Im twenty-nine years old. Sometimes I feel like the most naïve woman in all of England, because until recently, I truly believed my family was happy. Turns out I was wrong about everything My husband betrayed me and proved just how selfish he really is. To this day, I cant wrap my head around what he did to me.
Weve known each other for a decade, married for six of those years. His name is William; he always seemed so considerate, a doting father who provided well for me and our children. We have two: a son and a daughter. With my support, William managed to open his own business. It flourished and brought in a decent income.
I worked as a sales assistant, and lately I launched my own online shop selling clothes. Nowadays, while my daughters at nursery and my son is napping, I work and earn my own money.
My weight always hovered around fifty-four kilos, but after my second child, I gained nearly twenty more. At first, I told myself that chasing after two little ones would help me shed the weight. But it wasnt that simple; not everything is as easy as it appears. I set my mind on losing it: eating properly, keeping up with exercise, drinking loads of water, giving up white bread and cakes. But the scales refused to budge, and it wore me down. I started to feel truly insecure about myself.
After giving birth the second time, I stopped liking the woman in the mirror. I didnt feel feminine or attractive any longer. I watched as William changed right before my eyes. He stopped giving me those warm kisses and hugs. That sort of intimacy became a distant memory. I couldnt even recall the last time wed had a real conversation. Every talk revolved strictly around the bare essentials of family life.
Ill admit: before the children, I felt far more confident and attractive. Now, sometimes I cant even bear my own reflection. I can see that our relationships fallen apart because of it. So, I decided to patch things up. One day, hoping to surprise my husband, I brought him lunch at work. As I reached his office door, I overheard him speaking:
Darling, dont worry. Ill come round to yours after work. Ive told my wife Im swamped with paperworkshe has no idea you even exist!
I couldnt go in. I simply turned on my heel and walked out.
Does he forget? I gained weight because I brought our children into the world. Hes not exactly in rugby form himself, but he only seems to notice my faults. Hes no Adonis these days either.
I find myself questioningdoes my husband really take me for a fool as well?
I couldnt bring myself to confront William about what Id heard. What am I supposed to do? File for divorce? But then, what about the kids? How would they cope without their father? Or do I pretend nothing happened? I just dont know if I have the strength to go on like this.
For now, Ive decided to put myself first. I signed up for a gym membership. First Ill show my husband exactly what hes about to lose and then, well see what happens.
