I raised three boys. Anyone who has ever lived in a house with four men will surely understand what I mean. I simply cannot grasp how a home could possibly go without a prepared supper or dinner, or how belongings could be scattered about the house so carelessly. Now, at fifty-two, Ive always believed that a woman is the heart of the home, creating a place thats comfortable and secure for her husbanda refuge he can return to. I doubt my daughter-in-law shares that view.
Two years ago, my eldest son decided to get married, and nine months later, their daughter was born. He was twenty-eight at the time, and his wife, Emily, was just twenty. She was still at university, but even the eight-year age gap didnt frighten my son.
When Emily was expecting, she was terribly difficultconstantly sending my son rushing to the shops. One moment it was apples she needed, the next, oranges, then suddenly, shed want a bouquet of flowers. My son never argued; he simply obliged each whim. We thought things might settle down once the baby arrived, but nothing changed.
She gave birth, nursed the little one for two months, and that was that. Then she told my son she was exhausted by the sleepless nights and wanted a rest. My son, whos always been kind and considerate, asked me to help and stay with them for a while. Of course, I couldnt refuse.
While I took care of their daughter, Emily spent her days in beauty parlours, and when she finally returned home, she couldnt be bothered to fix my son a meal after his day at work. For a whole week, I was alone in the house with their little girl. Emily became accustomed to lying in bed until midday, living life strictly according to her own wishes. She left everythingliterally everythingto me.
After a month, I couldnt take it any longer and told them I needed to get back to my own home. Emily was visibly upset. I was well aware that she wasnt really independent yet, so from time to time, Id pop round to visit. But, truth be told, I didnt like what I sawa mess everywhere, nothing in the fridge.
She simply couldnt be bothered to even cook a meal for her own child. Raising three boys myself, that sort of irresponsibility was unthinkable. My son had always had a home-cooked meal. Last month, it was my sons birthday. I decided to visit, hoping Emily might make something nice. Instead, she ordered a takeawaypizza and sushi.
I just cant understand my sonwhy he puts up with it, why he chose such a wife. Is it because they never lived together before the wedding, so he never saw what she was truly like? Its as if hes finding it all very hard, but he says nothing. Not a word to his wife.
Now, Im racking my brain for some way to get her to act like a wife and a mother at last. I only worry that my son might take offence if I step in. I know I should support his choices. But how can I just stand by and watch? Are all daughters-in-law like this?
What would you do in my place? Should I have a word with my daughter-in-law?
