My best friends son is a wonderful young man. He did so well in school, graduated with honours, got himself a respectable job and worked tirelessly. Now hes a successful businessman, with a lovely house in the countryside, a smart flat in central London I swear to you, hes an absolute marvel.
But theres always a but, isnt there? He married a girl. And not just any girl a truly dreadful one. She came from a thoroughly dysfunctional family, is bitter, jealous, and cruel. Its not just the opinion of my friend who has watched her only son fall into this womans claws its simply the truth.
First, this harpy got rid of all his friends. What do you need them for? All they do is come over to drink, they borrow money from you cant you see theyre just using you? shed say. And on and on.
Then she set about getting rid of his relatives. His family is large and incredibly close they always celebrated together, with calls and visits all the time. A marvellous, solid family.
From the start, the wife would sigh or roll her eyes at any invitation from his side of the family. Shed claim she had something urgent when they were invited around, or suddenly develop splitting migraines if anyone was meant to visit them.
Before long, the only one who occasionally came by was his mother simply because she longed to see her granddaughter, and of course, missed her son terribly.
Every visit would end in the same miserable fashion, with the wife calmly, icily remarking, Ive told you a thousand times, and yet it just doesnt stick, does it dont bring us those cheap gifts, we only use things of quality. You show up with tat.
The son would stand beside her, nodding: Mum, for goodness sake.
Yesterday I saw my friend, along with another old mate. She was in floods of tears, hands shaking as she showed us a text message. Her daughter-in-law had sent it, saying that she and her husband had decided she shouldnt come round anymore.
Through her sobs, she told me her son had called to say, Mum, you completely unsettle my wife. When you visit, it takes her days to recover.
But thats not the real point, is it? I sat and sighed and commiserated poor woman, what awful luck, such a dreadful daughter-in-law.
Then, out of nowhere, our other friend said, Whats it got to do with her? You raised your son to be heartless and cruel.
I bristled and insisted she didnt understand what was he supposed to do, with a wife like that? He did it for his family, for the greater good, and besides, you should have seen the lovely card he made his mum in Year Six for Mothering Sunday. Weve still got it somewhere a drawing of a heart and a daffodil, all his own work. If it werent for that wife…
But she just shrugged and said, if a mans not inclined to be nasty, no wife can force him.
And then she left.
At that moment, it hit me like someone lifted a veil from my eyes.
All my life, Id believed this idea that a good man can simply fall into the clutches of a bad wife.
Now I see it.
Someone is cruel and small-minded because he chooses to be not because a terrible wife made it so.
