Managed to get my son divorced, and ended up regretting it
My daughter-in-law dropped off the granddaughter again for the weekend, grumbled my neighbour, Ruth, as we passed on the stairs. Cant get her to eat a proper meal! Mummy said princesses dont eat a lot! she claims, takes two bites, and that’s her done! Shes gone so thin, she practically glows in the dark!
Ruth took an instant dislike to her son Pauls wifeCharlottethe very first time she set eyes on her. Mainly because Charlotte was an entire seven years older than Paul, who, in Ruths eyes, was barely out of school shortsa right young lad, just finished his A-levels.
Hed never even known women before her! Ruth huffed. So of course he fell for her! She dazzled him with all that life experience, and that was that!
Now, Charlotte was, admittedly, striking. Looked after herself, dressed tastefully, ambitious career woman. Truth be told, Paul falling for her didnt surprise me at all. No wizardrylets face it, men fall in love eyes first, and there was plenty to gawk at here.
She was all about healthy eating and self-care; naturally, she brought up her daughter with the same ideaseat properly, never stuff yourself, think bikini body at all times.
Just months into their courtship, Charlotte found herself expecting. Was it just to spite Ruth, who had spent her free time trying to sabotage the relationship? Or maybe she really fancied the idea of being a wife? Or, possibly, it was simply one of those things. No matter, as Paul was resolute: hed marry Charlotte, grand romance and all. Hed just turned 18. She was already 25.
Paul enrolled in college and juggled studying with part-time jobs. Determined to be independent from the parents, he and his brand-new wife struck out on their own. First, a grotty rented bedsit, then a small box-room in a shared house.
They were beaming. Ruth, of course, didnt let things restfinding new nitpicks every week. Charlottes cooking: all wrong. Husbands shirts: not pressed properly. Daughters outfit: not weather-appropriate. According to Ruth, Charlotte had precisely zero redeeming qualities, just a long list of failing marks. This she repeated to her son, and to anyone else she could corner about it.
Eventually, Charlotte cut off contact with Ruth wherever possible. She began managing everything herselfnursery runs, gymnastics clubs, even chess club for her daughter. If she wasnt dashing from work to childcare, she was at the gym, or rushing off for a manicure or a much-needed trim. Home became more of a place to store handbags than to actually reside.
Paul, meanwhile, would come back from work to find the place deserteddaughter at activities, wife either with her or off for some me time. Hed have a cold sandwich and wonder about what to do next.
One evening, their neighbour Janice knocked on the doora 38-year-old widow with two moody teenagers. The communal kitchen sink had started to gush water like Niagara, and she asked Paul if he could sort it before the downstairs mob broke out the canoes.
Paul, ever handy, turned off the water, found the right bits and bobs, and started tinkering. Janice, meanwhile, was frying up sausages and mash. As a thank you, she dished him up a plateful. Paul accepted gratefully. Charlotte never really fried up sausagescookery just didnt make her list.
After that, Janice regularly invited Paul for a bite whenever Charlotte and their daughter were out, and the two would sit in the shared kitchen, chatting over her home-cooked dinners and tea. The evenings soon became the highlight of Pauls week. The feeling was evidently mutual: neither quite knew when it happened, but suddenly the evenings werent just friendlythey couldnt imagine life without that quiet company.
Now, life in shared houses never lacks an audience. Neighbours notice everything, and theres always someone keen to relay the gossip. So before long, someone told Charlotte that her husbands evening visits to Janices werent exactly literary salons.
The ensuing row shook the very foundations of the houseeveryone heard it. Charlotte, never one to hang about, quickly packed Pauls belongings and unceremoniously deposited them outside for collection.
Paul had nowhere to gotoo late to run home to mum, no friends with spare sofasso Janice, of course, welcomed him in.
At the time, Charlotte and Pauls daughter was six. Paul was 25, Charlotte 32, Janice 39.
Ruth, when she first heard her darling boy had left his wife, positively glowed with I told you so. But once it emerged that Paul had moved in with Janicewho had two teenagers and was a full fourteen years older than himRuth fell oddly silent.
Her sudden acceptance was confusing, after years of criticising Charlotte simply for being older than her son. Maybe she realised it was all a bit pointless, now shed actually won?
Its been about 15 years now since the great divorce drama. Paul and Janice are still together. They never had children together, but honestly, they seem like theyve been married since time began. Age gap and all, theyre as content as two peas in a pod. Ruths happy to have them over for the occasional Sunday roastno lectures, no sniping, just cups of tea and idle chat. Peace reigns.
And you know what? Paul looks genuinely happy. Go on, thendoes age really matter, or is love just a matter of finding someone wholl make you sausages and mash and listen to your silly jokes?
