I wont support another mans child
How much does your ex give you in child maintenance?
Charlotte choked on her tea. The question landed like a snowball smack in the face on a sunny afternoonunexpected, and oddly wounding all the same.
Across the table, Barbara sat poised and expectant. Between them, a homemade apple tart cooled, baked specially for her mother-in-laws visit. Barbara adored apple tart. Now, this fact seemed strangely irrelevant.
Were managing, thank you, Charlotte answered, trying for a smile, but her mouth felt stiff.
Thats not what Im asking, love.
Well its quite a personal question
Barbara pushed her cup away and folded her hands on the table. Her perfectly manicured fingers tapped against the tablecloth.
Charlotte, I dont ask out of idle curiosity. James is starting school this year, isnt he?
Charlotte nodded, already sensing where Barbara was headed. Deep down, she knew. She had just hoped not to admit it.
Uniforms, books, bag, after-school clubs, childcarethese things all add up, dont they? Barbara ticked off each item with a finger. Costs have gone up, am I right?
They have, Charlotte admitted quietly.
And tell me, then. Whos paying more now? Jamess dad, or my Simon?
An uneasy silence crept over the little kitchen. Outside, a car horn blared; the laughter of a child trickled down from an upstairs window, but here, with the cheerful curtains Charlotte had sewn last spring, the air grew sticky and still.
Charlotte cleared her throat.
Were all right, she repeated. Even to her own ears, the words sounded feeble. Simon doesnt complain.
Barbara gave a sharp, catlike snort. Of course he doesnt. Hes got the patience of a saint, that one. Like his father. She stood up briskly, smoothing her cardigan. Seems to me its my son supporting all of you. You, and your James.
Barbara
But her mother-in-law was already collecting her things in the hallway. Charlotte followed, unsure what to say or even whether to justify herself. Werent they family now? Simon had chosen this life. Hed offered. He wanted it.
Barbara pulled on her mac, checked her handbag, and turned. No fury in her eyes, only a deep weariness Charlotte couldnt fathom.
You ought to look for a part-time job, Charlotte, her voice softened, making it worse. I didnt raise my son to pay for another mans child.
The door closed.
Charlotte stood in the porch, staring at the Welcome doormat.
That evening, the familiar sounds filled their flat: James played with Lego in his room, Simon rattled around in the kitchen reheating supper. Just another evening for an ordinary family. Yet Charlotte couldnt shake off Barbaras words, which clung to her mind like a stubborn tune.
It was late, after James had fallen asleep, that she found the courage, just the two of them in the kitchen. Simon scrolled through the news on his tablet, tea in hand, so at home in his faded t-shirt that Charlotte almost lost her nerve.
Simon, she began, perching beside him, are you I mean, are you sure youre okay with everything? Do you feel youre spending too much on James?
Simon looked up, bewildered.
Charlie, whats this about?
Just a question.
He set his tablet down and turned to her, so completely open in that simple gesture that she briefly felt guilty for asking.
James is my boy, Simon said, as if it were perfectly obvious. Doesnt matter whose names on the paperwork. Im raising him, I love him. Whats all this talk of spending? What are you worried about?
Charlotte nodded and smiledthese were the words she wanted to hear. But deep inside, something cold and heavy settled in her chest, and Barbaras hurtful words, so unfair, started to take root.
Six months passed
Charlotte sat on the edge of the bathtub, staring in disbelief at the pregnancy test. Two blue lines. When she showed Simon, he swept her up and spun her around the corridor like a schoolboy. James bounced beside them, desperate to know the excitement, and, when told hed be a big brother, insisted it had to be a little sisterhe would teach her how to build the best Lego castles.
The months went by with barely a hitch. March brought baby Sophiea tiny bundle with Simons eyes and Charlottes nose. James kept his promise, watching over the cot for hours, policing silence in her honour.
Charlotte thought, surely now, things would fall into place. Surely, Barbara would visit and, at last, accept their family as it was.
She was mistaken.
Two weeks after they brought Sophie home, Barbara came to call. With Sophie sleeping and James at school, the three adults sat quietly in the kitchen.
Barbara set down her tea.
So, youre on maternity leave now, Charlotte? Barbara began. That means less money coming in. But the spending on James stays the same. How do you mean to fill that gap?
Charlottes heart hammered, a chill forming in her chest.
I think you need to ring Jamess father, Barbara continued, unhurried. Ask him for extra, or make sure he increases the payments. Its his duty, isnt it, to support his child? Its high time Simon stopped
Simon suddenly slammed his hand on the table; cups jumped, a spoon clattered to the floor.
Mum, his voice was low, unyieldingCharlotte had never heard him like that, enough.
Barbara drew herself up, ready for battle. Im just looking out for you and Sophie. Is that a crime? Im your mother; I have every right to worry!
What exactly are you worried about? Simons jaw was tight. That Im happy? That I have a family?
That youre pouring your time and money into someone elses child! Barbara flung her arms. You have your own daughter nowand still youre footing the bill for that boy.
Charlotte wanted to disappear. That boy. Her James, who adored Simon, called him Dad, made him cards for every occasionthat boy.
James is my son, Simon replied, clipped and steady. I couldnt care less about birth certificates. I raise him. I love him. Hes as much mine as Sophie is. Were a family, Mum. If you cant accept that, then thats your problem.
Barbara shot to her feet, sending the chair crashing into the fridge.
Youre ruining your life! she shrieked, her voice splitting. Ruining it for her and her child! I didnt raise you for this!
From the nursery came a babys soft whimper, rising into cries as Sophie awoke to the shouting.
Charlotte rushed away, scooping up Sophie, cradling her, whispering comfort as her own ears rang with the din from the kitchen. Somewhere in the hall, the front door slammed, rattling the walls.
Silence settled at last.
Sophie calmed, her tiny head nestled on Charlottes shoulder. Charlotte stood in the nurseryafraid to move, look back, or discover what Barbaras departure really meant.
The door creaked open. Simon slipped in, eyes weary but calm. He wrapped his arms around both Charlotte and Sophie, and for a long moment, they stood together, wordless and close.
Mums not easy, Simon said finally, pressing his lips to Charlottes hair. But dont let her get to you. She wont be round for a while.
Charlotte gazed at him, tears pricking her vision, and simply nodded.
They would be all right. Their little family was enough.
