Michael was practically out the front door when the shrill ring of the phone echoed from the living room. He really didnt want to turn backhis mates were already waiting by the gate. A few minutes earlier, hed dropped his football, excitement running through him at the thought of the big match on the field behind the block of flats. He lingered by the door, silently hoping the phone would stop. Instead, it rang on and on, louder and more insistent by the second.
Who can it possibly be now? he muttered irritably, running back to the lounge, keeping his shoes on.
He picked up the receiver, already bracing himself for a chore from his mum or a round of grilling from his granhad he eaten after school, washed his hands, that sort of thing adults inexplicably obsessed over.
Hello, he grumbled down the line.
Hello! Michael? said a mans unfamiliar voice.
My parents arent in, he answered, about to hang upsure it was someone calling for Mum or Dadwhen the voice stopped him.
Michael, please, just listen. Dont put the phone down. Its really important. The voice faltered, then continued. You wont believe me, but please, do as I say. Grab a pen right now and jot down everything. Ive only got a moment. Im youbut from the future. I know it sounds mad, but please, just listen. Have you got a pen and paper?
Michael had been brought up to be polite, and besides, Gran always said it was best not to argue with madmen. Listen to them, but in the end, just do your own thing. And he was quite certain by now this man was off his rocker. Or winding him up. He and his mates pulled these kinds of pranks toocalled random numbers and said daft things like, Excuse me, do you have water? Fill up the bath, were bringing the elephant for a wash! It was a laugh. So Michael decided not to argue; best get it over with. If it was a joke, hed find out soon enough.
Ive got it, he said seriously, pen in hand. Do I get my own telepathophone in the future?
My wha? Never mind that now! the voice snapped, quickly recovering. Michael! I mean it, this isnt a joke. If you do what I say and write everything down, youll have your iPhoneand much more.
All right. Writing, Michael replied, glancing out the window and picking at his nose as he listened. His mates would probably get fed up waiting and run off.
Better not to argue. Get it over withespecially since this so-called voice from the future didnt have much time.
The voice began rattling off dates and years: Send some girl named Sally from the other form packing, stay well clear of Charles Ponzis latest scam, something about buying, then selling dollars, then somehow buying them again. Black Mondays, slot machines, casinos, bitcoin, propertyall sorts of baffling terms tumbled from the phone.
“Wrote it all down?” the voice finally checked.
All down, Michael replied.
Im counting on you. Treat this note like a treasure map. Dont show anyone and dont lose it, the mans voice said hopefully before the line cut off.
Michael put the phone down and dashed outside. That evening, when his parents came home from work, he remembered the call and told them about the man who claimed to be Michaelfrom the future.
Never talk to strangers, was Dads response. Especially not ones trying to talk you into buying dollars from the future. Tell them youre ringing the police and hang up.
Quite right, agreed Mum with a chuckle. Who needs dollars these days, anyway? What are we even meant to do with them?
***
Time passed and Michael soon forgot the strange conversation. School, friends, and childhood adventures took over, edging out black Mondays and bitcoin. Years of carefree learning flew by. In Year Eight, a girl named Alice transferred to their school, and Michael immediately liked her. Even though she was in a different form, nothing stopped him getting to know her. Cautious notes and a few walks home after school gradually turned into something more.
After finishing his Army service, Michael married Alice. The cheery optimism of the 90s, filled with shiny opportunities, quickly faded into the cold aftertaste of cheap alcopops. Every time they scraped through one crisis, another loomed. He once meant to buy Alice a new pair of boots, even believing the ads promises, but in the end there wasnt enough even for basic slippers. Their cramped mortgage flat pressed in on them, both in space and with the monthly repayments
***
Now, Michael sat on a park bench. He pulled a bottle of ale from a bag and took a careful sip, then lit a cigarette. His gaze wandered restlessly across passers-by and the world around him, never settling. He didnt notice the elderly man in glasses and a big leather briefcase who sat down beside him.
Mind if I sit? the stranger asked politely, already lowering himself onto the bench.
Michael glanced up, nodded, and took another sip from his bottle.
Bit grey today, isnt it? the old man mused aloud, not really directing it at Michael.
Like life itself, Michael replied.
Dont you find it odd, the old man said, turning slightly, that its only as we get older the days start to turn grey? When I think back to childhood, there was always sunshine. Spring brought streams to float paper boats, summers smelt of mown grass and cool parks, autumns were golden, and winter crunched beneath your shoes. Not a single grey day in sight.
In childhood, there are no worries, Michael remarked sensibly. Its the worries that cloud everything later. I never thought itd end up like this, back when I was a boy.
Before he knew it, Michael found himself telling the elderly man about all the hopes hed once hadand all the ways life hadnt worked out. How every time he tried to get ahead, hed been fleeced, whether by some new investment hustle, slot machines on every high street corner, or the endless promises of instant fortune that left him stuck with long-term bank repayments. How Alice finally left him with nothing, running off to Brighton with her lover, and now he only got by on odd jobs, living hand-to-mouth.
