I thought I was fortunate with my daughter-in-law… But after the wedding, she turned into a different person.
When my son, Alexander, introduced me to Lucy, I immediately thought we were lucky. She seemed straightforward, neat, and homely. Their apartment was always tidy, everything in its place, she cooked well, and she was always polite, smiling, and friendly. I never heard her say a harsh word. We saw each other often — either they would visit me at my garden, or I’d drop by for tea. I never felt like an outsider; in fact, Lucy always tried to help and make me comfortable. I was happy — for my son and for myself. Finally, I thought, he would have a real family.
They had been dating for just six months when Alexander proposed. Lucy, of course, said yes, but she immediately mentioned she dreamed of a lavish wedding — with a white dress, limousine, and photographer. They didn’t have much money then, so they decided to save up for six months. I didn’t interfere in their plans; I didn’t have extra money myself, and advice is best given when asked for. The young ones would decide how to live their lives. The main thing was they loved each other.
The wedding went as they dreamed. I gifted them money instead of buying unnecessary things — they could decide what they needed most. The guests were mostly their friends; my friend, Alexander’s godmother, couldn’t attend. I stayed a bit and then left, not wanting to intrude on the young people’s fun. We had arranged to gather at my garden the next day.
The following day, the godmother and I prepared salads and barbecue. The newlyweds arrived. I noticed Lucy looked sullen and spoke little, spending the day on her phone, never glancing my way. Alexander helped a bit, but she didn’t lift a finger. I blamed it on fatigue — after all, a wedding is exhausting.
But this behavior continued. Our meetings became infrequent, always at my insistence. I didn’t push; I understood they were a young family, finding their footing. Still, I wished to see my son at least once a month.
On Alexander’s birthday, I bought him a gift and called to visit briefly and present it. He said they weren’t celebrating due to lack of funds. I understood. But half an hour later, Lucy called with a cold voice saying, “We want to be alone, please don’t be offended.” I thought maybe there was a romantic surprise planned. But later, I found out they had friends over. I wasn’t invited, no explanations given. I was simply ignored.
I felt like an outsider. Unwanted. Forgotten.
Some time passed, and I wanted to stop by again while I was near their place. I called — Lucy said they weren’t home. Yet Alexander later mentioned they had been home all day. I didn’t press further. I thought maybe Lucy was going through a rough patch or just needed time. I tried not to turn my son against her. I didn’t want to be the stereotypical mother-in-law people make jokes about.
But the tipping point came not long ago. I literally bumped into Lucy at a store. As someone well-mannered, I said hello. She acted as if she didn’t see me, walking past as if I were invisible. I was stunned. Was I so insignificant to her that I didn’t even deserve a simple “hello”?
I didn’t call Alexander. I didn’t complain, even though I wanted to ask Lucy why she turned away, what I had done wrong. But I remained silent, holding on to some hope that this wouldn’t last forever. Maybe she was expecting a child and her hormones were acting up. Or, as the saying goes, she was “going off the rails.” Or perhaps… this was her real self, and her previous kindness was just an act until the wedding.
I don’t know if I should confront her. Maybe, in time, things will sort themselves out. But for now, I feel unnecessary. That’s a frightening feeling, especially when you’re not the enemy, not some stranger, but the mother of the man she calls her husband.
Tell me, what do you think — should a mother-in-law speak openly when feeling such pain? Or is it better to wait, hoping the daughter-in-law will figure it out herself? Why did Lucy change so much after the wedding? Where is the girl I was once so pleased about?
