I’ll Never Be Able to Be Your Mum or to Love You, But I’ll Take Care of You – Please Don’t Be Upset, Because Life with Us Will Be Better Than the Orphanage. Today Was a Hard Day: Ivan Laid His Sister to Rest, Troubled Though She Was, She Was Still Family. They Hadn’t Seen Each Other for Nearly Five Years, and Now This Tragedy. Vicky Did Her Best to Support Her Husband, Trying to Take Most of the Burden Herself. But After the Funeral, Another Important Matter Remained: Irina – Ivan’s Sister – Had Left Behind a Young Son. All the Relatives Gathered that Day to Say Goodbye, and Without Discussion, Shifted All Responsibility onto Irina’s Younger Brother. Who Else, But His Uncle, Should Care for the Boy? It Seemed Obvious That This Was the Only Right Solution. Vicky Understood, and Didn’t Object, Yet She Had One Reservation: She Had Never Wanted Children. Not Her Own, Certainly Not Someone Else’s. She Made That Decision Long Ago. She Had Honestly Told Ivan Before Their Wedding, and He’d Brushed It Off – Who Thinks Seriously About Children in Their Early Twenties? “No Kids – We’ll Live For Ourselves,” They’d Agreed Ten Years Ago. Now, Vicky Faced Accepting a Child Who Was Not Her Own; There Was No Choice. Ivan Would Never Let His Nephew Go to an Orphanage, and Vicky Herself Couldn’t Bring Up That Option. She Knew She’d Never Be Able to Love This Child, Nor Ever Take the Place of His Mum. The Boy Was Wise Beyond His Years, So Vicky Decided to Be Completely Honest. “Will, Where Would You Rather Live – With Us or in the Orphanage?” “I Want to Live at Home, Alone.” “But You Can’t – You’re Only Seven. So you have to choose.” “Then with Uncle Ivan.” “Okay, you’ll come with us. But there’s something you need to know. I won’t be able to be your mum or love you, but I’ll take care of you, and you mustn’t be upset. After all, being with us will still be better than the orphanage.” Some of the formalities sorted, they finally returned home. Vicky, believing she didn’t need to pretend to be the caring aunt after that conversation, resolved to simply look after the boy: feeding, laundry, helping with homework was easy enough, but caring with her heart was impossible. Young Will never forgot for a moment that he wasn’t loved and knew that, to avoid being sent to an orphanage, he had to behave well. At home, Will was given the smallest room, and it needed redecorating. Choosing wallpaper, furniture, and decor was Vicky’s passion; she eagerly dived into the project of making a child’s room. Will chose the wallpaper, the rest Vicky picked. She spared no expense – she wasn’t stingy, she simply didn’t like children – and the room turned out beautiful. Will was thrilled! He only wished his mum could see his new room. Oh, if only Vicky could love him! She was kind and good, just not fond of children. He pondered this many nights before sleep. He took joy in everything, every little thing. Circus, zoo, amusement parks – he showed such delight that Vicky found herself enjoying their outings too. She liked surprising him and watching his reactions. In August, Vicky and Ivan planned to holiday by the seaside, with a close relative looking after Will for ten days. But at the last moment, Vicky changed her mind; she desperately wanted Will to see the sea. Ivan was surprised but secretly pleased, for he had grown very close to the boy. Will was almost happy! If only he were loved. Still, he’d see the sea! The trip was a success – warm water, juicy fruit, great moods. Of course, all good things end; holiday over, normal life returned: work, home, school. Yet something in their little world had changed, a new feeling appeared – movement, a trace of joy, the hint of a miracle. And a miracle happened. Vicky returned from the sea carrying new life. How did this happen, after all those years avoiding such surprises? Vicky didn’t know what to do. Should she tell her husband, or handle it alone? Since Will’s arrival, she doubted Ivan was truly child-free – he adored the boy, took him to football, played together. No, Vicky had already gone through one ordeal, and was not ready for another. She made her decision alone. She was sitting in the clinic when a call came from the school: Will had been rushed to hospital with suspected appendicitis. Everything had to wait. She raced into the hospital; Will lay pale and shivering. Seeing Vicky, he burst into tears. “Vicky, please don’t go, I’m scared. Just this once, can you be my mum for today? Please, just for one day, and I’ll never ask again.” He clung to her hand, tears streaming. It seemed like a real panic attack; Vicky had never seen him cry except at the funeral. Now he was inconsolable. Vicky pressed his hand to her cheek. “My boy, hold on a little. The doctor will come soon and it’ll be alright. I’m here, and I won’t leave.” Oh, how she loved him in that moment! This bright-eyed boy was her whole world. ‘Child-free’ – what nonsense. Tonight, she’d tell Ivan about the baby. She knew, when Will squeezed her hand in pain, that this was the right thing. Ten years passed. Today Vicky celebrates a milestone birthday – 45. Guests, congratulations. But, over her coffee, she is swept by memories. How fast time flies; youth gone, young womanhood passed. Now she is a wife, and a mother of two wonderful children. Will is nearly eighteen, Sophie is ten. Vicky has no regrets. Well, only one: those words about not loving Will. She wishes with all her heart he never remembers them, never recalls them. Since that day in the hospital, she tried to tell Will she loves him as often as she could, but she never quite dared to ask if he remembers those first, painful admissions.

