I gave up my own happiness to please my familyyet, in the end, they were the very first to turn their backs on me.
When I closed the door to my flat, it was close to midnight. Only the small lamp above the hallway mirror was onthe same lamp my mother insisted I keep because it was still perfectly fine. I took off my shoes slowly and felt that familiar weight in my chest, the one that visited each night without fail.
There was a note waiting for me on the kitchen table.
Call me. Its urgent.
Signed: Mum.
I didnt even sigh. I just sat down and dialled her number, as always. My own life could wait.
Where have you been at this hour? was the opening lineno are you alright?
I was at work.
You know you have to come to ours tomorrow, dont you? Your father isnt well. And your sister cant manage. Again.
Of course she couldnt. My sister always couldnt. And I always could.
Years ago, I was offered a job in another citygood salary, new beginning, a chance to be more than the daughter everyone relies on. My mother cried. My father said nothing. And my sister just remarked, Cant you think about us, for once? And so, I thought about it. And I said no.
After that, I got married. Not out of love, but because everyone said it was time. My husband was suitablethe very word my family used. Suitable, but distant. Over time, we became flatmates, discussing only bills and chores.
When I divorced, no one came to my defence.
You brought this on yourself, said Mum.
You should have stuck it out, Dad added.
I swallowed it downagain.
The real blow came when I fell illnot something dramatic at first: fainting, exhaustion, pain that never quite eased. The doctor told me I needed to slow down, look after myself, stop carrying the world alone.
That evening, I broke the news at home.
So youre not coming tomorrow? Mum asked.
I cant. I really dont feel well.
A silence settled. Then her voice turned cold.
Well, if youve started thinking only of yourself, then…
After that, they didnt call for days. Then weeks.
When I finally went to theirs, it was my sister who opened the door. She smiled awkwardly.
We werent sure youd actually come, she said.
I stepped inside and instantly felt like a visitor. Not family, not foundationjust someone who had dared to put herself first for once.
Thats when the truth hit me.
As long as I abandoned myself, I was needed.
The moment I asked for help, I became a burden.
I left that house quietlyno rows, no tears.
But with a clear decision.
I wont live a life that isnt truly mine, not just to make things easier for others.
Sometimes losing the people youve sacrificed yourself for isnt a tragedy.
Sometimes its the only way to survive.
