I raised three boys. Anyone who’s ever had four men under one roof will know precisely what I’m on about. Honestly, I cant wrap my head around the idea of not having dinner or tea ready, or seeing everyones belongings scattered about like breadcrumbs for Hansel and Gretel. Im 52 now, and always believed a womans job is to create a home thats cosy and safe, a place her man wants to come back to. But Im not convinced my daughter-in-law shares this philosophy.
My eldest decided to get hitched two years ago, and lo and behold, nine months later, their daughter arrived. He was 28, his wife Emily was all of 20. Emily was still in university at the time, but the age gap didnt bother my son one bit.
While Emily was expecting, her mood could have given the weather a run for its moneytemperamental is putting it mildly. Poor lad was always being sent off to Tesco at odd hours. First, shes after apples in the morning, then an orange by lunchtime, then flowers mid-afternoon. My son never arguedhe just marched off and fetched whatever she fancied. We all thought, Surely, once the babys here things will settle down. Well, famous last words, werent they?
Emily gave birth, breastfed for two months, and that, apparently, was her lot. Then she told my son she was absolutely knackered from all the sleepless nights and needed a break. My boy, always a compassionate soul, asked if I could help out. Of course I said yeshow could I refuse?
So there I was, looking after my granddaughter, while Emily spent her days in beauty salons, and when she did return, not even a casserole or a cup of tea for my son, whod been grafting away all day. In the end, I spent the entire week with their little one. Emily got used to sleeping in till noon and basically living by her own schedule. She dumped everything on me.
After a month, I hit my limit and told them I needed to go back to my own home. Emily didnt take it well. I realised Emily wasnt quite ready for full independence, so I still popped round now and then. But each time, the chaos in their house put my teeth on edgemess everywhere and a fridge so empty it practically echoed.
The thought of not even boiling an egg for your own child! When I raised my three boys, that kind of irresponsibility would never have flown. My son always had a hot meal waiting. Last month, it was his birthday, so I popped over thinking, Emily must have cooked something special. Would you believe itshe ordered pizza and sushi.
Truly, I cant fathom my sons tolerance. Why on earth does he put up with it? I suspect its because they didnt live together before tying the knothe never saw what she was really like. Now, he keeps schtum and just carries on.
Im forever trying to think of ways for her to start behaving like a mum and a wife, but I do worry about upsetting my son. I know I should be supportive of his choices, but its nearly impossible to stand aside and watch without a word! Are all daughters-in-law like this?
What would you say to a woman in my shoes? Should I have some words with Emily? Or should I just keep out?
