LIFE, LIKE THE MOON: SOMETIMES FULL, SOMETIMES WANING
I used to think that our marriage was as unshakable and infinite as the universe itself. Sadly, I was wrong…
It all began in medical school, where I met my future wife. By our fifth year, Emily and I tied the knot. As a wedding gift, my mother-in-law handed us tickets for a holiday to Spain and, to everyones amazement, the keys to our new flat. That was only the beginning.
We moved right into a spacious three-bedroom flat, and both my in-laws were incredibly supportive. Thanks to their generosity, Emily and I travelled around Europe every year, exploring life and brimming with happiness. Emily became a GP, while I chose virology. We worked, healed, loved. Eventually, we were gifted with two boys: Daniel and Charles.
Looking back now, I realise those years were like a wide, flowing river. Without a doubt, I was basking in comfort and abundance throughout our ten years of marriage. Everything changed overnight.
One evening, the doorbell rang. I opened the door to see a pretty, though slightly anxious young woman on our doorstep.
Who are you here for, miss? I asked, curiously.
Are you James? I need to speak to you. May I come in? she stammered.
Go on, then. My interest was piqued.
It wasnt until she was inside that I noticed she was clearly pregnant.
James, Im Sophie. Im ashamed to say this, but Im in love with your wife. Emily loves me too. Were expecting a baby, she blurted out.
Hm, thats sudden. Is that all? My temper was rising.
Not quite, she replied, pulling out a small velvet box. Please, take this. It’s for you.
I opened it a gold ring nestled inside.
Whats this? You think you can buy Emily from me? Shes not for sale. Take it back, I said, slamming it shut, growing angrier.
Im so sorry! I know Ive wronged you. I dont know what to do, Sophie began to cry. My mum always said, Steal someones wife, and youll ruin your own life. But I cant live without Emily. Please, just accept the ring. Maybe Ill feel a bit better about it.
For a moment, I pitied her. But then, whos to pity me? This woman stole my happiness, and here I was feeling sorry for her. Gaining composure, I pressed the ring back into her hands and showed my rival the door. That was the moment my life began to unravel.
Soon after, my mother-in-law phoned to say Emily was leaving. She arrived herself and asked me to pack up her daughters things. I pointed to the wardrobe, still in disbelief. My mother-in-law methodically packed everything into a suitcase shed brought.
James, well remain family, you know, she offered, trying to comfort me. As for Emily and Sophie theyll end up together, come what may.
Six months later, Emily and Sophie had a daughter. News reached me later that Emily adopted Sophies girl from her first marriage. In all that time, Emily never visited our boys, only sending a few pounds through her mum barely enough to be called child support. This was the 1990s, and times were hard.
I ended up in hospital with a nervous breakdown. My sons, Daniel and Charles, stayed with their grandmother, who doted on them and spoiled them rotten. As soon as I was discharged, I rushed over to bring them home, but they outright refused.
Gran feeds us better and no one shouts or tells us off! was their only reason.
Frankly, I couldn’t argue. My mother-in-law, hugging her grandsons, said gently,
James, let the boys stay with us for a while. Youve got enough on your plate youll have to split the flat, and thats no easy task. Besides, you probably cant afford it on your own. A one-bedroom is enough for you, dont you think?
So, empty and defeated, I returned home. First, I lost my wife; now, my children were slipping away too.
I had to trade in the large flat for a cramped bedsit with peeling wallpaper, ancient plumbing, and creaky wooden floors. My sons continued living with their grandmother. Visits were allowed only on special occasions.
James, lets not upset the boys with your visits. Focus on building your own life now, said my mother-in-law.
The distance between my sons and me grew into a chasm. Our bond faded over time, and I sank deeper into depression. My grandmother used to say, Life is like the moon sometimes full, sometimes waning. That couldnt go on forever; otherwise, Id lose my mind. I contemplated doing something drastic or reckless. I was tired of playing by the rules while everyone trampled all over me. Still, Id graduated with honours for a reason.
Eventually, I was sent to a medical conference in France for work. There, I met a charming young doctor named John. To this day, Im not sure how we communicated, but somehow, we did. We had a whirlwind romance, and for ten days, I felt alive again.
When the conference ended, I came home. I didnt want to! Somehow, that brief, passionate affair restored me. My spark reignited. There were more brief flings and break-ups, but nothing serious. Just passing the time.
Once, my mother-in-law remarked, James, youre looking well! Like a man in springtime!
Still, I was alone. Then, my best friend Sarah was about to move to Greece for good. Sarah was single and childless, and before she left, she invited me over.
James, Im marrying a Greek. Im sick of our lot. I want to live like a proper woman, she wept.
Why the tears? Forty is just the start. Youre moving up in the world! I replied, confused.
James, my Alex knows nothing. I want you to meet him. Maybe you can cheer him up. In fact, take him! Hes my gift to you. She laughed, sweeping her arm dramatically.
And so, I took in her leftover fiancé.
Thats how Alex became my lawfully wedded spouse. He had one glaring flaw, though, that overshadowed all his good points: Alex was a hopeless drinker. Good looks, but battered by life. But love, as they say, is blind; sometimes the devil looks like a rose. I couldnt imagine life without this alcoholic. And so began my ordeal.
Rehab, addiction specialists, buckets of my tears nothing worked. I stood by him through it all, but Alex would say,
James, you want me to go sober, but I dont.
Still, the thought of separating never crossed my mind. Better a patchwork husband than bitter loneliness. For some reason, I decided to fight for my man, much like how Sophie fought for Emily. Seven years went by.
Eventually, Alex straightened himself out. He got a job as a driver at the local undertakers. The things he saw daily seemed to sober him up at last. Now, he came home thoughtful, subdued but most importantly, sober!
Sarah would visit from Greece, wide-eyed in astonishment.
Alexs off the drink? I dont believe it!
Laughing, Id say,
No refunds or exchanges!
My sons are men now, both just past thirty. Neither of thems married. Having seen all the trouble in their childhood, they dont seem eager to start families, though theyve tried. I doubt Ill have grandkids anytime soon.
And as for my ex-wife? Emilys second, ever-so-compassionate partner Sophie drank herself into oblivion. Their daughter is a single mum now. Emily went on to marry her nurse from the clinic. Before the wedding, she hesitantly asked our sons,
Do you think your father would want to try again?
My answer was sharp and swift Only when pigs fly! In other words: never.
What have I learned from all this? Life, just like the moon, has its bright and dark phases. Even when it seems youre stuck in shadow, the light eventually returns. Its all a question of waiting it out and never losing hope in your own dawn.