Ill never be able to be your mother or truly love you, but I will care for youand you mustnt hold it against me. Here with us, itll be better than a childrens home, no matter what.

The day had been unbearably heavy. John buried his sisteryes, the wayward one, but still his flesh and blood. They hadnt spoken in five years, and now she was gone.

Kate did everything she could to support her husband, quietly taking on as much of the burden as she could manage.

But after the funeral, another matter loomed with equal weight. Irene, Johns sister, had left behind a small boy. And the relativesgathered, sombresomehow passed all responsibility onto John, the youngest of the family.

Who else but uncle John should look after the lad? There was no debate; it simply was the only option.

Kate understood, and she didnt objectnot completely. But there was one thing. She never, ever wanted children. Not her own, and especially not someone elses.

Shed decided this years before. Shed told John honestly before their wedding, and he had brushed it aside. Who thinks seriously about children in their early twenties? No kids, theyd agreed back then, lets live for ourselves. That was a decade ago.

And now, she was faced with bringing a strangers child into their home. There was no alternative. John would never put his nephew in a childrens home, and Kate couldnt bear the idea either.

She knew shed never love this boy, let alone replace his mother. He was wise beyond his years, sharp-eyed and clever, and Kate decided to be honest with him.

William, where would you rather livewith us, or at the childrens home?

I want to live at home, alone.

But thats not allowed, William. Youre only seven. So you have to choose.

Then Ill live with Uncle John.

Alright, youll come with us, but I must say something. I wont ever become your mother, and I know I wont be able to love you. Still, Ill care for you, and you mustnt be upset. Itll be better here than in a home.

After signing the necessary papers, they finally returned to their house.

Kate thought, after that conversation, she no longer needed to pretendno kindly aunt charade. Shed feed him, wash his clothes, help with schoolworkthat was all fine. But she wouldnt give her soul; that was out of reach.

And young William didnt forget for a moment that he wasnt wanted, and that to avoid being sent away, he needed to behavereally behave.

Once home, John suggested William should have the smallest room. But it needed a transformation before the boy could settle there.

Wallpaper, furniture, decorationsthis was Kates element. She delighted in making the space perfect.

William chose the wallpaperbright blue, with tiny golden starsand Kate managed the rest. She spared no expense; that wasnt the point. She simply didnt love children, but the room turned out beautiful.

William was over the moon! If only his mum could see it, he thought. If only Kate could love him. She was good and kind, just not towards children.

He thought about it often before sleep.

