Impossible to Completely Forget: Every Evening, Prokhor’s Long Commute Home Through the London Underground and Buses Reminded Him of His Past—Two Years After a Quiet Separation from His Wife, Encountering His Lost First Love, Mary Anne, Now a Renowned Herbal Healer from Their Countryside Schooldays, Reawakens Memories and Sets Him on a Journey Back to His Roots and Heart

Its strange how some memories persist. Every evening after work, Id find myself back on the train, then a bus, before finally arriving home. The commute was over an hour both ways, and my car sat idle more often than notLondon traffic in the mornings and evenings is so hopeless that the Tubes my best bet.

Its been about two years now since my marriage ended. Ellen and I parted ways quietly; neither of us wanted any drama, and Ive never been one for arguments. Our daughter, Harriet, was seventeen at the time and stayed with her mother. Id noticed Ellen changing long before thatmore on edge, disappearing without explanation, coming home late and blaming it on seeing friends.

One evening, as I asked her, Why are you out so late? Surely most wives are home by now.

She shot back, Thats not my style. Those housebound wives are dull as dishwater. Im sociable and clever and cant stand sitting at home. And Im no country bumpkin like you.

So why did you marry me if thats how you see me? I asked.

She shrugged, Picked the lesser of two evils, I suppose, and left it at that.

Eventually, Ellen filed for divorce, kicked me out, and I had to find my own place. Ive settled into it now. Havent given marriage a second shot yet, even though I keep half an eye out.

So, there I was, on the Tube like always, scrolling through my phone while the train clattered on. I wasted no timecaught up on news, read a few jokes, watched short clips. And then suddenly, something stopped me cold. An advert caught my eye: Traditional Herbal Remedies Mary, Local Healer.

I stared harder. Maryit was her. My first love, if you want to call it that. Unrequited and hopeless, but unforgettable all the same. I remembered her so vividlyMary Atwood from our class, odd but beautiful.

I was so distracted, I nearly missed my stop. I dashed out, skipped the bus, and walked home, carried by a strange energy. I let myself in, tossed my coat on a chair, and sat in the corridor, mesmerised by my phones glow. Jotted down her number before my phone flashed low battery.

Plugging the phone in, I forced myself to fix a quick dinner, but couldnt manage much more than poking at the food. Sat on the sofa instead, and let my memory unfurl.

From primary school, Mary Atwood always stood outquiet, proper, with a thick plait tumbling down her back and a skirt longer than anyone else’s. Our village was tight-knit, but no one seemed to know much about her. She lived with her grandparents in a charming house on the edge of the woodsone of those with wooden trim and stained glass, almost like something from a fairy tale.

When I first saw her, I was smittenchildishly so, but I thought it serious then. Everything about Mary was different. She wore a scarf over her head outside, always carried this unique embroidered satchel, handmade it turned out.

Instead of the usual Hello, shed say, Wishing you good health, as if she stepped out of a storybook. Never rowdy, never loud, gentle and polite.

Once, Mary didnt show up for lessons. Some of us decided to check on her after school; I went along. Just past the bend, her house looked magicalbut outside were mourners. Her grandmother had died. Mary stood quietly, dabbing her tears, her grandfather spent and silent beside her. After the service, we were invited in for tea and sandwiches.

The memory lingeredmy first funeral, and how Mary appeared in school a couple of days later. We all grew, the girls blossoming, competing over makeup and outfits. Only Mary remained untouched by fads, upright and fresh-faced, with a delicate blush.

Boys began chasing girls, and I tried too, finally working up the nerve near the end of Year Eleven. Mary, can I walk you home from school?

She looked at me, somber, and whispered, Im spoken for, Tom. Its our family custom.

I was disappointed and confused about this custom. Later, I learnt her grandparents were old believers and her parents had died, so theyd raised her.

Mary excelled academically; no one was surprised. She wore no jewellery, never bothered with the gossip other girls whispered behind her back. She stayed dignified.

With every passing year, she became more radiantby sixth form, she was graceful and lovely. The lads admired her but never teased or mocked.

After school, we scattered. I moved to London for university, only hearing that Mary married the man chosen for her and settled in a far-off village. She kept livestock, did chores, raised a son. None of us saw her again.

So shes a healer now, I thought, scanning the advert. Amazing. And even more beautiful.

Sleep didnt come easily. The next morning, I stumbled through my routinebreakfast, then off to workmy past tugging at me, Marys image hovering.

First loves really do carve up the heart. They never quite let go.

The days blurred by. I couldnt help myself and messaged her.

Hello, Mary.

Wishing you good health, she repliedsome things never change. How can I help you? Any worries?

Its Tom. Your old classmate. Sat next to you at school. Spotted your advert online and thought Id say hello.

I remember you, Tom. You were always the brightest of the boys.

I saw your numbercan I call?

Of course. Go ahead.

That evening, after work, I dialled. We caught upliving situations, families.

Im in London, I said, working. You?

I came back to my old home, the one you know. Returned after my husband dieda bear in the forest Grandfathers gone too.

Im sorry, Mary. I didnt know.

Its alright, Tom; it was long ago. Life happens. And you? Calling as a herbalist client or just for a chat? I do offer advice

Just felt like talking. No herbs needed, just saw your photo and all the memories came flooding back. Ive not been home in years. My mum passed ages ago.

We reminisced, named classmates, then said goodbye. I fell back into my routine, but within a week, I called her again, unable to shake the longing.

Hello, Mary.

Wishing you good health, Tom. Missed me or feeling ill?

Missed you, honestly. Would you mind if I came to see you? Id like to visit. I barely whispered it, heart thumping.

Come along, she said, unexpectedly. Whenever you can.

My annual leave starts next week! I blurted, grateful.

Perfect! You know the address, she replied, sounding happy. I swear I could hear a smile.

All week, I preparedpondered what gifts to bring Mary, unsure if shed changed. A week later, I set out, driving six hours back to my roots. I love long drives through the countryside.

My old village caught me by surprise after turning off the main road. So many changesnew houses, a working factory, busy high street, shops and cafes. I stopped outside a grocery to look around.

Blimey, I expected this place to be faded, but its thriving! I said aloud.

An elderly chap overheard as he passed, Its not a village anymore, sonwere a market town now! Got the status years back; looks like you havent been around for some time?

Not for ages, I replied.

Thats thanks to our town councilgood leadership, and its paid off.

Mary was waiting in her front gardenI rang when I was near. Soon, I saw her waving, heart pounding so hard I felt it in my throat. No one ever knew shed had quiet feelings for me all those years. Had I not reached out, shed have carried the secret to her grave.

Our reunion was joyful. We talked for hours in the gazebo behind her old, charming houseit had aged, but felt as welcoming as ever.

Mary, Ive come on account of something serious, I said, nerves and hope tangled.

She met my gaze, a little tense. Go on, what is it?

Ive loved you all my life. Will you ever love me back? I asked, voice steady for once.

Mary jumped up and hugged me tight, tears glinting. Tom, Ive loved you too, since we were children.

I spent my holiday with her, and before leaving promised, Ill sort things at work, switch to remote, and move back for good. Born here, meant to stayno place Id rather be. I laughed, completely certain.

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Impossible to Completely Forget: Every Evening, Prokhor’s Long Commute Home Through the London Underground and Buses Reminded Him of His Past—Two Years After a Quiet Separation from His Wife, Encountering His Lost First Love, Mary Anne, Now a Renowned Herbal Healer from Their Countryside Schooldays, Reawakens Memories and Sets Him on a Journey Back to His Roots and Heart