We all have relatives. And if your family is a big one, youre bound to have one or two who are rather well-heeled. Strangely enough, these wealthier members of the family tend to be less liked, and you feel a sort of envy hanging over their heads. Yet, come special occasions, everyone makes sure to put them on the guest list in hopes of landing an expensive present. My family is no exception. I remember a particular event some five years agoa wedding Id been asked along to. The son of my third cousin was getting married, and those well-to-do relatives on the brides side, rather distantly related, had been invited along as well.
It seems to be a common belief: Invite the relatives with the deepest pockets, and perhaps the newlyweds will get a lavish gift, something sure to impressespecially on such an occasion as a wedding! The day was in full swingthe house buzzing with guests, the bride and groom glowing with happiness. The wealthy relatives, a married couple, were fashionably late, turning up just as the gifts were being handed out.
A woman sitting close by leaned over and whispered, Lets see what happens now. I bet the grooms mother wont be happy with their giftneither will the happy couple, for that matter.
I was a bit taken aback. Why? Does it really matter what sort of present they give? I asked.
Soon enough, the moment arrived for the affluent relatives to present their wedding gift. They passed an envelope to the master of ceremonies, who slit it open for all to see. For a few moments, the room held its breath. I wondered, was it keys to a flat, a brand-new car, a ticket for a holiday abroad, or maybe just a wad of cash? The master of ceremonies quietly told me what was inside. The grooms mother immediately counted the notes and looked at the couple with a mixture of confusion and expectation on her face.
Thats it? she blurted. You were invited to the weddingyouve got your own chauffeur and drive a top-of-the-range car, yet thats all you give, like beggars?
Without saying another word, the wealthy relatives reached back for their gift, took the envelope, and said calmly, If our gift doesnt suit, give it to someone else. And with that, they simply walked out.
It was quite a sight. The entire room erupted into laughter, myself included.
Later on, I learned that those relatives are only ever invited to birthdays and weddings because people are hoping for an extravagant present. As for the amount in the envelope that day? It turned out to be enough for a weeks getaway at a rather nice hotel, which I would personally consider a generous giftespecially coming from such distant kin. For some reason, though, the grooms mother saw fit to call it a poor mans offering.
Thinking back on that day, I realised its all too easy to let expectations get the better of us, especially where moneys involved. A gift, no matter its cost, should come from the heart. Thats one lesson Ive tried to carry with me ever since.
