I vividly remember the day when my aunt, my mother’s sister, took our ailing grandmother to live with her. That day, she put on quite a performance—full of loud declarations and accusations. We heard so many hurtful words from her!
She spoke in a way that could have been straight out of a guidebook on family values. But behind all those words, there was nothing but anger and condemnation.
“I won’t let my mother end up in a nursing home! I have a conscience, unlike you!” she yelled at my mom.
Her voice echoed throughout the entire neighborhood. It seemed to me that she was doing it on purpose, making sure all the neighbors knew just how “bad” my mom was and how “good” she was in comparison.
But the issue was not about conscience. The real problem was that our grandmother truly needed professional care. After suffering a stroke, her health had significantly deteriorated—she was losing her memory, often got lost in her own home, cried frequently, and her behavior had become increasingly unpredictable.
At times, we could manage, but these incidents were happening more often and becoming dangerous. One day, we came home to find all the lights in the house on, water running from the faucets, and the gas stove turned on. Fortunately, we arrived just in time—things could have ended in tragedy.
After another visit to the doctor, we were told that our grandmother’s condition would only worsen. Medication could slow the process slightly, but there was no hope for a miracle. We realized that she could no longer take care of herself, and we simply couldn’t be with her 24/7.
After many discussions, we began looking for a suitable nursing home where she could receive proper care and live comfortably. We never wanted to abandon her; we were only trying to find the best solution.
When our aunt, who lived in another city, found out about this, she came to us, furious and accusatory.
“How can you even consider putting your own mother in a nursing home?! She has children, and yet you’re trying to get rid of her!”
After those words, she took our grandmother to live with her.
Three months later, we found out that our aunt had placed our grandmother in a care home herself. It turned out she couldn’t handle taking care of a sick person either.
The irony was that she had been the one accusing us of lacking a conscience and had loudly proclaimed that she would never allow her mother to end up in a nursing home. I wanted to call her and ask one simple question: “So where is your conscience now?”
But my aunt didn’t answer the phone. She must have realized that she had gone too far and made a mistake, but she didn’t have the courage to apologize or admit she was wrong.
