“I thought I’d been lucky with my daughter-in-law… But after the wedding, she became a different person.”
When my son Alex introduced Emily to us, I immediately thought, “We’re in luck.” Emily seemed simple, tidy, and capable. Their place was always neat, everything in its right spot, she cooked well, and was always polite and friendly. I never heard a harsh word from her. We frequently spent time together—sometimes they’d visit me at my cottage, or I’d pop over for tea. I never felt like an outsider; on the contrary, Emily always aimed to help and please. I was happy for both my son and myself. Finally, he would have a real family, I thought.
They’d only been seeing each other for six months when Alex proposed. Of course, Emily accepted but immediately mentioned her dream of a beautiful wedding—white dress, limo, and a photographer. They didn’t have much money at the time, so they decided to save up for six months. I didn’t get involved in their plans—I wasn’t flush with cash myself, and unsolicited advice is rarely welcome. The young ones would decide their path. The most important thing was that they loved each other.
The wedding was exactly as they dreamed. I gifted them money instead of unnecessary presents—let them decide what they needed most. The guests were mostly friends of the newlyweds, and my friend, Alex’s godmother, couldn’t make it. I stayed for a while and then left—I didn’t want to intrude on the younger crowd’s fun. We had agreed beforehand to gather at my cottage the following day.
The next day, my friend and I prepared everything—salads, barbecue. The newlyweds arrived. I noticed Emily was sullen, uncommunicative, spent the day glued to her phone, never even glanced my way. At least Alex helped a bit, but she didn’t lift a finger. I chalked it up to exhaustion—after all, she’d been through a wedding.
But her behavior became a pattern. Meetings grew rare, and it always seemed to be my initiative. I didn’t push—I understood they were a young couple, adjusting to each other’s company and making a home together. But still, I longed to see my son at least once a month.
On his birthday, I bought Alex a gift and called to see if I could drop by for five minutes to give it to him. He told me they weren’t celebrating because they were short on cash. I understood. But a half-hour later, Emily called and curtly said, “We just want to be alone; please don’t be upset.” I thought perhaps they were planning some romantic surprise. But then I learned they had guests—friends. Only I hadn’t been invited. And they hadn’t said a word to me. They just…ignored me.
I felt like an outsider. Unneeded. Forgotten.
Some time passed, and again I wanted to pop by since I was nearby. I called, and Emily answered, saying they weren’t at home. However, later Alex inadvertently mentioned they’d been at home the whole day. I didn’t delve into it. I thought perhaps Emily was going through a tough time, or she’d “return to her normal self” after trying out the daughter-in-law role. I tried not to turn my son against her. I didn’t want to become that kind of mother-in-law people tell jokes about.
But the last straw came recently. I bumped into Emily at the shop—literally face-to-face. As a civil person, I greeted her. And she…pretended she didn’t see me. Walked right past as if I were invisible. I stood there, stunned. Was I really such a stranger to her that I didn’t even deserve a simple “hello”?
I didn’t call Alex. Didn’t complain. Though I itched to ring Emily and ask—what did I do wrong? Why shut me out? How did I upset you? But I stayed silent. Because I held onto some hope that this wouldn’t last forever. That maybe she’s expecting a child, and it’s just hormones acting up. Or as they say, she’s losing it. Or maybe… maybe that’s just who she is. And all her prior “niceness” was an act to win approval. Now the mask is off.
I don’t know if I should talk to her directly. Maybe time will truly sort everything out. But right now, I feel unnecessary. And that’s terrifying. Especially when you’re not an enemy or a stranger, but the mother of the man she calls her husband.
Tell me, do you think a mother-in-law should speak openly about such pain? Or is it better to endure and hope that someday the daughter-in-law will understand on her own? Why did Emily change so much after the wedding? Where’s that girl I once was genuinely happy about?