But Ive got a tip now, Michael said with a grin. I watched this online courseThink Like a Millionaire. Their guy reckons I should invest in cryptofive hundred percent return a week. Cant lose. He drew on his cigarette, wistful. Turns out I just hadnt done it right, thats all.
My dear fellow, said the old man, raising his glasses. If you dont mind my asking, what did you train as? What do you do for a living?
Work? Thats for mugs, Michael scoffed, swallowing another mouthful. Its about making money. If only I could know in advance what to invest in. Thatd be it.
They sat in silence for a moment. Michael dreamed about fabulous crypto riches; the old man thought his private thoughts.
So, said the old man at last, you believe if you had prior knowledge, life would sort itself?
Of course, Michael agreed.
Youre an interesting chap, said the man, looking at him. Let me try out my invention on you. With that, he opened his briefcase and brought out an old-fashioned rotary dial phone. You see, theres a theory that time isnt linearor cyclical. It all happens at once.
I dont get it, Michael admitted.
Well, the old man said, taking off his glasses and rubbing his forehead, theres no past, no futureeverything just happens now. So technically, youre living every moment of your life at once. Past, present, and future.
Still dont get it, Michael said, a little impatiently.
No matter, said the man, turning the phone towards him. With this, you can call yourself in the past. The settings arent perfectyou can only call exactly forty years back. Ive tried it myself, he added, noticing Michaels doubtful look. Didnt dare say muchjust checked the year. Wonder what I thought in the past, hearing someone ring up and ask, What year is it? But I cant figure itdoes it become a repeating loop or does it change things? What does it do to the future?
Michael naturally wondered if the old chap was a nutter. On the other hand, why not give it a go? There were plenty of odd things you could find online, and those people made good money and seemed quite content. Theyd unlocked some secret, and even if they charged for itwell, fair play. All those who said it was a scam, they just hadnt the nerve to try. They were content to moan and go back to tightening bolts at the factory. Not Michael.
Go on then! he said, brightening up.
You remember your childhood phone number? asked the old man. Thing is, you need to be home at this exact time forty years ago in order to pick up the call.
Michael said the number sprang instantly to mind, and if it was forty years ago, hed have just got back from school and be home. He gingerly took the old phone and lifted the receiver, readying himself to dial those seven digits.
You wont have much time, warned the man. Drains a lot of juicebatterys only good for a minute or two. And just to say, Im not responsible for the consequences.
Ill be quick, Michael nodded, and dialled. Long beeps. Dont sweat it, Dad. If youre telling the truth, well check right now and sort out the present.
Just as he was about to give up, certain no-one would be there to answer in the past, the phone clicked.
Hello? barked an impatient young boys voice.
Hello! Michael? Michael nearly dropped the phone, palms sweaty from nerves and disbelief.
My parents arent in, replied his childhood self, but Michael barreled on, eager before the boy could hang up.
Michael, please, just listen. Dont hang up, its really important, Michael said, tongue-tied at first, but pushing through. You wont believe me, but please, just write down everything I say. I havent much time. Im youbut from the future. I know it sounds barmy, but do as I say. Look, have you got pen and paper?
Ive got them, came the reply. Do I get my own telepathy phone in the future?
Never mind that! snapped Michael, remembering he was talking to a kideven if it was himself. Look, Im not kidding. If you listen and write down everything, youll get your iPhone and much more.
Alright. Go on, then, came the trusting voice.
Michael poured out everything he could remember. How after his service in the 93 hed landed a good job, but spent every penny with Alice. Michael! Listen! Ignore Alice! Dont even talk to her. Shes not worth it. Trust me, youll have dozens better. Use your whole pay packet to buy dollars!
He told him about Black Monday in 94what day to sell his dollars, then buy again, about avoiding fruit machines and casinos. “Put your money in them, with your mates, and youll earn a small fortune for decades. Steer clear of Ponzi schemes. Buy property while its cheap. In 98, come August, convert it all to dollars again. In 2009, bung a bit into bitcoin. Everything he could squeeze into two minutes, he did. Sometimes he paused, checking that his younger self was taking notes. Hed like to have double-checked, but the man opposite was signalling his time was almost up.
All down? Michael asked his younger self.
All down, replied the boy.
Im counting on you. Keep that note safe like its a treasure map. Dont show it to anyonedont lose it, Michael tried to say more, but the line went dead.
***
Of course, young Michael hadnt written a word. Hed just waited for the stranger to finish his nonsense, then hung up and ran outside. If it was a prank, it wasnt particularly clever or funny.
Better tell Mum and Dad about it later, just in case, Michael thought, sprinting onto the sunlit football pitch.
