Im twenty-nine years old. Perhaps Im one of the most naïve men in England, because until recently, I truly believed that everything in my family was just fine. But I was mistaken in my choices My wife turned out to be selfish and unfaithful. Even now, I struggle to accept what shes done to me.
Weve known each other for ten years; weve been married for six. Her name is Emilyshes always seemed thoughtful and caring, making sure both the children and I were looked after. We have two children: a son and a daughter. With my help, Emily managed to start her own business. That venture brought in a decent income.
I worked as a sales assistant, and only recently did I open my own online shop selling clothing. So, when our daughter is at nursery and our son is napping, I work and earn my own money.
I used to weigh around twelve stone. After our second child was born, I gained over three stone. At first, I hoped that running around after two young kids would help me lose some weight. But things arent that simple, are they? I set myself a goal and tried to get back in shapeI focused on eating better, exercised, drank loads of water, and cut back on bread and cakes. But my weight wouldnt budge, and it really got me down. I started to feel terribly self-conscious.
After our second was born, I just stopped feeling good about myself. I didnt feel like a man anymore, or at all attractive. And I noticed Emily changing before my eyes. She stopped showing any affectionno more hugs or kisses. I cant even remember when we last really talked about anything meaningful; all our conversations are about the daily routine, the children, the house.
Ill admit it, before the kids, I did feel more confident and attractive. Now, even I feel awkward looking at myself in the mirror. Its clear to me that our relationship suffered because of it. So, I made up my mind to fix things. One day, I decided to surprise my wife. I thought Id bring her lunch at her office. When I reached her door, I overheard her speaking:
Love, dont worry, Ill come to you after work. I told my husband Ive got tons to do. He doesnt even know you exist!
I didnt go in. I just turned around and left.
She doesnt seem to realiseI gained weight because I was raising our kids, both hers too. Shes hardly perfect herself, but she only seems to notice my flaws. Shes put on weight as well.
It made me wonderdoes my wife really think Im just daft?
I couldnt bring myself to tell Emily what Id heard. What am I supposed to do? File for divorce? And what about the childrenhow would they feel without their mum living with them? Or should I just pretend nothings happened? I dont know how much longer I can keep this up.
For now, Ive decided just to focus on myself. I joined a gym. First, Ill show my wife exactly what shes lostthen well just have to see what happens next.
