**Personal Diary Entry**
I wanted to surprise my husband. I decided to visit him at work and bring him lunch. As I approached the door, I overheard a conversation that left me utterly shaken.
Im twenty-nine years old. Perhaps Im the most naïve woman alive because, until recently, I truly believed everything in my family was fine. And I was wrongso wrongabout the man I chose. My husband turned out to be a cheat and a selfish man. I still cant believe hes done this to me.
Weve known each other for ten years, married for six. His name is Edward, and hes always been thoughtful and caring, providing for me and our children. We have twoa son and a daughter. With my support, Edward managed to start his own business. Its been doing well, bringing in good money.
I worked as a sales assistant, and recently, I opened my own online clothing shop. So while our daughter is at nursery and our son naps, I work and earn my own keep.
My weight has always hovered around eight and a half stone. After having the baby, I gained over three stone. At first, I hoped looking after two children would help me shed the pounds, but it wasnt as simple as Id thought. I made it my mission to lose weightate clean, exercised, drank plenty of water, cut out bread and pastries. Yet the scale didnt budge, and it crushed me. I felt so self-conscious.
After our second child, I stopped liking what I saw in the mirror. I didnt feel feminine or attractive anymore. And Edwardhe changed right before my eyes. He stopped kissing me, stopped holding me. Forget intimacyI cant even remember the last time we had a proper conversation. Everything became about the mundane: bills, groceries, the children.
Ill admit, before the babies, I felt confident, beautiful. Now, I avoid mirrors. I know our marriage has suffered because of it, so I decided to fix things. One day, I planned a surpriselunch at his office. But as I reached the door, I heard him say:
“Dont worry, love. Ill come by after work. I told my wife Im swamped. She hasnt got a clue you exist!”
I didnt walk in. I turned around and left.
Does he not realise I gained weight carrying *his* children? Hes no Adonis himselfcarrying a bit of extra weight tooyet he fixates on my flaws.
Now I wonder does he think Im stupid on top of everything else?
I havent told Edward what I heard. What should I do? File for divorce? But the childrenhow will they cope without their father? Pretend nothing happened? I dont think I can.
For now, Ive decided to focus on myself. Ive joined a gym. First, Ill show him exactly what hes losing. Then well see.
