A few years ago, my friend Thomas finally got married. I have to admit, he managed to hold out for quite some time, considering Thomas is already thirty-three. Hes always been fiercely independent and has never seen the appeal of marriage. Visiting his parents, buying groceries in bulk, family gatheringsnone of that ever appealed to him. Hed always shrug off jokes from friends and relatives with the same reply:
Ive got my own flat, a decent job, so why would I need a family? Im perfectly fine on my own. Anyway, Ive got my loyal companionmy dog, Baxter. The two of us get on splendidly, never feel blue. As for women? Here today, gone tomorrow.
But, as with all things, even Thomass solitude had to end eventually. He was caught by a woman, and she was rather shrewd She kept her distance just enough to make him chase her. Her name was Harriet; they met at a coffee shop. She was twenty-nine, recently divorced, but had no children.
After their paths crossed a second time, Harriet occasionally stayed over at Thomass flat. Soon enough, her clothes found their way into his wardrobe, and before he knew it, she had essentially moved in. One evening, as they sat in the kitchen sharing a cup of tea, Harriet suddenly spoke:
Thomas, you know, you have dropped some hints about getting married. I think, perhaps, Id be willing to say yes.
Thomas couldnt recall ever hinting at marriage, but he couldnt very well deny it, either. He tried to wriggle out of the conversation, but Harriet swiftly changed the subject to planning their future wedding.
He felt things were spinning beyond his control, but he didnt put up much resistance. Sooner or later, marriage was bound to happen, and besidesHarriet wasnt a bad catch. And with that, England had one less bachelor.
Their first year together as husband and wife went wellexcept for the occasional squabble that cropped up now and then. Harriet didnt like it when Thomas rolled home late or stumbled in the door a bit worse for wear. In response, shed sometimes confide in her ex-husband, sharing her problems with her current one. Unsurprisingly, Thomas didnt appreciate that.
Harriet argued that he could be kinder to people. One evening, Thomas was at work celebrating his bosss birthday and turned up home drunk, yet again. He collapsed into the spare room, only to overhear his wife having a chat with the dog.
Youre a sly one, arent you? All you do all day is eat and sleep. Not a care in the world. Youre just like your master. No youre clevereryou keep quiet but understand everything. Your master doesnt want to understand anything. How can anyone live like that?
Thomas wanted to confront his wife then and there, but it turned out worse than he expected.
Hes come home drunk once more. You dont like the smell either, do you? Hes drinking more and more these days. I cant bear to look at him. I regret marrying him. He seemed alright at first, but he turned out to be a right so-and-so. My ex-husband is far better than himnever drinks, earns well. Why did I leave him? Granted, he cheated once or twice, but doesnt that happen to everyone? At least he knew how to apologise. He still tries to win me back. What am I to do, Baxter? Its in your paws now. Just give me a sign.
Suddenly, Thomas burst into the room. He called Baxter over, fixed his wife with a cold stare and said:
If you think I ever dreamed about having a family, youre dead wrong. I dont need a wifeespecially not one like you. Youre the one who forced your way into my flat. I cant stand to even look at you. You have an hour to pack your things. Your ex-husband will no doubt take you back. Or maybe theres someone else? And one more thingtomorrow you can file for divorce.
Instead of leaving with dignity, Harriet broke down in tears, apologised repeatedly, and accused Thomas of being utterly heartless. He was unmoved, showed her to the door, and that was that. Standing outside, Harriet rang for a cab and disappeared into the London night, heading who knows where.
