My 60-year-old husband is living a double life. Is this normal?
I never imagined my family life would end up as such a nightmare. I recently discovered that my husband has been cheating on me for 15 years. He’s not just having an affair—he’s living a double life with another family, including a child on the side. This truth hit me like a cold hurricane, freezing everything inside me. I’m at a loss, unsure of where to turn or what to do. I threw him out, yet he crawls back on his knees, pleading for forgiveness. My mind is a mess, my heart is shattered, and I can’t find peace. I was 28 when I married him in our small town near Oxford.
He’s two years older than me. Our love has endured through heaven and hell—we’ve faced poverty, arguments, and hardships together. No matter what storms came our way, we held onto each other like a lifeline. There were times when we didn’t have enough to eat, but we pulled through. We had children, and life began to improve, as if the sun had broken through the clouds. In the early 2000s, things started looking up. My husband started his own business—a small chain of shops that began to bring in a steady income. He kept everything under control, trusting no one with the business to avoid any mistakes. I stayed out of his work, not even knowing the names of the shop assistants. It turned out he found his second life among them.
One of these assistants, young and lively, worked for him for a few years before going on maternity leave. Yes, she gave him a son—15 years ago. All those years I lived in blind ignorance while he divided his time between me and her. He was 46 when he became a father for the second time and she was only 33. That’s when his “night fishing trips,” “business trips,” and other tales began. He even brought home fish so I wouldn’t suspect anything was amiss. While supposedly traveling abroad for goods, he spent time with her and their son. How could I be so blind? How could I not see through his deceit?
I had no reason to doubt him. Over the years, he never gave me a single cause to question his loyalty. He seemed caring, loving, always there—or so I thought. The worst part is that some of our friends knew all along. They stayed silent, fearing to open my eyes. They believed he would come to his senses, leave her, and return to me fully. How wrong they were.
After New Year’s, I resigned from my job. Why did I need it when his business supported us completely? But soon, the shops started closing—issues with paperwork, he said. He became withdrawn, spending days at home, restless like a caged animal. I couldn’t understand it; with our savings, we could live worry-free for years! Then he went away “for business” and left his phone behind. It kept ringing, and when I saw a man’s name on the display, I answered—to say he’d call back. But a woman’s voice came through:
“Darling, when will you be back? We’ve been waiting.”
The world fell apart. I trembled and asked, “Who are you? What are you to my husband?” She calmly replied:
“Let Jack explain it all. He’s been meaning to.”
When he returned, completely drunk, I already knew what I would hear. He spilled everything: for 15 years he’d been living between two families. He told me it was my fault—I had started to care more about my health and less about him. He’d wanted some excitement with that shop assistant, but she got pregnant. After their son was born, he got confused, not knowing whom to choose, and decided not to choose at all—living a double life. It turned out he secretly opened another shop, and all the money from it went to them. My pain didn’t matter to him.
Now he’s kneeling before me, swearing he loves me, promising to break it off with her. But he doesn’t want to abandon his son—says he can’t betray the child. And I can’t live like this. Every look, every word from him will now be poison to me. I will suspect him with every step, every breath. This wound is too deep to heal. I see only one way out—divorce. He’s destroyed everything we built, and I don’t believe it’s possible to mend it.
Jack begs for a chance, but how can I? How can I live with someone who lied to my face for 15 years? I look at him and see a stranger. What do you think? Is there even a slight hope to save our marriage? Or am I right, and is it time for me to break free from this hell before it drags me under completely? I’m at a crossroads, and I’m terrified. I need your advice…
