Id been with my girlfriend for five years. Because of work, we lived in different citiesme in Manchester, her in Londonbut we talked every day. We had plans for the future, and, honestly, I was on the verge of proposing. I thought if we got married, the distance would finally come to an end. I trusted her completely. She’d never given me any real reason to doubt her.
Then one day, I got a call from a number I didnt recognise. I answered, a bit wary, but the man on the other end was calm and polite. He introduced himself and got right to the point:
I dont want any trouble. I’m calling you because I think you deserve to know something.
He told me he was an IT engineer and had just recently started seeing someone. Nothing serious yetjust texting, a few coffees, a bit of flirting that early stage when youre just getting to know someone. Shed never mentioned she was seeing anyone else. Everything seemed normal, until certain things didnt add up.
Hed been chatting with a mate at work, who was also seeing someone at the time. He mentioned her name. His friend went quiet and asked to see a photo. When he saw it, his reaction was immediate:
Mate, stay away from her. Shes had a boyfriend for five years.
Apparently, it wasnt just a rumour. Loads of people knew about it. He even described mesaid I lived up north, that she worked in London, and thats why she got away with it. Even worse, this friend explained that she was also seeing another bloke, another engineera mutual acquaintance, not particularly close, but his mate knew him well. That engineer knew about me, and apparently didnt care.
At that point, it hit himthis wasnt a misunderstanding. This was a woman leading three blokes on at the same time: me, another engineer who knew about me, and him, who was kept in the dark.
He told me that once he realised what was going on, he felt compelled to let me know. He said, If theres such a thing as girl code, there should be guy code as well. I dont want to be part of this. Hed found my number on social media and decided to phone rather than send a message. He added, If you want proof, just say the word and Ill send it through. Ive got nothing to hide.
I said yes. After we hung up, within minutes, he sent me everything: chat logs, voice notes, photos, plans for meeting up. The things she said to him were nearly word for word what she used to say to me. The same lines. The same compliments. The same empty promises.
The pain in my chest was so sharp, I honestly thought I might collapse right there. I loved her, and Id started making plans to revolve my whole life around her. I was even considering a move to London, proposing, starting afresh together.
I rang her and confronted her. She didnt deny it. First, she tried to play it down. Then she got angry, saying, Why did someone have to get involved? Then she started crying, told me she was confused. That she didnt know what she wanted. That she hadnt expected me to find out like this.
I hung up.
That was when I realised something that, I have to admit, was hard to swallow: its not just men who cheat. Some women are just as calculated, running several relationships at once and know exactly what theyre doing.
Yes, I lost a relationship. But Im grateful to that stranger who, not even knowing me, had the decency to warn me. Otherwise, Id probably be engaged today to someone living a doubleor even triplelife, without a shred of remorse.
