Im twenty-nine years old. Perhaps Im the most naive woman in the world, because up until recently, I genuinely believed that everything in my family was going smoothly. It turns out I was wrong in who I chose My husband turned out to be a traitor and a selfish man. Even now, I can hardly believe he did this to me.
Weve known each other for ten years and have been married for six. His name is James. Hes always been incredibly caring and supportive, providing for me and our children. We have two children: a boy and a girl. With my help, James managed to start his own business, and it brought in a nice income.
I was working as a sales assistant, and recently, I launched my own online clothing shop. So, when my daughter is at nursery and my son is napping, I work and earn my own money.
My weight has always hovered around eight and a half stone. After I had my second baby, I put on just over three stone. At first, I hoped looking after two kids would help me get back in shape. But things are rarely as easy as they appear, and the weight didnt shift. I set my mind to losing it: I ate healthily, exercised, drank plenty of water, and gave up bread and cakes. But nothing changed, and that really got me down. I started feeling quite insecure.
After the second baby, I stopped liking what I saw in the mirror. I no longer felt feminine or attractive. And James changed before my very eyes. He stopped kissing and hugging melet alone anything else. I cant even remember the last time we truly had a conversation. Everything we spoke about was limited to our daily routine and family matters.
Ill admit, before the children, I felt much more confident and attractive. Now, I barely want to catch my own reflection. I know our relationship has suffered because of it. So I decided to do something about it. One day, I thought Id surprise my husband at work and bring him lunch. As I neared his office door, I overheard him say:
Dont worry, darling, Ill come see you after work. I told my wife Im snowed under with work. She hasnt a clue you even exist!
I couldnt bring myself to go in. I just turned and left.
He doesnt seem to understandI only gained weight because I gave birth to our children. He isnt perfect himself; hes put on weight too, but he only notices my flaws.
And then I wondereddoes my husband really take me for a fool?
I found I couldnt face telling James Id heard every word. What should I do? File for divorce? But what about the childrenhow would they cope without their dad? Or should I pretend nothing happened? I dont think I could bear that.
For now, Ive decided to focus on looking after myself. I joined a gym. First, Ill show my husband exactly what hes missingthen Ill decide what to do next.
Life has a way of teaching us that our worth isnt measured by the shape of our bodies or the choices of others. Real happiness will come from respecting myself and learning to value who I amfrom the inside out.
