Julia lay sprawled on the worn sofa, tears running freely down her cheeks. It had been only a few months since her husband confesseda confession that shattered her world. He admitted, with a mixture of pity and awkwardness, that there was another woman, and she was expecting his child.
Julia, Im sorry, but we have been together two years without any children. Its been long enough for me to start doubting myself, David stammered. But now well, shes pregnant, and in a couple of months, the baby will be here. Im sorry.
Julia hadnt bothered to argue, nor did she press him for details, such as why hed waited until just two months before the other childs birthof all times, right before Christmasto disappear from her life. So there she was, still dressed from the previous evening, drained of every ounce of strength, weeping her sorrow onto the sofa.
As she sobbed, her mind wandered to a distant Christmas from her childhooda memory that glittered at the edge of her grief.
Julia was only ten that year, a bright, curious girl in Year Five. After school, she and her friends loved to duck into the local charity shopan old, crooked place filled with unexpected treasures. The girls cared little for clothing or shoes, but they delighted in trinkets, toys, and costume jewellery.
That snowy December afternoon, Julia spotted an enchanting music box on the glass shelf. It was sky blue with delicate gold filigree. She stood glued to the spot, utterly enchanted by the little chest. The shopkeeper, a kindly older gentleman, noticed her fascination and opened the box. As he did so, a melody danced through the shop, and a small ballerina, dressed in a pristine white tutu, emerged on her velvet stage, twirling gracefully to the tune. There was even a hidden drawer, the perfect size for precious little things.
Her friends, Alice and Emily, hurried to her side, gasping in wonder.
Thats lovely! Oh, just look at it! Alice exclaimed, eyes wide.
How much is it? she asked without a moments hesitation.
The shopkeeper smiled, quoting what was, to them, a kings ransomfive pounds.
Never in my life will I save up that much, Julia thought with a pang. In those days, children were given only a few pence for lunchenough to buy a hot meal at school. Asking for more was unthinkable. If she pretended to be going to the cinema, perhaps she could ask her mother for fifty pence, but five pounds might as well have been five hundred.
Her father was away for work and wouldn’t return until next week. Had he been home, perhaps he would have bought it, but her mother would never see sense in it. Julia could almost hear her mothers sharp voice: What a silly idea! Five pounds for a ballerina in a box? I could buy three whole chickens for that. Youd be eating well for a week.
No, there was no use asking her mother. It had to wait until her father returned. In the meantime, Julia visited the charity shop every day after school, simply to watch the ballerina spin. The shopkeeper, growing fond of her, would wind up the box as soon as he spotted her, letting the music fill the shop once again.
Each visit, Julia made new discoveriesthere was a small scuff on one corner, a chipped piece of gold, a missing ballet slipper on the figurine, and the tiniest mark on her skirt. Julia examined every detail and loved it all the more for its imperfections.
When her father finally came home, she all but dragged him to the shop. The old man behind the counter shook his head in sympathy. Sorry, love. It was sold just a few hours ago. You just missed it. Julias tears sprang forth, unchecked.
Oh sweetheart, dont cry, her father murmured. Shall we get you a treat instead? Ill buy you a big chocolate cake. Your favourite, truffle, with those little chocolate mushrooms on top.
Julia nodded and let her father lead her away, but her heart remained with the little ballerina. She could not let go of her longing.
The next morning at school, Emily came striding in, holding the precious music box. Julias heart broke all over again when she realised it was her friend who now possessed the treasure. Emily opened the lid for all to hear, and her classmates fell silent as the melody played.
My gran bought it for me, Emily beamed. Shes staying with us for Christmas and I begged her to come by the shop yesterday. Id been eyeing it all week.
And me! Alice chimed in, her voice tinged with disappointment.
Julia couldnt contain herself any longer. She burst into tears and fled the classroom. Peter Ramsey, a cheeky boy notorious for his mischief, called after her, Julia, why are you crying? She snapped, Nothing! and dashed away, ignoring the whispers that followed her.
Everyone knew Peter liked Juliathe girls envied her, but she paid him no mind.