William found joy in everything. A trip to the circus, the zoo, the amusement parkhe expressed his delight so sincerely that Kate herself started enjoying these outings. She reveled in surprising him, watching his amazed reactions.

In August, John and Kate had planned a seaside holiday. William was to stay with their close cousin for ten days.

But at the last minute, Kate changed everything. She desperately wanted William to see the sea. John was surprised, but somewhere inside, he was thrilled. Hed grown deeply fond of the boy.

William was almost happyif only there were love. But hed see the sea; that was enough.

The holiday was a triumph. The water was warm, the fruit sweet, and the mood bright. Soon, though, it was back to routinework, home, school. Yet something in their little world had shifted, some new sparka whiff of hope, a whisper of a miracle.

And then a miracle did come. Kate returned from the coast pregnant. How had it happened, after so many careful, childless years?

She didnt know what to do. Tell John? Or sort it herself? Since William, she wasn’t sure John was still steadfastly child-free. He adored the boy, played with him, even took him to football matches.

No, Kate could handle one child, but she wasnt ready for another. She carried that decision herself.

She was sitting in the clinic when the call came from school. William had been rushed to the hospital, suspected appendicitis. Everything else could wait.

She dashed into A&E. William lay on a stretcher, pale, shivering. As soon as he saw Kate, tears poured down his face.

Kate, please, dont leave. Im scared. Be my mum tonight. Please, just for one day. I wont ever ask again.

He clung to her hand, sobbing, spiraling into a real panic. Kate had only ever seen him cry at the funeral.

And now his grief burst out.

Kate pressed his hand to her cheek.

Hold on, my boy. The doctor will be here soon. Im right here, and Im not leaving.

Dear God, how she loved him now. This boy with sparkling eyesthe most important part of her life.

Child-free? What nonsense. Tonight, shed tell Johnabout the baby. She knew it, as William, trembling with pain, squeezed her hand tighter.

A decade slipped by.

Kates nearly reached her milestoneher 45th birthday. There would be guests and toasts. For now, she sat with her coffee, swept with memories.

How quickly time passes. Youth fades, and she became a woman: a loving wife, a mother of two wonderful children. William was nearly eighteen now, and Sophie ten. She regretted nothing.

Well, except one thing. Those cold wordsabout not loving him. How she wished William didnt remember, hadnt heard them, never would.

After that night in hospital, she tried to repeat her love to him as often as she could. Whether he remembered her first, awkward confession, she never dared ask.

