Button? Oh, I called her Holly. Shed been running wild around here all morningcould see straight away she was lost. Then she curled up at my feet for warmth. So, I bundled her into the car so the poor thing wouldn’t freeze, the man smiled
Emma, honestly, how can anyone have your luck? How many times did I say James wasnt right for you? my mother scolded, as I stood before her, head down.
At thirty-seven, I felt no older than a schoolgirl being told off for a failed exam. I felt so bitter and woundeddisappointed with myself, my failed marriage, and most of all for my little girl, Lucy. Now, with Christmas Eve around the corner, wed been left without the head of the family.
Im leaving you, James muttered carelessly that evening, barely looking up. I didnt quite register what he meant.
Leaving for where? I asked, barely thinking, setting a bowl of piping hot stew down for him.
Honestly, Em, you never get it. No idea whats important. How have I put up with this for all these years? James rolled his eyes in mock tragedy.
Before I even had a chance to reply, he started rambling:
I cant do this anymore! And your dog never stops yapping. The childs always unwell. Theres no spark here, Emma. Have you seen yourself lately? Who are you even anymore? he finished with a huff.
I tried to see my reflection in the old glass cabinet, but my vision was too blurred from tears. I just stood in the kitchen, crying and alone.
James couldnt stand tears. He shot a sad look at the stew, left the table, and headed off to pack
Little Button, sensing trouble, started circling my legs, whining and trying to comfort me.
At least Ill finally get some peace without that blasted barking, James declared as he appeared in the hall, bag slung over his shoulder.
But James, what about Lucy? I whispered, imagining the heartbreak of our five-year-old as she slept peacefully in her room.
Shes your problem. Youre her mother, arent you? he said, before leaving, Buttons whimpers fading as he shut the door
I spent all night sitting in the kitchen, hugging Button close. Shed lick my face, trying to support me, as if she understood something awful had happened.
For days, I just couldnt bring myself to tell Mum. Shed call, asking how we were, but Id rush her off, insisting everything was fine before switching off my phone.
Found a proper job yet? Watch that James of yoursif he ups and leaves, how will you manage the bills? she said when she popped round.
At last, I broke down and told her everythinghow the interviews never called back, and that James had gone days ago.
Mum tutted and shook her head; she wasnt all that surprised.
It was bound to happen. Five years together, a child, and he never even proposed marriage, she huffed.
She pitied me and her granddaughter, but mostly seemed cross.
So whats your plan now? she prodded.
Ill sort it out. I can get work as a teaching assistant at Lucys nursery, I replied, resigned.
On a teaching assistants wage? And you still have to feed that mutt, too, Mum summarised, never a fan of animals, especially little Button, who Id found shivering on the street.
She fell silent, seeing that I was trying hard not to cry.
All right, enough sobbing. Ill help out. I can watch Lucy when you need, she tried to reassure me
Another week slipped by.
I finally started the nursery job and went in each day with Lucy hand-in-hand. She was delighted.
Mummy, can Button come to work with us as a helper? Granny always complains about walking her. She could help you with the plates and guard us during quiet time, Lucy grinned.
I laughed and hugged her. But her next question always tightened my chest:
Mummy, is Daddy coming home for Christmas? Do you think hell be here?
I couldnt bring myself to tell Lucy the truth. I made something up about Daddys important work trip, and rang James trying to arrange a visit, but he always had an excuse:
Emma, let me get on with my own life. Tell Lucy Im a secret agent off on a top mission. Ill be back someday. By the way, have you seen my tie? I need it for New Year. hed sigh and hang up.
Id sit for ages, just staring into space, wondering how wed get through Christmas this year. How could I explain this to Lucy?
Then, quite out of nowhere, Mum and Lucy were heading back from the GPLucy had picked up a cold that was clearing up. Suddenly, round the street corner came James.
Daddy! Youre back! Lucy shouted gleefully, running up to him.
James froze, tried to smile, and quietly explained things had changedhe and Mummy wouldnt be living together anymore. Then he hurried off.
Maybe Ill drop by sometime, if I can, he said as he left.
Lucys little face closed off, and she whispered:
Please, dont come round again.
That night, she came down with a fever. Two days later, the doctor arrived.
Lucy didnt want to talk, or eat. And she showed no sign of wanting to get better.
Most likely stress, with everything at home, the doctor shrugged after hearing the details.
