LIKE A BIRD TO THE DECOY
Girls, marriage is meant to be once and for alla true union to the very last breath. To drift endlessly through life searching for a soulmate is a fools errand. Youll end up like a picked-over apple, with nothing left to offer. A married man is simply forbidden territory. Dont think for a moment you can dabble in an affair and walk away unscathed. That path leads straight to ruin for you both, and happiness will most certainly sidestep your door.
Such were the wise words passed down to me by my grandmother, and I clung to them wholeheartedly. My own parents have been together for fifty years, a living example I looked up to. I vowed, from my earliest days among my friends, to find my fate and guard it fiercelyfor nothing in life seemed more worthwhile. My friends, of course, would only chuckle:
Oh, dont be silly, Evelyn. Youll fall for a married man one day, and well see how quickly you change your tune
But I kept my mothers secret from them. Before she wed, she bore my older sister from a man whose name was never uttered at homea scandal that clung tightly to our village. I was born five years later, properly, into wedlock, after my father fell absolutely in love with my mother. They left our little village behind, hand in hand. Witnessing all this, I resolved never to have children out of wedlock nor entangle myself with married men.
But life had its own story in store for me
My relationship with my sister, Margaret, was never easy. She always seemed convinced our parents loved me morespoilt me, favoured me. A quiet rivalry simmered between us, each striving for a larger share of our parents lovea foolish contest, perhaps, but one neither of us could set aside.
I met Henry at the village hall dancehe, a young officer-in-training, and I, a nurse. Attraction was immediate, and in a month, we were wed. Happiness overflowedI followed Henry as a bird follows the lure, thinking it would last forever.
When Henry completed military training, we were posted far from home, to a quiet garrison town. It wasnt long before loneliness crept inthere was no one to confide in, with my mother an ocean away. Arguments sparked easily between us, misunderstandings piled up.
Our daughter, Annie, was born in those tumultuous ninetiesa time of uncertainty. Henry left the military and began frequenting the pubat first, I pitied him, tried to comfort him, believing things would get better.
He would listen half-heartedly, then say, Evelyn, I know I ought to stop, but after a few pints, nothing seems to matter anymore.
Later, Henry began vanishing for days or weeks with no word. Once, he returned after a month, placing a briefcase heaving with pounds upon the table.
And wheres this from? I asked, suspicion prickling at me.
What does it matter? he replied, proud as punch, Take it, spend it. Therell be more where that came from.
I hid that briefcase away, untouchedit felt cursed. Again, Henry disappeared. Months later, he returned gaunt, ragged, and his eyes empty as a winter sky.
Evelyn, take off your gold trinketsI owe some serious folk.
My parents gave me those keepsakesIll never give them up, no matter what! I cried. Where have you been, Henry? You have a family!
Quiet, woman! Things are tangled Youll help me, wont you? he said, moving towards me.
Scared, I fetched the briefcase from the cupboard. Heres your so-called fortuneAnnie and I will make do.
He snapped open the case. You havent touched it?
Not a penny. Thats not for us.
Still, it wont cover my debts, he sighed. No matter, Ill sort it somehow.
Afterwards, Henry pulled me closean untamed night. I loved him fiercely then, forgiving everything, longing for the man he once was.
In the morning, he packed to leave again. Will you be gone long? I asked, like a loyal dog.
I dont know, Evelyn. Wait for me, he said with a kiss, and then he was gone.
And so I waiteda year, then another.
At the hospital where I worked, a doctor took a shine to me. David was married, which made me hesitant, though not just for that reason. I was torn, hovering between earth and sky, as my own husband hadnt been seen in more than two years. From Henry, there was nothingno letters, no telegrams.
With Christmas drawing near, the world bustled with tangerines and holly, everyone merry but me.
Then, a knock at the doorit was Henry.
I threw myself into his arms, smothering him with kisses. At last, my love! Where have you been?
He gently pushed me away. Listen, Evelyn, we need to divorce. Ive a son now, and I dont want him growing up without a father.
There was only ash left where once burned my love. Yet, I felt nothing but resignation.
Very well, Henry. Its true what they saytheres no use crying over spilt milk. I wont hold you back. After the holidays, well make it official.
Dont you want to see Annie? Shes with a school friend. Ill fetch her if you wait. Your own daughter, growing up without a father I wanted my words to hurt.
Im in a hurry. Tell her goodbye for me, and with that, Henry leftnever to see Annie again.
Time passed. The doctor, David, sensing my loneliness, swept me up in a whirlwind. I cared nothing for conventions any longer. He was gentle, attentiveI couldnt resist his charms, and we had a three-year affair. Eventually, David asked me to marry him.
No, David. We cant build happiness on your wifes and daughters tears. Our paths are too different, I replied, choking on the words.
I managed to end that feverish folly, but transferred to another hospital, out of sight so I might be out of mind.
It was there I met Charlesa widower raising a young son, left behind by a wife whod remarried. We found each other through laughter, and fell into a love that was bottomless.
His son, Samuel, was seven; my Annie was eight. Fate seemed at last to smile on us, for everything fell into place. The children grew, troubles multiplied as families do, but Charles and I faced them together, with nothing hidden between us. I was lucky with my second husbandhe is my joy, my light. I treasure him more than anything in this world.
We have been wed for thirty years now.
Not so long ago, Henry rang my mother.
I never met another woman like EvelynHe was ill, she saidalone and wanting to see me and Annie both, begging forgiveness for the lost years. I listened to her words, calm and unmoved, the decades dulling all my old wounds. Annie was grown, with children of her own, and I was old enough to know some stories could not be rewritten, only accepted and laid to rest.
I agreed to meet Henry, more out of mercy than longing. He looked smaller than I remembered, fragile as a fallen bird. He clutched my hand as though he meant to study every line in my palm, searching for the life we never lived.
Im sorry, Evelyn, he whispered, voice thin as parchment. If I could go back
I squeezed his hand gently and shook my head. We each made our choices, Henry. I hope you find peace.
When I left his bedside, the air outside was bright, the sound of children shrieking in a playground drifting on the wind. I breathed in, standing taller, lighter. I called Annie, told her what she needed to hear, and returned home.
At the gate, Charles waitedhis arms opening for me, as steady as ever. I stepped into them, and felt the years settle gently behind me, each mistake and sorrow now folded into the tapestry of our life together. In his gaze, there was nothing of the past, only hope for what remained.
The lessons my grandmother gave me had led me by strict lines, but life had colored far outside them. Yet somehow, through heartbreak and unexpected love, I found everything she promisedhappiness, loyalty, a home, and a heart that could forgive.
I looked up to see Charles smiling, sunlight glinting in his hair, and thought, as I have every day since, that not all who follow a decoy are lost. Sometimes, it leads you home.
