**Diary Entry A One-Way Ticket**
Id been their free nanny and cook until they saw me at the airport with a one-way ticket.
*”Nan, hi! Am I interrupting?”* My daughter-in-law, Emilys voice chirped with forced cheer on the other end of the line.
I stirred the long-cold soup silently. No, she wasnt interrupting. I was never too busy when they needed something.
*”Go on, Emily.”*
*”Weve got newstotal bombshell! Leo and I booked a last-minute holiday to Spain! All-inclusive, two weeks! Can you believe it?”*
I could. Beaches, sunshine, Leo and Emily. And somewhere off-cameratheir five-year-old, Alfie. My grandson.
*”Congratulations. Im so happy for you,”* I said flatly, like reading a medicine label.
*”Right! So, youll take Alfie, wont you? He cant go to nursery nowchickenpox is going round again.”*
*”And hes got swimming lessonscant miss those. Plus, his speech therapist next week. Ill text you the schedule.”*
She spoke fast, not letting me interject, as if I might refuse. But I never did.
*”Emily, I was planning to go to the cottage for a few days while the weathers still nice…”* I began, already doubting my own weak protest.
*”The cottage?”* Genuine disbelief laced her voice, as if Id announced a trip to the moon. *”Nan, seriously? Alfie needs you!”*
I looked out the window at the grey courtyard. *My sunshine. My fresh air.*
*”Andoh!”* she barrelled on. *”The cat food deliverys coming Wednesdaypremium stuff, twelve kilos. Couriers between ten and six, so be home, yeah? And water the plants, especially the orchid. Its fussy.”*
She listed my duties like they were obvious. I wasnt a personjust a function. A free, convenient app in their comfortable lives.
*”Fine, Emily. Of course.”*
*”Brilliant! Knew we could count on you!”* She trilled as if bestowing a great favour. *”Right, kisses, gotta dashpacking to do!”*
The dial tone buzzed.
I set the phone down slowly. My gaze fell on the wall calendar. Next Saturday was circled in reda long-overdue girls lunch.
I took a damp cloth and wiped the mark away, erasing another tiny piece of my unlived life.
No anger. No bitterness. Just a sticky, hollow emptiness and one quiet question:
*When will they realise Im not just a free service, but a human being?*
Probably when they see me at the airport with a one-way ticket.
—
Alfie arrived the next day. Leo hauled in an enormous suitcase, a swim bag, and three sacks of toys, avoiding my eyes.
*”Mum, were in a rushflights soon,”* he muttered, dumping the suitcase in the hall.
Emily fluttered in behind himsunhat, sundress, already in holiday mode. She scanned my modest flat with a critical eye.
*”Nan, dont let Alfie watch too much telly. Read to him. And go easy on sweetshes a nightmare after sugar.”*
She thrust a folded sheet at me. *”Full schedule here: meals, therapist numbers, allergy meds. Everything.”*
As if I hadnt raised Alfie since he was born. As if I hadnt sacrificed my own life while they built theirs.
*”Emily, I know what he likes,”* I said quietly.
*”Likes arent the same as diet,”* she snipped. *”Alfie-love, be good for Nan! Well bring you a massive toy!”*
They left in a cloud of expensive perfume and cold air.
Alfie sobbed for three days straight. Swimming lessons across town, speech therapy on the other side. Tantrums, nightmares, endless *”I want Mummy!”* By day four, I was shattered.
I called Leo. Theyd just checked into their hotel.
*”Mum? Whats wrong? Is Alfie okay?”* His voice was tense.
*”Hes fine. Leo Im struggling. Could you hire a temp nanny? Ill pay half.”*
Silence. Then a heavy sigh.
*”Mum, not now. We just got here. Emilys stressed enough. Whod we trust? Youre his nanthis should be a joy!”*
*”Joy doesnt cancel exhaustion,”* I said. *”Im not getting younger.”*
*”Youre just out of practice,”* he insisted. *”Dont ruin this for us. We never get away!”*
He hung up. Something in me hardenednot anger, but clarity.
To him, I wasnt Mum. I was a resource. Reliable, tested, and most importantlyfree.
—
Wednesday: the cat food arrived. The courier dumped twelve kilos on the step and left. I strained my back dragging it inside, then sat beside the fish-scented sack and laughed silently.
Emily called that evening, sea waves and music in the background.
*”Nan! Did you water my orchid? Filtered water, right? Not on the leavesthe roots!”*
No *”Hows Alfie?”* No *”How are you?”* Just the orchid.
That night, I dug out my old savings book and passport. The thought from before wasnt a fantasy anymore. It was a plan.
—
Day ten: Leo called after lunch.
*”Mum! We love it heretotal paradise! The hotel offered a discount if we stay another week!”*
I already knew.
*”Were short on cash though Mum, those sapphire earrings Grandad left youyou never wear them.”*
*”What do you want, Leo?”* My voice was eerily calm.
*”Pawn them? Well buy them back! Swear! Theyre just sitting there!”*
Emily chimed in: *”Leo, stop waffling! Nan, its just things!”*
*Just things.* My memories. My family. My life. Pawned for their *”living emotions.”*
Something in me crystallisedcold, sharp, final.
*”Fine,”* I said evenly. *”How much?”*
*”Fifty grand! Youre the best! Send the receipt though, yeah?”*
*”Of course, love. Enjoy your holiday.”*
I hung up. Peeked at Alfie, asleep, lips smacking. My sweet boy, loved only by me.
The ice in my chest cracked. I couldnt abandon him. But I couldnt live like this either.
I texted Leo:
*”Not pawning the earrings. Your holiday ends Sunday, per your tickets. If youre not back, Im contacting social services on Monday. No debate.”*
The reply was instant: *”Are you THREATENING us?”*
I didnt answer. I booked a flight. Malaga. One-way. Departing Tuesday.
—
They stormed in on Sunday eveningtanned, furious.
*”Happy now?”* Emily spat. *”You ruined our holiday!”*
Leo scooped up Alfie, who clung to him. I walked out, holding my passport and ticket.
*”Im glad youre back for your son,”* I said quietly. *”Now listen. Both of you.”*
They froze at my tone.
*”Five years, Leo. Five years Ive been your shadow.”*
*”Ive raised Alfie more than you have. Ive cancelled my life for Mum, we need help! You treated me like a free service. But Im done.”*
I placed the ticket on the table.
*”Spain?”* Leo gaped. *”For how long?”*
*”Havent decided,”* I shrugged, lifting my packed suitcase. *”I want to live for me. You? Youre parents now. Fully. No help, no shortcuts. Learn.”*
I kissed Alfies head. *”Nan will be back soon,”* I lied.
Then I walked outleaving them with twelve kilos of cat food, a fussy orchid, and full responsibility for their lives.
For the first time in years, I didnt feel empty. I felt possibility.
