Im 65 now, and this is pretty much the story of my life since I got married. I tied the knot at 23, not because I was pregnant or because someone was twisting my arm, but back then we really believed marriage was a commitment, not just something you try on for size. We both had jobs, but honestly, we hardly knew each other on a daily level. We thought the rest could be worked out along the way.
The first few years werent smooth sailing, let me tell you. We were learning to share a home, always teetering on arguments about how to run the house, money matters, and our different habits. We had our fair share of spats, silent stretches, and tense days. There was no violence or cheating, but plenty of differenceshonestly, stuff most couples today wouldnt put up with for a year. I wasnt even sure I could myself.
When our first child arrived, I quickly learned marriage wasnt just about love. It became about responsibility, about exhaustion, and often about putting yourself second. He was constantly working, so most of the housework fell to me. Sometimes I felt invisible. Sometimes I just felt worn out. Still, every time I thought about packing my bags, Id picture what it meant to actually break up a familynot just for myself, but for our kids.
We went through some rough patches financiallythere were months where we barely scraped by, and I gave more than I ever thought possible. He had his own low moments, his stubborn streak, and those long silences. There were mistakes, things said that cut deep, times when we really hurt each other. And yes, I forgaveover and over, not because I was weak but because I made a conscious choice to stick it out and build something real, not chase after some perfect fantasy.
We ended up with more kids, and raising them was anything but simple. Wed argue about discipline, money, our families, just sheer tiredness. But amid all that, there was also a bit of steadinessa dinner table where there was always food, kids who finished school, illnesses we got through, birthdays we celebrated. Nothing picture-perfect, but it was solid.
These days, I hear younger folks say you shouldnt hold onto anything, that if things go wrong you should just walk away. I get it; times are different. But I also think, if Id walked out after the first fight, first disappointment, or when I first felt drained, I wouldnt be here, telling you all this now.
I didnt stay because I was afraid. I stayed because I believed that keeping your promises matters, even when its difficult. I dont romanticise the tough times, but I think its that ongoing, deliberate forgiveness thats kept our marriage going for decades.
When the kids moved out the house got quiet. We dont bicker much these days, but we arent anything like the couples you see in films. Were just two people whove lived a life together, who know each other to bits, whove seen each other at our worst and still chose to stick around.
Was I happy all the time? Definitely not.
Did I mess up? Plenty.
Do I regret forgiving him? Not at all.
