I’m 89 years old. Someone just tried to scam me on the phone. But they didn’t know I used to be an engineer.
Its a regular Tuesday morning and Im enjoying a cup of peppermint tea while working through a sudoku puzzle. Im 93 years old now, and my mind is still as sharp as it was back in the 60s when I was programming and designing systems.
The phone rings.
Mrs. Winthrop? comes a slick voice from the other end. Were calling regarding some irregularities with your account. Theres been some suspicious activity.
Ah, yes.
Another one.
Oh dear, how alarming, I say, putting on my best quavering old lady voice. What should I do, young man?
We just need you to confirm your bank card number for us.
Of course, of course let me just find my glasses I pause for a moment. Actually, why dont you read out the last four digits you have, and Ill confirm if theyre right? Just so I know youre genuine.
Theres an awkward silence.
Thats not how this works, maam. We need the entire number.
I see, I sigh. Just one thing does the line youre calling from use standard VoIP protocol, or do you have end-to-end encryption?
Another pause.
Maam, you just need to
The reason I ask, I continue smoothly, is that while were speaking, Ive already traced your IP address. Interesting seems youre calling from an internet café. For forty years, I designed security systems. Im a systems engineer, you know. You pick up a few things.
Er maam
And another curious thing, I say, Ive just activated a script on my line. Right now, its pulling data from your device. Would you like me to read out your contacts list, or should I send it straight to the authorities?
I hear him swallow hard.
Thats illegal
Illegal? I laugh. Son, I was writing code when your grandmother was still in nappies. By the way, Im recording this entire conversationwith metadata. And do you know the best part? I can see your screen. Hello there, David. Nice profile photo. Does your mother know what youre up to?
Click.
He hangs up.
I laugh so hard I nearly spill my tea. Then I ring my grandsonthe one who always jokes that I dont understand technology.
Charlie, I say as he answers, Ive just outsmarted a scammer who tried to nick my money. Still think I dont know anything about the internet?I hear him gasp. Gran! You didnt! Wait, did you really
I let the silence hang, then whisper conspiratorially, Lets just say I still remember a few tricks.
He laughs, pride sparkling through his voice. Youre the coolest gran ever.
Well, darling, never let anyone tell you youre too old to outsmart the world, I say, grinning into my tea.
Outside, the birds resume their singing, and I settle back in my chair, my puzzle untouched, the day just beginning. Ninety-three and still giving them hell.












