LIKE A BIRD TO A CALLER
Girls, when you get married, it should be only once. Stay with the person you love until your last breath. Dont spend your whole life searching endlessly for the perfect partner. Youll just end up with nothing but the core of an apple, picked over and unwanted.
A married man is off-limits. Dont even think of starting something with him, hoping itll just be a brief fling. Youll both lose yourselves in the messand happiness wont come to either of you.
I remember saying this to my friends when I turned twenty, echoing the wisdom my gran had drummed into my head. I looked up to my parents; they had stuck by each other for fifty years. They were my model, and I promised myself to find my happiness and guard it jealously.
My friends would laugh and say,
Oh, Alice, just wait till you fall for a married man. Lets see how easily you walk away then!
What I never told them was that my mother had had my older sister Julia out of wedlocksomething the whole village whispered about for years. Five years later, Mum and Dad married, then I came along. We eventually left the village behind, and I made up my mind then: never have children or get involved with anyone outside of a marriage.
But life has its own plans.
Julia and I never really saw eye to eye. She always thought Mum and Dad loved me more. There was a simmering rivalry about who was the favourite, which now seems rather silly.
I met Edward in a local club. He was in the Army, and I was working as a nurse. It was an immediate attraction, and we were married within a month, swept up in happiness. I was drawn to Edward as if by some invisible thread.
After he finished his officer training, we moved to his assigned post, miles away from home. Soon, the cracks began to showarguments, misunderstandings, distance. With Mum in another country, I had no one to talk to.
Our daughter, Lily, was born in the mid-90s, during uncertain times.
Edward left the Army and soon started drinking heavily. At first, I pitied and consoled him, always saying things would eventually get better.
He listened absently.
I know all that, Alice, but I just cant stop. Once Ive had a drink, nothing matters.
Then he began disappearing for days, sometimes weeks. Once, he came home after a month, dramatically dropping a briefcase stuffed with cash on the table.
Where did this come from? I asked, my suspicion rising.
What does it matter? Take it, spend it. Theres more where that came from, he replied, full of swagger.
I stashed the briefcase far out of sight, never touched a single pound from it.
Edward vanished again, this time for six months. When he returned, he looked a shadow of himself: thin, drawn, and almost haunted.
Alice, give me your gold jewellery. I owe money to some serious people, he said, eyes dark.
Im not giving up what my parents gave meno way!
Whats going on, Edward? Where have you been? Remember youve got a family, I shouted, finally snapping.
Dont yell! Its complicated Will you help me or not?
Terrified, I brought him the briefcase.
Take your bloody fortune. Lily and I will manage.
He rifled through the cash.
You didnt take any?
Not a single penny. Thats not my kind of money.
He sighed, Still not enough Ill sort something.
That night, he tried to make it up to me with passion and tenderness, and I forgave him, again and again, drawn in by the hope things could change.
The next morning, he packed his bag.
How long will you be gone, Edward? I asked, searching his face.
Dont know, Alice. Just wait for me. He kissed me and left.
And so, I waited. A year passed. Then another
At the hospital, one of the doctors, Daniel, started showing an interest in me. He was married, which made me hesitate. Besides, I was still marriedthough I hadnt seen Edward in more than two years. Not a card, not a letter, not a word.
Christmas approached; the whole place buzzed with cheerful chaos.
Suddenlya knock at the door. It was Edward, back at last.
I practically flew into his arms, kissing him madly.
At last! Where on earth have you been?
Lets not get into that Listen, Alice, we need to get divorcedquickly. Ive had a son, and I dont want him growing up without a father, Edward said, shifting awkwardly.
I felt my world collapse, but deep down, I knew the signs had been building up for years. I didnt even flinch.
Fine, Edward. As they say, You cant put the water back in the jug. Well sort out the paperwork after the holidays. At least you could see Lilyshes at her friends. If you wait, Ill bring her home. Shell be left without a father, too, I said, unable to hide the sting.
Sorry, I cant. Maybe next time Ill see her, Edward replied, leaving without a glance back.
But there never was a next time. Edward never saw Lily again. From that day, we became strangers.
Daniel soon wrapped me up in a whirlwind of affection. His marital status no longer mattered. I was starved for love, and let the rules slip away.
Daniel knew how to make a woman feel desired, and I fell completely for him. Our affair lasted three years, until he asked me to marry him.
No, Daniel. We cant build happiness on your wifes and daughters tears. Were not meant to be, I managed, fighting back the lump in my throat.
Despite the pain, I ended it, moving to a new hospitalout of sight, out of mind.
Then came William.
William was raising his son after his ex-wife found a new family, leaving the boy with him.
We met in my hospital, where he was a patient. William always had a joke, always had a way to make me smileand so, laughter brought us together.
His son, Thomas, was seven; my Lily, eight. Clearly, luck had finally smiled on us. We worked as a team, faced every challenge together, no secrets between us. I finally had the good fortune of a second, loving marriage, and I treasure William more than anything. Hes the light of my life. Weve been together thirty years now
Just recently, Edward rang my mother and confessed,
Ive never met another woman like Alice.
What life has taught me is this: true happiness is built on honesty, loyalty, and the courage to let go of what isnt meant for you. Only then do you make room for the love you truly deserve.












