I Refused to Help Barbara (My Mother-in-Law), and Alice (My Wife) Filed for Divorce

 

Recently, my wife Alice decided to divorce me, citing the reason: “We have no shared interests.” All those interests immediately disappeared right after I stated that I refused to go to the countryside to help her mother, Barbara, where we were supposed to work in the vegetable garden.

I cannot say that I am lazy. Quite the opposite—I consider myself hardworking. However, driving there every single week just to deal with potatoes has become too exhausting. I want to spend my weekends doing something I enjoy: going fishing, riding my bike, or simply sleeping in. But no—Alice thinks otherwise.

Why rest at all? According to her, I do nothing at work anyway, just sit in an office.

I started earning money on my own at the age of fourteen. I met Alice when she was sixteen, and by then I was already an adult. Alice was raised by her mother, Barbara, so I did my best to help them out: buying textbooks for her studies, helping purchase clothes, and so on.

I also helped them around the house. All the tasks typically handled by a man fell on my young shoulders, and I managed them quite well.

Later, when Alice’s grandmother, Margaret, passed away, her small countryside house went to Barbara. From that moment on, both mother and daughter decided they were going to become landowners. My back already aches from all the garden work, yet nobody bothers to ask whether I still want to be out there laboring. After all, I might have other interests, too.

What bothers me the most is that these trips demand a lot of gasoline, and the garden itself provides no significant benefit. Collecting 30–40 kilograms of potatoes—when compared to the cost of fuel—turns out to be much cheaper if we just buy them at the store.

None of my arguments make any impression on Alice, and we often have heated arguments because of this. We have been married for more than fifteen years, and after everything we have been through together, she now says we have no shared interests at all.

How am I supposed to understand that? What about our two children, our cats, and the mortgage we share? Are those not common interests? I believe it is more than enough for us to continue living together. But Alice is not satisfied by that.

How can I make her understand that this is not a valid reason to get a divorce?

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I Refused to Help Barbara (My Mother-in-Law), and Alice (My Wife) Filed for Divorce