I married a woman who already had a baby. Eighteen years went by, and she left me. But her daughter chose to spend the holidays with me.
It was three in the afternoon on December 22nd, and I was still in my pyjamas, eating cornflakes straight from the box, when I heard a key turn in the lock.
Bloody hell. Kate still had a key.
But it wasnt Kateit was Emily, lugging two massive suitcases and her university backpack.
Alright, Dad.
The cereal box slipped right out of my hands.
Emily? What on earth?
Im moving in with you, she said, letting her bags drop with a heavy thud. Well, if thats alright. If not, I suppose thisll be incredibly awkward, since Ive dragged all this here.
I shot up from the sofa so quickly my head spun.
Moving in? Does your mum know?
Of course. We had the talk. She made air quotes. I told her I wanted to live here. That this has always been my home. Kate cried, I criedit was a mess. But she understood.
But
Dad. She gave me that serious look she used whenever she was really being sincere. Mum has her new life now, her minimalist flat where everythings white and youre nervous to touch anything. And you have this housewhere I can leave my mug wherever I fancy and nobody freaks out.
Oi, I do clean.
Of course. Thatd be why there are three mugs in the living room.
She was right. And at least another six in the kitchen.
Besides she continued, pulling off her coat, who else is going to make sure youre not just surviving on takeaway and sadness?
I laughed, even with the lump in my throat.
I use chopsticks. That has to count for something.
Thats basic survival, Dad, not a proper life.
Emily headed for the kitchen to investigate.
Blimey, this is worse than I imagined, she muttered, opening the fridge. Soy sauce, three ales, and some yoghurt thats gone off? Dad, honestly, its tragic.
The yoghurts only a fortnight old, I said.
It says March.
March was two Alright, you win.
She spun round, hands on her hipsjust like when she was eight and used to boss me about doing her plaits.
Right. Were hitting Tesco tomorrow. Tonight, were ordering pizza like civilised people. You still have the number for that place with extra cheese?
On speed dial.
Of course you do.
While we waited for the pizza, she wandered about the house like an estate agent.
Your rooms a tip, but mines exactly the same, she grinned, entering her old bedroom. You even left up those embarrassing sixth form posters.
You put them there. I wouldnt dare touch your stuff.
She went quiet, taking in the walls, the photos, the desk piled with battered old books.
You know whats funny? Emily said, sitting on her bed. Mum let me arrange everything how I wanted in the new flat. Any way you like, she said. But its already how I like it here. This is my space.
I sat beside her.
Emily, you dont need to stay out of pity. Im alright, love, really.
Its not pity, you wally. She nudged my arm. Its because, when I took my first steps, you were there waiting with open arms. When I had nightmares, you let me crawl into your bed. When I finished sixth form, you cried more than I did.
I didnt cry that much.
Dad, you got through three pocket tissues.
I was allergic.
To emotions, probably.
She smiled and leant her head on my shoulder.
Youre my dad. Not the bloke who gave me half my DNAthe one who gave me everything else. And now youve got this big house all to yourself, eating tragic cornflakes in your pyjamas, you think Im going to just leave you here? Not a chance.
My voice caught.
Love you, pet.
Love you too, you old fool. But seriously, were cleaning this place tomorrow. It smells weird.
Christmas Eve arrived and Emily kept her promise. She dragged me to the supermarket.
Were doing a proper dinner. No more cartons of Chinese.
But its tradition
The new tradition is real food. Come on.
We bought all sorts. She flung things in the trolley like a woman on a mission.
Are we even sure we know how to cook half of this? I asked.
Course not. But theres YouTube and bravery. Thats enough.
It wasnt nearly enough.
The turkey was raw in the middle and burned on the outside. The mash looked like PVA glue. The veg was more charcoal than anything edible.
We stared in silence at the disaster spread across the table.
Well, said Emily, we can always
Order Chinese?
Were ordering Chinese.
We ate straight from the boxes, howling with laughter at our complete culinary collapse. It was the best Christmas Eve Id had in ages.
You know what? I said. I reckon this ought to be our new tradition.
We try cooking something posh, fail spectacularly, then order Chinese.
Sounds perfect.
After dinner, she handed me a tiny box.
Go on. Your present.
Inside was a key on a handmade keyring that said Home.
A copy of my key. I officially live here now. She grinned. Its a bit wonky, but its made with love.
I hugged her so tight she squeaked.
Its perfect.
Oi, youll crush me.
Oh, be quiet and let me have a moment.
She giggled and hugged me back.
Thank you for everything, Dad. For all eighteen years. For never walking away. For just being you.
Thank you for choosing to stay.
Always.
That night, I sat awake staring at the new key.
Kate was goneand it hurt.
But Emily stayed.
And that that was everything.