I blamed myself aloud to Mum:
I should have told Lucy straight away. Shes a bright girl, shed have understood, I said, but she only shook her head
Then came another shock. Mum took Button out for a walk, but in her rush left the lead behind, and Button, affronted by a sharp word, turned tail and bolted in the opposite direction.
Oh, so thats how it is! Suit yourselfsee how you like freezing out here. Youll come running back soon enough, Mum muttered, eager to get back in and give Lucy her medicine.
But after hearing Button was lost, Lucy locked herself away, refusing food and water.
Ill eat when Button comes back, she said, turning to face the wall.
This is your doing, Em. Youve spoiled her; shes out of control. I told you! Mum started.
You could have just kept an eye on Button, Mum, instead of harping at me, I snapped, surprising even myself.
I do my best for you, you know! Mum sulked, left, and didnt come back
Once again, I was alone. That night, I wandered the streets near home as Lucy finally slept. I clung to hope that Button would somehow come home, but eventually went inside, frozen, unable to sleep soundly.
Lucy woke up early:
Mummy, I had a dream about a Christmas tree! We decorated it and found Button! she said, eyes bright.
I smiled sadly. A tiny artificial tree sat in the living room. It was nearly Christmas, and wed done our best to make it feel special.
But Lucy was upset, insisting we needed a big real tree:
Then Button will come home. Just like in my dream! she wailed.
Buying a real tree simply wasnt possible. I rang Mum, but she refused to visit.
Honestly, you care more about that dog than your own mother! Think on that, she said and hung up.
With no one to turn to, I focused on getting through the weekend.
By evening, everything was ready for Christmas, but Lucy broke down in tears:
Theres still no tree, Mummy, and Button isnt coming back nor is Daddy
I stroked her hair and fought back my own tears. I asked our lovely neighbour, Mrs. Jenkins, to watch Lucy for an hour, then dashed out the door
The icy air stung my cheeks as snowflakes danced in the streetlights. People hurried by, smiling and clutching parcels, but I saw no oneI was just searching, calling softly:
Where could you have gone, love? as I walked familiar roads again and again.
I found myself at the end of a nearly empty Christmas tree lot. The chap running it, a burly man in a thick coat, was shuffling about amongst the last few trees.
After a tree, are you? Only a couple left. I can knock a bit off the price for you, he said briskly, clearly hoping to get home.
His familys probably waiting wifes cooked a proper dinner, children peeking from the window’ I thought.
Just then, a beaming young couple picked one of the trees.
So? You interested? Last one here Ill help you carry it home, he offered.
I met his eyes, despairing. I hadnt brought any money, and even if I had, not enough for a tree that size.
I started to leave, but then spotted a bundle of branches left in the back of a truck.
Um, could I take some of those branches? If you dont need them please? I asked softly.
He glanced from me to the scrappy heap and sighed.
Course you can. Let me give you a hand, he said, pulling out an armful for me.
I thanked him, feeling a need to explain myself:
You see, my little girls ill shes dreaming of a tree, her dogs run off everythings just gone so wrong, it doesnt feel like Christmas at all
He listened, quietly. I sensed he was dealing with heartache himselfhed mentioned a break-up. Maybe thats why he was alone on Christmas, too.
A man came by and asked after the remaining tree.
Sorry, mate, its already promised. Try next door, they might still have one, the seller waved him off.
Then, turning to me:
Let me help you carry it home, he smiled, his earlier gruffness gone.
But I havent got any money I did tell you, I stammered.
I know, he nodded gently.
Something magical happened then. The sort of thing that feels possible only when Christmas is near.
He opened the lorry doorand there, curled up on the passenger seat, was Button, asleep and wrapped up in a woolly jumper. She blinked awake, not quite sure what was happening.
How did you end up with Button? I gasped, barely holding back tears.
Button? I called her Holly. She was dashing round here all day, clearly lost then cuddled up at my feet. I popped her in the car so she wouldnt perish in the cold, poor dear, the man grinned.
His name was Peter. He loved animals and got on well with children. And soon enough, our house grew warm in every sensea home so full of comfort and kindness, it felt like none Id ever known.
Perhaps it was Christmas magic that brought two lonely souls together. Perhaps thats just what fate had in mind for us.
No one knows for certain, but one thing was clear: our new family was truly happy. And now and then, even Button would answer to Holly.
I’ve learned that even when everything falls apart, kindness and hope can come from where you least expect. All you have to do is leave the door open for a little Christmas magic.
