I never loved my wife, and I told her so many times. It wasnt her faultwe got on well enough. She never made a scene or blamed me for anything. She was always kind and caring. Yet the problem remained: there was no love.
Every morning, I woke up wanting to leave. I dreamed of finding a woman I could truly love. But I never imagined how fate would turn everything upside down.
With Emily, I felt comfortable. Not only did she keep the house perfectly, but she was also radiant. My mates envied me, baffled at how Id landed such a catch.
I didnt understand it either. Im just an ordinary bloke, nothing special compared to others. Yet she loved me How was that possible?
Her love and devotion gnawed at me. What tortured me more was the thought that if I left, someone else would take my placesomeone richer, more charming, more successful.
The idea of her with another man drove me mad. She was mine, even if Id never loved her. That sense of possession overruled reason. But can you spend a lifetime with someone you dont love? I thought I could, but I was wrong.
“Tomorrow, Ill tell her everything,” I decided before bed. The next morning over breakfast, I mustered my courage.
“Emily, sit down. We need to talk.”
“Of course, darling. Whats on your mind?”
“Imagine we divorce. I leave, we live apart”
Emily laughed. “What a funny thought! Is this a game?”
“Hear me out. Im serious.”
“Alright, Im imagining it. What then?”
“Answer honestlywould you find someone else if I left?”
“James, whats got into you? Why are you thinking of leaving?”
“Because I dont love you. I never have.”
“What? Are you joking? I dont understand.”
“I want to go, but I cant. The thought of you with someone else wont leave me be.”
Emily paused, then replied calmly, “Id never find anyone better than you, so dont worry. GoI wont be with anyone else.”
“You promise?”
“Of course,” she assured me.
“Wait but where would I even go?”
“Youve nowhere to go?”
“No. Weve always been together. I suppose Id have to stay near you,” I said glumly.
“Dont fret,” Emily replied. “After the divorce, well swap the flat for two smaller ones.”
“Really? I didnt expect you to help me like this. Why would you?”
“Because I love you. When you love someone, you dont hold them against their will.”
A few months passed, and we divorced. Soon after, I learned Emily hadnt kept her word. Shed found another man, and the properties shed inherited from her grandmother? Shed never planned to share them. I was left with nothing.
How can I trust women now? Ive no idea.
The lesson? Possession isnt love, and promises made in pity rarely hold. Sometimes, the one who seems too good to leave is the one who knows best how to let go.
