I’m hurting. I am in great pain. Although I have heard of dreams being fulfilled, it has never been a reality. Everything quickly changed when we were ready to welcome our princess. Everything went well up to 40 weeks and two days into my pregnancy. Everything changed suddenly, however.
What happened to my baby? I became severely preeclamptic Monday morning (something I had never experienced in the last 40 weeks). My urine also contained protein. The doctor asked me to do an ultrasound. The ultrasound showed that the baby’s blood flow was not sufficient. They had to control my blood pressure first so that I didn’t convulse.
As the baby struggled, it took me several hours to stabilize her. The situation got worse when she tightened her rope around my neck. She ate the meconium that she had passed to me, which caused her to swell, her cord and blood to darken, and her placenta also to shrink.
She was not fatigued when she was taken out. It took less than 18 hours for everything to happen. The pressure was too much for her to bear. She didn’t respond to the attempts of medics to revive her.
It hurts to see my ugly scar without my baby. After being pregnant for nearly 40 weeks, I am the only one in my ward who has not had a baby. It hurts so bad it is painful.
I wanted to weep, but my stomach and scar still bothered me. I was also not in the best physical condition. Once I feel better, I will let it out. I require it. Although I have many things on my mind, I must be strong. I can’t afford to lose it. But I am hurt.
I begged the doctors to let me see her. They agreed. My infant was present, her eyes shut. She weighed in at 3.9 kilograms, was full-figured, and looked very attractive. Her body was perfectly formed and deformed. Her feet looked amazing, and her nails and fingers were well-maintained.
She would be a success. I try to conceal the pain in my heart. My breasts are full but my baby isn’t here to nurse. But when will it be? Let my thoughts flow.
