinch and look away.
Mike never showed up in her life again. Hed misjudged Andrews resolve.
One day, overhearing Daisy on the bus talking about her mothers flat, her uncertainty, her loneliness, Mike had thought he might help herfix her flat, solve her loneliness. If he played it right, shed have handed over everything, after all, hed fed her, warmed her, made her feel important. But hed rushed itcircumstances forced his hand, George wanted his money backfast. Mike had gone for the jugular, demanded action from Daisy. It hadnt worked. But no problem: the world had more Daisiesunloved, longing, always sad. Mike would find them, cheer them up, and then collect his due.
For now, he had to move outthe luxury flat with real silk sheets and the city lights was gone. Still, Mike wasnt worried. If George didnt have other ideas, hed bounce back.
Looking back, I realise how easily kindness and thrill can become a snare for the lonely. Theres no shame in wanting to be loved or to be Daisy for a little whilebut the cost can be all too real, and in the end, theres rarely a second chance for lost trust. I learnt the hard way that no matter how dazzling another world looks, its your own life you have to facecrumbs and all.
