I feel the need to write about a revelation that’s come to me rather late in life. Sadly, Ive only just realised some rather bleak truths, but I suppose better late than never.
I finally see why Im living on my own now at seventy years old. My children havent spoken to me in a decade, and my grandchildren probably dont even know that Im still about. How did things come to this?
Its dawned on me, now in my old age, that I lived my life the wrong way around and made a great many decisions I dearly regret. But time, once gone, cannot be reclaimed.
I always saw my children as somewhat foolish and impulsive, quick to make poor choices. I took it upon myself to guide them, constantly pointing out how they should livewhat would be better, or what I thought they ought to do. If they stumbled or things didnt go well for them, Id make a point of highlighting their mistakes, throwing around my favourite line: If only youd listened to your mother, things would have turned out quite differently.
I was forever interfering in their private affairs, convinced they couldnt manage a thing without my say-so. Sometimes, I even criticised them in front of friends or the family at gatheringsnever pausing to think of their feelings.
Over time, they simply drifted away from me, and now were as good as strangers. I wasnt even told when my granddaughter was born; I heard about it eventually from someone I barely knew.
I tried to reach out, to write, to call, but it was all for nothing. My children replied curtly:
If were such fools, perhaps youd best find cleverer people to speak with. Why would you need us?
What I have come to see now is thischildren ought always to be treated as complete individuals in their own right, deserving the same respect youd show any adult. What they need from a parent is understanding and encouragement, someone wholl listen, who might bake them a nice pie and share a cup of tea, not someone wholl scrutinise every choice they make.
Its not our place to meddle in their private lives. Its their path, and they should walk it how they see fit. Now, I find myself alone, with all my cleverness bringing me nothing at all.
Cherish your children, for if you dont, you might just find yourself as lonely in your twilight years as I am.
