Ive honestly had enough of you turning up every single weekend!
Maybe you know this particular sort of person whos utterly convinced the world revolves around them and simply doesnt care that you might have your own plans. My brother-in-law and his whole family descend on us every weekend. His lot includes him, his wife, their two kids, and his wifes brother. The entire crowd pitches up at ours for a sleepover. Not once do these relatives bother to ask if were free or if its convenient for us to put them up.
This circus has been going on for nearly a year, and Im completely done with it. Dont get me wrong, I genuinely like having guests, but only within reason. Now, its at the point where I cant even deal with my own affairs or just rest quietly after a long week at work.
Instead of relaxing, I spend my weekends chained to the oven, making conversation, dealing with bedding, and washing mountains of sheets after they leave. Every single time, I wonder whether they realise how inappropriate it is to show up, uninvited, as if its their righteven if we are family. Maybe I wouldnt be this wound up if they only dropped in occasionally, but three times a month is definitely pushing it.
Neither I nor my husband would ever dream of imposing on our relatives like this; perhaps we should start visiting them a few times to give them a taste of their own medicine. Ive asked my husband to have a word, but he claims he doesnt know how to say it without hurting their feelings. Or maybe, he just cant be bothered. When he refused to back me up, I decided to take matters into my own hands.
First, I stopped cooking at the weekends. That meant the guests had to finish off whatever leftovers were hanging about, and if the food ran out, well, they were more than welcome to fend for themselves. I could happily go without.
One afternoon, they all gathered expectantly around the kitchen table, waiting for lunch, giving me the odd look one by one. I told them straightthere wasnt anything to eat, so if they were hungry, theyd need to sort something out themselves. No one replied, and no one cooked; instead, they just drank their tea and shuffled off to bed.
I also gave up cleaning the whole flat before each of their visits. One day, my brother-in-laws wife complained that her daughters white socks had somehow turned grey. I told her I simply hadnt found the time to mop the floors lately, but if she was that bothered about the state of my floors, she could find the bucket and mop in the bathroom. She never brought it up again.
Perhaps most importantly, I stopped putting myself last. I refused to rearrange my plans because of their arrivals. At the end of the day, Im entitled to my own life, and I intend to spend time with people I actually like. When the family turned up, Id join them for an hour, excuse myself and say I had things to do. If my husband wanted to entertain them, he was welcome. On the days I had no plans, Id suddenly start decluttering or deep-cleaning so Id spend as little time with them as possible.
Then, after one of these weekends, my brother-in-law said to my husband, It seems our time heres up, is it? Well, thats a turn-up for the books! Since then, our dear visitors only come by after checking in with us first, never for an overnight, and much less often. Have you ever dealt with anything like this, and if so, what did you do to sort it out?
