I’m not a nanny or a maid.
I’m 62 years old, live in Manchester, and recently faced a situation that broke my heart. My daughter, Gemma, and her husband, James, decided I should devote my life to looking after their daughter, my granddaughter Emily. I’ve always tried to be a good grandmother, but now my patience has run out. I refused to be a free babysitter, and it caused an uproar. I’m not a nanny or a maid, and I have a right to my own life too!
When Gemma had Emily, I rushed to help however I could. I babysat, took her for walks, fed her, washed her clothes—anything to give my daughter a bit of rest. I know how hard it is to be a new mum, and I wanted to support my family. But over time, my help started being taken for granted. Gemma and James began acting as if I were their personal nanny. They signed up for the gym, went to evening classes, met up with friends, and dropped Emily off at my place with a casual, “Mind her for a bit, we’ve got things to do.” They never cared if I had plans of my own. I’m retired, for heaven’s sake—I’ve earned the right to rest and enjoy my own little pleasures!
Gemma would call me midday and announce I had to pick Emily up from nursery because she had a work do, and James was off fishing. I’d be furious, but I’d still go—I couldn’t just leave her there! I love Emily, but this situation was suffocating me. I felt used, and no one cared about my time or what I wanted.
Then came the final straw. Gemma rang, excited, saying she and James were off to Spain for two weeks. I was happy at first, imagining Emily enjoying the beach. But then I learned they’d decided to leave her with me—without even asking! They just dropped it on me like it was my duty to fit around their whims. I saw red. I couldn’t stay silent any longer and told Gemma I wouldn’t be their babysitter. They have a child; they need to plan their lives around that. Want to travel? Take Emily with you or figure something else out!
I asked why they’d made this decision without consulting me. Gemma’s reply stunned me: “You’re retired, it’s not like you’ve got anything better to do.” It felt like a slap in the face. I told her I had my own plans—a trip to the Lake District with my friend, finally getting some proper rest. They could take Emily along or sort something else, but I wasn’t their servant!
Our talk ended in a row. Gemma called me a terrible grandmother, and I barely held back tears. She doesn’t understand how much it hurts to hear that after all I’ve done for them. I love my granddaughter, but I can’t sacrifice my whole life for their convenience. I’m not a nanny or a maid—I’m a woman who deserves happiness too. Now I’m at a crossroads: stand my ground or give in to keep the peace. But one thing’s certain—this can’t go on.
