Nothing could get any worse, Daniel shouted, his voice echoing through the cramped flat. Enough, Amelia! I cant live with you in the same house any longer. Youve put yourself in this mess. Whos stopping you from going out? Im not locking you in. Go for a walkwhos getting in your way?
Amelia sat by the large bay window in the living room, watching the grey November park outside. From the street it looked like a pictureperfect life: a loving husband, a baby on the way, a spacious terraced house bought on a mortgage. She was twentyfive, and to anyone else she seemed the image of a successful young woman, yet inside a heavy, clinging melancholy had taken root.
The apathy had blossomed after her only shot at a professional breakthrough collapsed. Three years earlier, after moving from Manchester to London, Amelia had landed a twomonth stint at a counselling centre. The promised salary turned into a complete fiasco, and ever since her confidence had slipped away. Interviews arranged through acquaintances yielded nothing, and a growing dread of people became her constant companion.
The irony was that, with a psychology degree in hand, Amelia felt like her most hopeless case. An education that should have opened doors now served only as a bitter reminder of how far she was from the competence she once imagined.
Loneliness in the big house pressed especially hard. Daniel, a few years older, worked long hours. When Amelia finally tried to share her burden, he brushed her off with irritation.
Stop it, love! Youre bringing me down, he said dryly. She tried not to remind him of her existence, especially since he provided for them financially. Money was never a problem, but occasional remarks slipped through in small ways.
You never appreciate what I do, he could have said, even though Amelia spent almost nothing on herself. The Turner familyhis parentsadded their own strain. His mother had taken a dislike to Amelia from the first meeting. Amelia, not being particularly gregarious, stayed out of the endless gossip, which only seemed to further irritate his mother.
She recalled the weddingplanning chaos and thought, She thinks were frauds and swindlers. Mrs. Turner insisted on a prenuptial agreement, demanding proof of the couples seriousness. Her parents brought over £250a huge sum for a family from a small Yorkshire villagebut it didnt change the attitude. Constant backhanded comments and forced politeness at family gatherings wore Amelia down to the bone.
Her relationship with her own father had been a disaster since childhood. Having to beg him for money even for food left a deep scar. Recently he cut her off, declaring on the phone that she wasnt his daughter and that she should ask Daniel for anything she needed.
Stop begging! he snapped. Ask your husband! Youre married, Im not obligated to support you! Amelia felt too ashamed to ask Daniel. After that call she stopped all contact, yet the humiliation lingered.
The pregnancy offered a brief respite: Mrs. Turner quieted down for a while. But Daniel began coming home even later, returning only at dusk almost every night.
I need to get out more, Amelia told herself, but the fear of strangers paralyzed her. Leaving the flat felt like a heroic actDaniel refused to accompany her, always claiming he was too busy.
The problem was worsened by Daniels younger sister, Lucy, whom Amelia had helped gain a place at a London university. After receiving Amelias help, Lucy suddenly turned rude, snapping at her, calling her incompetent, or simply ignoring her as if Amelia didnt exist.
She talks to me like Im a dog, Amelias mother complained. What have I ever done wrong? Ive only ever helped.
One evening, when Daniel returned from work, Amelia gathered her courage and sat opposite him in the lounge.
I need to talk about whats happening between us, she began quietly. Daniel put down his phone.
What about, Amelia? Ive had a hard day. If youre going to start whining again, just stop. Im exhausted.
Daniel, I cant live like this any longer. I feel completely useless. Daniels face hardened.
Youre talking nonsense. You have everything: a house, me, a baby on the way. Whats wrong? he shouted.
Outwardly, maybe. Inside I dont feel part of any of it. Im scared to leave the house, terrified of people, unable to work. Its not laziness; its a real problem.
Youre a psychologist, arent you? Daniel sneered, his smirk cutting deep. A cobbler without shoes, perhaps. Youve boxed yourself into this corner of fear. Pull yourself out and live like a normal person.
Its not fear, its alienation, Amelia replied, voice shaking. Since I failed at work Ive lost my bearings. And your mother her attitude is unbearable.
Dont bring your mother into this. She can be sharp, I know that. But shes an older woman and she cares about me. Daniel tried to defuse the tension.
Amelia managed a sad smile. She cares that well deceive her? That were not what she expected? She still doesnt believe in our marriage, I feel it. She thinks Im some kind of fraud.
Youre dramatizing. Find something to do. Visit a friend, take a walk in the park, tidy the flat! I come home to a mess every night! Daniel snapped.
I have no friends here. Im terrified to go out alone! And you havent helped at all when you said I bring you negative emotions. Do you think that gives me strength? Daniel, I need support yours.
Im tired of your constant complaints! I work to provide for you, and you just moan
Im not asking you to provide everything! I need your supportattention, care, even a bit of sympathy. I feel like Im beneath a footstep, and you make it worse.
Enough! Daniel exploded. Youre acting like an ungrateful wife. Tears welled in Amelias eyes, but she held them back.
I dont feel like your wife; I feel like a servant in this home, ruining the picture of happiness. Your sister snaps at me, your mother weaves schemes, and you come back saying I bring you negativity.
Maybe youre provoking them yourself, Daniel muttered before walking away to the bedroom. Amelia stayed in the lounge, realizing that trying to pour out her soul only reinforced the wall between them. The humiliation from her father, the relentless criticism from her motherinlaw, and the collapse of her career had all fused into a single, suffocating knot.
The next morning she made a decision. She couldnt change her motherinlaw or her father, but she could change how she responded. She could shut down, retreat into a shell, and cut off all contact with the world. She couldnt do thatnot with a child on the way. For the sake of her baby she had to turn things around.
Amelia opened her laptop and, for the first time in months, logged into a social network. Among her contacts were former classmates who might be able to help.
Hi, Kate. I need help. Im completely lost, she typed to an old university friend who now ran a private practice.
Kate replied quickly, suggesting a video call. When they spoke, Amelia felt, for the first time in a long while, truly heardwithout judgment or an expectation of gratitude.
You cant help yourself if you stay isolated, Amelia. Your pregnancy is stressful, and your husband hes not a therapist; he simply doesnt know how to support you, Kate said.
How do I get out of this fear of the world? I cant work, I cant even run to the shopjust the thought of stepping outside makes me tremble
Well start small. Tell me how you feel each day, plain and honest. I wont abandon you, Kate promised.
Amelia began regular online sessions with Kate, exploring not only the childhood wounds left by her father but also her current anxieties. The fear didnt vanish overnight, but she worked hard to keep it at bay. She finally managed a calm conversation with Daniel about the future, this time without casting blame.
Im starting to work remotely. Its both therapy and a job for me. I wont ask for money; Ill earn my own, she told him.
What kind of work? Daniel asked.
A crisis centre is hiring operators. Ill talk to women in difficult situations. By listening to them, Ill help themand myself, Amelia explained.
Daniel shrugged. Well, you are a psychologist. Give it a go. It cant get any worse, can it?
Under Kates guidance, Amelia slowly rebuilt her life. The remote job gave her purpose; she finally felt needed. Over time she hopes to regain the confidence she once had. Most importantly, she is determined that her mental state never harms her child. She knows she is battling depression, but now she no longer doubts it.
Through persistence, honesty, and the willingness to ask for help, Amelia learned that the hardest walls to break are the ones we build inside ourselves. By reaching out, she discovered that even the deepest gloom can be lightened when we let others in. The true lesson is simple: when we stop shouldering every burden alone and accept support, we find the strength to move forward and create a brighter futurefor ourselves and those we love.
