**Diary Entry 12th October**
I wanted to surprise my husband today. I decided to visit him at work and bring him lunch. As I approached his office door, I overheard a conversation that left me utterly shaken.
Im twenty-nine. Perhaps Im the most naïve woman alive, because until recently, I believed my family was perfect. I was wrong about him. My husband turned out to be a cheat and a selfish man. I still cant believe hes done this to me.
Weve known each other for ten years, married for six. His name is Jamesalways so caring, so protective, providing for me and our children. We have two: a son and a daughter. With my help, he started his own business, which brought in decent money.
I used to work as a sales assistant, but recently opened my own online boutique for clothing. So while our daughter is at nursery and our son naps, I work and earn my own keep.
My weight has always hovered around eight and a half stone. After childbirth, I gained nearly three. At first, I hoped chasing after two little ones would help shed the pounds, but things arent as simple as they seem. I triedate clean, exercised, drank water, cut out bread. Yet the scale wouldnt budge, and it crushed me. I grew self-conscious, insecure.
After our second child, I stopped recognising myself. I no longer felt feminine or desirable. And James he changed before my eyes. He stopped kissing me, stopped holding me. Forget intimacywe barely spoke unless it was about bills or the kids.
Ill admit, before the babies, I felt confident, attractive. Now, I avoid mirrors. I knew our marriage was suffering, so I resolved to fix it. Thats why I decided to surprise him today. I brought lunch to his office, but as I reached the door, I heard him say:
*”Dont worry, love, Ill come by after work. Told the wife Im swampedshe hasnt a clue you exist!”*
I didnt walk in. I turned and left.
Does he not realise I gained weight carrying *his* children? Hes no Adonis himselfyet he only sees my flaws.
Now I wonderdoes he think me a fool on top of it all?
I havent confronted him. What do I do? File for divorce? But the childrenhow would they cope without their father? Pretend nothing happened? I dont think I can.
For now, Ill keep working on myself. Joined a gym. First, Ill show him what hes lost. Then well see.
**Lesson learnt:** Trust is fragile. And sometimes, the person youd take a bullet for is the one holding the gun.
