I’m 60 Years Old and No Longer Expect Friends or Relatives to Visit My Home – I’d Rather Meet for Coffee Out Than Host at Home, and I Don’t Care What People Think About My Choices

Author Walton MerrittReading 2 minViews 1

I am sixty now. I see no reason to expect friends or relatives to visit my home any longer.

Many people close to me would claim I am too proud or standoffish, but honestly, the opinions of others trouble me very little these days.

Truth be told, the main reason I stopped entertaining guests is a rather simple one: I find myself too idle for it. Running a household tired me out, especially when it came to tidying up and preparing some refreshments for visitors. These days, I have neither the means nor the inclination for such things. If someone wishes to meet, there are plenty of tea rooms about; why must we all squeeze into ones parlour?

There is another reason, tooone of mood. Not every guest brings warmth and cheer into ones home. Why should I burden myself with the woes and worries of others? Each time after hosting a gathering, I was left with a heavy heart, fraught with gloom. I decided I would rather not sacrifice my own well-being any more. Since I stopped opening my door to visitors, my nights are no longer haunted by restless dreams and sleeplessness.

Besides, I am a pensioner now and often sit idle around the house. I much prefer to go out, see new sights, or simply take a stroll to clear my mind. What gain is there in fussing about, beckoning everyone indoors, only for them to leave me later with the mess and the lingering worry of whether they enjoyed themselves or not?

Our town is filled with splendid places for merriment. In our modern day, there is no real need to gather in someones drawing room to celebrate a birthday or mark an occasion. I wish to enjoy these freedoms and not spend my days chasing after crumbs with a dustpan and cloth.

My home now is my sanctuarymy world, just for me. There arent people within these walls whom I dont care for. Some might deem me a cold, unsociable soul, but that is simply not the case.

I wonder, does my view of things ring true for you too?

My Son Spent Years Searching for the Right Woman to Marry—At 30, He Finally Found His Perfect Match in Alice. I Supported His Choice, but Now Their Marriage Is Falling Apart, and I’m Not Sure If I Made Things Worse by Urging Him to Leave Almost every day, I heard about how lovely and beautiful Alice was. My son was truly smitten with her, and I liked her too. He passionately told me and his friends about her wonderful qualities—she seemed to be the perfect woman for him, so he married her without hesitation. As a loving mum, I fully supported his choice. Planning a wedding can be a real challenge, but my friends were absolute stars. The bride’s parents were delightful, and we got on famously from the start. At first, everything was perfect, but over time, things began to change. Their marriage started falling apart, and arguments became more frequent. I knew it was only their first year of marriage and hoped things would improve, but I worried about them—I just wanted them to be happy together. One evening really shook me. Late at night, my son arrived at my door with his things, saying he had nowhere else to go because Alice had kicked him out. He spent a few days with me, and Alice never came round to try to work things out. This happened again and again. When my daughter-in-law told me she was pregnant, I decided it was time for a chat with them. I just wanted to offer some advice to help them avoid misunderstandings in the future. It only made things worse. Their arguments became even more frequent, and my son stayed over at my place more often. I could see he was struggling—he wasn’t the happy man he used to be; there was disappointment in his eyes. I couldn’t stand seeing my son so unhappy in his marriage. I suggested he think carefully about whether it was worth staying together. He could still be a wonderful father even if he lived apart. Soon after, he filed for divorce. Not long after, Alice came to me for help, asking me to persuade my son to withdraw the divorce papers—she didn’t want the family to fall apart. I’d already advised her more than once to focus on her marriage. Now I’m accused of interfering in their relationship. I don’t know if I did the right thing by urging my son to divorce. His wife doesn’t like me, and he’s grown more distant from me as well. But maybe they still love each other? Living apart feels wrong, but living together isn’t working out either.

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Stay informed and get help when you need it. Below are key national services with direct contacts that may support you or your loved ones:
🏥 Health & Mental Support

SAMHSA – Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration

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WIC – Women, Infants, and Children Program

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Find local WIC office: fns.usda.gov/wic

I’m 60 Years Old and No Longer Expect Friends or Relatives to Visit My Home – I’d Rather Meet for Coffee Out Than Host at Home, and I Don’t Care What People Think About My Choices