Standing by the frosted window to cool her burning face, Julia heard Peters voice behind her, gentle for once. Ill find you one just like it, Julia. Dont cry. And where will you find one? Julia scoffed. Silly boy. She darted away, regretting her harsh words almost at once.
That evening, she spent half an hour shivering on the school grounds, lost in her grief, and of course, came down with a fierce cold. Peter heard she was ill and arrived that same day.
I havent found the ballerina yet, he reported, but I will. I promise. Julia could only shake her head. Where will you? Its foreignyou can see on the bottom, Made in Germany. Youll never find another. Germany, is it? Peter replied. Then Ill go there if I have to. Despite herself, Julia laughed a little.
That winter marked the beginning of a true friendship. They walked to school together, shared secrets, and by the time they reached Year 8, their friendship had grown into something more. It was Peter who first dared to kiss her. She did not resist. From then on, they were devoted to one another, sharing all the sweet promises of first love.
But as fate would have it, after their final year at school, Peter was called up for National Service, posted to Germany of all places. He wrote Julia many letters, sometimes joking that he was still searching for her ballerina.
Six months before he was due to return, Julia met David. He charmed her at once, serenading her with a made-up song at a friend’s gathering, strumming his guitar as though it were meant for her alone. Her heart melted. Two months later, they were married.
Peter came back to England and, learning Julia was wed, took a position on a trawler bound for Norway. He came back to town rarely. They never saw each other again.
Now, as Julia sat up on her sofa, she wiped her tears, feeling their taste was not only for her husbands departure, but for the happiness she once might have had with Peter. Where was he now? Was he married? She wondered.
The calendar read December 31st. She braced herself for another lonely New Years Eve, while her friends gathered with their families. She could hardly impose on them. Instead, she visited the market and the grocers, picking up a few treats to soften the achecheese, fruit, and a little bottle of sherry.
As she entered her block of flats, arms full of groceries, a man dressed as Father Christmas emerged from the lift. The sight was so absurd, so unexpected in her desolation, that fresh tears sprang to her eyes. Why the tears, my girl? he asked in a hearty, exaggerated old-mans voice. Its Christmas! Surely you can manage a smile? Here, take this. He handed her a sturdy box from his sack and vanished into the winter darkness before she could utter a word.
The box had a pleasant weight to it. Julia carried it to the kitchen and carefully unwrapped the paper. Inside was a beautiful new music boxsky blue, traced with golden leaves, just as she remembered. She opened the lid, and the familiar melody began. The ballerina whirled from her velvet stagethis time with both ballet slippers. Julia pulled open the secret drawerand there, gleaming, was a small, gold ring.
Heart pounding, she rushed to the window. Outside in the lamplight, she saw Father Christmas, unmistakably Peter, lingering in the snow. Julia, still in her slippers, raced downstairs. They met in the cold, laughing and crying at once, and she pressed herself to the warmth of his red coat.
Silly boy, she whispered, tears of joy streaming down her face. You really did find it, after all.
Peter laughed, drawing her close. I told you I would. Found her in Germany, just as I promised.He reached into his pocket, shy and sheepish as ever. With trembling hands, he slipped the gold ring onto Julias finger. Not a proposaljust a promise kept, he said quietly. His eyes brimmed with histories unspoken, the pain of years apart, and all the hope that remained.
The bells from St. Marys tolled midnight, echoing down the snowy streets. Julia found herself laughingfree, unguarded joy that startled her own ears. She realized she hadnt felt so light in years. Around them the flakes spun and danced, the world remade in silver and blue, and Peter pulled her close, their breaths mingling in the frosted air, their shadows tangled on the white ground.
Inside, the music box played on: a second chance turning slowly on the spindle of fate. Julia squeezed Peters hand, heart wide open to this unlooked-for magic. For the first time in forever, she understoodloss didnt erase old dreams; they sometimes waited just out of sight, ready to surprise you when the winter thawed.
Hand in hand, they walked up the steps. The night felt endless, bright with promise, and somewhere between laughter and tears, Julia let herself believe in beginnings again.












