I’m 50, and a year ago my wife left home with the kids while I was away—when I came back, the house was empty. A few weeks ago, I got a court order for child support, and now the payments are taken straight from my wages—no choice, no negotiation, no delay, the money just goes. I won’t pretend to be a saint: I cheated, more than once. Never fully hid it, but never truly admitted it. She accused me, I claimed she was seeing things. I also had a nasty temper—shouting, snapping, throwing things, ruling the house with my voice. I never hit them, but I scared them, and my kids learned to fear me. Coming home, they’d go silent; if I raised my voice, they’d retreat to their rooms. My wife walked on eggshells, careful with every word, never arguing back. I saw it as respect—now I know it was fear. Back then, I didn’t care—I was the breadwinner, the boss, the one making the rules. When she left, I felt betrayed, thought she’d come crawling back, so I refused to pay a penny—not because I couldn’t, but out of spite. I told her if she wanted money, she should come home, I wouldn’t support anyone living away. But she didn’t return; she went straight to a solicitor, filed all the paperwork, laid out every detail, and in no time the judge ordered automatic deductions. Now my wage is slashed before I even see it. There’s nothing to hide, nowhere to run—the money is gone before I touch it. Now I have no wife, no kids at home. I rarely see them, and when I do, they keep their distance. They say nothing. I’m no longer wanted. Financially, I’m more cornered than ever—rent, child support, debts, and there’s barely anything left for me. Sometimes I’m angry. Other times, I’m ashamed. My sister told me I brought it all on myself.

I’m fifty years old, and about a year ago, my wife walked out with the children. She left while I was out, and when I got back, the house was empty.

A few weeks ago, I got the letter: the request for child support. Since then, the money comes straight out of my wages. I have no say in it. There’s no room to bargain or delay. The payment just leaves my account automatically.

I’m not going to pretend I’m innocent. I cheated. More than once. I never exactly hid it, but I never came clean, either. She used to say she could see through me, that she knew what was happening, and I always insisted she was being paranoid or making things up.

I had a dreadful temper, too. Id shout and fly off the handle easily. Everything at home was dictated by my rules, my timing. If I didnt like something, everyone knew by my tone. Sometimes Id throw thingsnot at anyone, but to scare or make a point. I never raised a hand to them, but I frightened them all too often.

It dawned on me too late that my children were afraid of me. When I got in from work, theyd go silent. If I raised my voice, theyd slip away to their rooms. My wife would tiptoe around, weighing every word, avoiding confrontation. Back then, I convinced myself it was respect. Now I realise it was fear.

At the time, I didn’t care. I thought I was the provider, the one in charge, setting the rules, making everything work.

When she decided to leave, I felt betrayedlike she was defying me. I made another mistake: I resolved not to give her any money. Not because I couldnt afford it, but because I wanted to punish her.

I convinced myself shed come back when times got tough, when she realised she couldn’t manage without me. I told her if she wanted any help, shed have to come home. I wouldnt support anyone who didnt live under my roof.

But she didnt come back. She went straight to a solicitor and organised everythingher income, her expenses, the proof. Far quicker than Id imagined, a judge arranged for the payments to be automatically deducted.

Now, every payday, I see my earnings trimmed down. Theres no hiding. No dodging. The moneys gone before I even see it.

Today, I have no wife. My children dont live with me. I see them occasionally, and they keep their distance. They dont say much. I know Im not wanted.

Moneys tighter than its ever been. Im paying rent, child maintenance, debtsand whats left barely gets me by. Sometimes I get angry about it, and other times, I just feel ashamed.

My sister told me, its nobodys fault but my own.

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I’m 50, and a year ago my wife left home with the kids while I was away—when I came back, the house was empty. A few weeks ago, I got a court order for child support, and now the payments are taken straight from my wages—no choice, no negotiation, no delay, the money just goes. I won’t pretend to be a saint: I cheated, more than once. Never fully hid it, but never truly admitted it. She accused me, I claimed she was seeing things. I also had a nasty temper—shouting, snapping, throwing things, ruling the house with my voice. I never hit them, but I scared them, and my kids learned to fear me. Coming home, they’d go silent; if I raised my voice, they’d retreat to their rooms. My wife walked on eggshells, careful with every word, never arguing back. I saw it as respect—now I know it was fear. Back then, I didn’t care—I was the breadwinner, the boss, the one making the rules. When she left, I felt betrayed, thought she’d come crawling back, so I refused to pay a penny—not because I couldn’t, but out of spite. I told her if she wanted money, she should come home, I wouldn’t support anyone living away. But she didn’t return; she went straight to a solicitor, filed all the paperwork, laid out every detail, and in no time the judge ordered automatic deductions. Now my wage is slashed before I even see it. There’s nothing to hide, nowhere to run—the money is gone before I touch it. Now I have no wife, no kids at home. I rarely see them, and when I do, they keep their distance. They say nothing. I’m no longer wanted. Financially, I’m more cornered than ever—rent, child support, debts, and there’s barely anything left for me. Sometimes I’m angry. Other times, I’m ashamed. My sister told me I brought it all on myself.