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I’ll Never Be Able to Be Your Mum or to Love You, But I’ll Take Care of You – Please Don’t Be Upset, Because Life with Us Will Be Better Than the Orphanage. Today Was a Hard Day: Ivan Laid His Sister to Rest, Troubled Though She Was, She Was Still Family. They Hadn’t Seen Each Other for Nearly Five Years, and Now This Tragedy. Vicky Did Her Best to Support Her Husband, Trying to Take Most of the Burden Herself. But After the Funeral, Another Important Matter Remained: Irina – Ivan’s Sister – Had Left Behind a Young Son. All the Relatives Gathered that Day to Say Goodbye, and Without Discussion, Shifted All Responsibility onto Irina’s Younger Brother. Who Else, But His Uncle, Should Care for the Boy? It Seemed Obvious That This Was the Only Right Solution. Vicky Understood, and Didn’t Object, Yet She Had One Reservation: She Had Never Wanted Children. Not Her Own, Certainly Not Someone Else’s. She Made That Decision Long Ago. She Had Honestly Told Ivan Before Their Wedding, and He’d Brushed It Off – Who Thinks Seriously About Children in Their Early Twenties? “No Kids – We’ll Live For Ourselves,” They’d Agreed Ten Years Ago. Now, Vicky Faced Accepting a Child Who Was Not Her Own; There Was No Choice. Ivan Would Never Let His Nephew Go to an Orphanage, and Vicky Herself Couldn’t Bring Up That Option. She Knew She’d Never Be Able to Love This Child, Nor Ever Take the Place of His Mum. The Boy Was Wise Beyond His Years, So Vicky Decided to Be Completely Honest. “Will, Where Would You Rather Live – With Us or in the Orphanage?” “I Want to Live at Home, Alone.” “But You Can’t – You’re Only Seven. So you have to choose.” “Then with Uncle Ivan.” “Okay, you’ll come with us. But there’s something you need to know. I won’t be able to be your mum or love you, but I’ll take care of you, and you mustn’t be upset. After all, being with us will still be better than the orphanage.” Some of the formalities sorted, they finally returned home. Vicky, believing she didn’t need to pretend to be the caring aunt after that conversation, resolved to simply look after the boy: feeding, laundry, helping with homework was easy enough, but caring with her heart was impossible. Young Will never forgot for a moment that he wasn’t loved and knew that, to avoid being sent to an orphanage, he had to behave well. At home, Will was given the smallest room, and it needed redecorating. Choosing wallpaper, furniture, and decor was Vicky’s passion; she eagerly dived into the project of making a child’s room. Will chose the wallpaper, the rest Vicky picked. She spared no expense – she wasn’t stingy, she simply didn’t like children – and the room turned out beautiful. Will was thrilled! He only wished his mum could see his new room. Oh, if only Vicky could love him! She was kind and good, just not fond of children. He pondered this many nights before sleep. He took joy in everything, every little thing. Circus, zoo, amusement parks – he showed such delight that Vicky found herself enjoying their outings too. She liked surprising him and watching his reactions. In August, Vicky and Ivan planned to holiday by the seaside, with a close relative looking after Will for ten days. But at the last moment, Vicky changed her mind; she desperately wanted Will to see the sea. Ivan was surprised but secretly pleased, for he had grown very close to the boy. Will was almost happy! If only he were loved. Still, he’d see the sea! The trip was a success – warm water, juicy fruit, great moods. Of course, all good things end; holiday over, normal life returned: work, home, school. Yet something in their little world had changed, a new feeling appeared – movement, a trace of joy, the hint of a miracle. And a miracle happened. Vicky returned from the sea carrying new life. How did this happen, after all those years avoiding such surprises? Vicky didn’t know what to do. Should she tell her husband, or handle it alone? Since Will’s arrival, she doubted Ivan was truly child-free – he adored the boy, took him to football, played together. No, Vicky had already gone through one ordeal, and was not ready for another. She made her decision alone. She was sitting in the clinic when a call came from the school: Will had been rushed to hospital with suspected appendicitis. Everything had to wait. She raced into the hospital; Will lay pale and shivering. Seeing Vicky, he burst into tears. “Vicky, please don’t go, I’m scared. Just this once, can you be my mum for today? Please, just for one day, and I’ll never ask again.” He clung to her hand, tears streaming. It seemed like a real panic attack; Vicky had never seen him cry except at the funeral. Now he was inconsolable. Vicky pressed his hand to her cheek. “My boy, hold on a little. The doctor will come soon and it’ll be alright. I’m here, and I won’t leave.” Oh, how she loved him in that moment! This bright-eyed boy was her whole world. ‘Child-free’ – what nonsense. Tonight, she’d tell Ivan about the baby. She knew, when Will squeezed her hand in pain, that this was the right thing. Ten years passed. Today Vicky celebrates a milestone birthday – 45. Guests, congratulations. But, over her coffee, she is swept by memories. How fast time flies; youth gone, young womanhood passed. Now she is a wife, and a mother of two wonderful children. Will is nearly eighteen, Sophie is ten. Vicky has no regrets. Well, only one: those words about not loving Will. She wishes with all her heart he never remembers them, never recalls them. Since that day in the hospital, she tried to tell Will she loves him as often as she could, but she never quite dared to ask if he remembers those first, painful admissions.